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Posted by: Reyo Aug 1 2010, 05:21 PM

Poll coming soon.

I've looked through these specific subsection to the best of my ability and couldn't find anything on this topic. If one exist, lock this thread and direct everyone to that thread (you know...like normal).

All religious obligation aside, I chose abstinence (inb4 not by YOUR choice LOLOLOLOL) because it's pretty much the only 100% garuntee that the evils they tell you about (AIDS...babies...AIDS and babies) in reference to sex won't happen to you. If I'm wrong, tell me. The other thing is that I'm trying to treat sex like it's something more than a joke that you can gloat about your weekend with. I know that sex is no longer just for procreation thanks to the social evolution of the human race, but I just can't see myself saying "Yo man, you see that...I hit that!" with pride.

I don't try and judge people who have premarital sex (though I'll judge the living hell out of you if you say something like "Yo man, you see that...I hit that!") since, again, social evolution.

So what is it for you, and why?

Times sex has been said in this thread: 6

...wait, 7.

EDIT: Anyone know how to poll?

EDIT 2: Poll added with +3 relevance and 5% increase in curiousity.

EDIT 3: Ok, just to clarify things, this thread is under the assumption that everyone participating would, at some point, like to have relations with someone. And for the sake of argument, chastity has to do with premarital sex. If you plan on never getting married, or are gay and feel that the whole "gay marriage" thing may never get resolved, pick one of the other two...or pick any of the three. I've also added a 4th option in case sex totally grosses you out and you'll be having "none of that". Pick which one you want, I'm just some nameless, faceless entity on the internet.

Posted by: Caesar Augustus Aug 2 2010, 08:41 AM

inb4 religious arguments

I'm not a religious person. I'm not going to argue "because Jesus said so". I believe in waiting for the right person, and the right time.

That being said, I don't believe that sex before marriage is wrong. I'm not saying "everybody have sex whenever" because that will spread STD's like wildfire. However, there's that human sense of instinct that you just know you're with the right person and it's the right time. Fuck the church saying "YOU'RE JUST HORNY SO PRAY TO JESUS". Instinct is the sense of when it's right. However, I believe that safe sex is necessary, especially before marriage. Even after marriage, dependent on the situation.

Fuck Natural Family Planning. Fuck it. For those of you who don't know, Natural Family Planning is the church-approved way of birth control. It doesn't involve any forms of contraception, no condoms, no pill. The idea is that, supposedly, at the time of ovulation, the cervix leaks some form of mucous, which means that the woman is almost ready to be fertile. So, if a couple wants to have sex without a baby, they wait until later, or vice-versa if they want a baby.

I'm sorry, but mucous coming from a vagina does not tell me anything. At all.

Back to the abstinence debate, I'm an out-of-wedlock baby. I was 18 months old when my parents got married. Once again, the church says it's a sin to fornicate (aka sex outside of marriage). My 18-year-old question that has never been answered: what about children of fornication? Am I a one-way ticket to hell?

So I believe that, if you know if you're with the right person and it's the right time, and you're safe, go for it. There's a right time for everything. If it's after marriage, it's after marriage. If it's before, it's before. It's not when you're 12. Enough said.

Posted by: Wishful Jirachi Aug 2 2010, 08:48 AM

Abstinence

I would rather not have to deal with all the troubles that come along with it and it's much more helpful to the world to adopt a child instead of creating another. I myself don't think I would be able to handle having my own child which is a major factor and that other fact that when I do get married the guy shouldn't like me becuase of sex. He should like me for me and not care that I plan to be abstinent.

Posted by: Caesar Augustus Aug 2 2010, 09:11 AM

I'd just like to make the quick point that abstinence means to never have sex. Ever.

Chastity is waiting until marriage to have sex and only having sex to procreate. No recreational sex.

Posted by: Wishful Jirachi Aug 2 2010, 09:19 AM

I understand that Caesar, perhaps I worded it difficultly before.

Posted by: Caesar Augustus Aug 2 2010, 09:20 AM

True, I just thought I'd point out the difference for reference later on.

Posted by: Reyo Aug 2 2010, 03:40 PM

Good catch.

Though whenever I took a health class, the teacher would always refer to premarital abstinence as just plain abstinence.

Posted by: Galahawk Aug 2 2010, 06:21 PM

Augustus, abstinence means no sexual contact ever. Not just sex, any sort of erotic play falls under it. Just something I'd like to add to that.
I don't really see why abstinence was removed from the poll. Some people really are hard-wired to not want to have sex at all.

In general, I support whatever the hell other people do with their sex lives. Chastity can also be questionable because some couples decide not to get married, but live their lives as if they were. *shrug*
I know all the pros and cons of sex, how to use contraceptives, etc. So if given the choice to have sex, I probably would. (but personally I think I'm gonna hold off until after college)

But really, other peoples' sex lives are none of my business, so they can do whatever they want.

Posted by: Reyo Aug 2 2010, 08:03 PM

Redid the poll with that in mind, though I will say that I hope I don't have to add new options in case anyone gets butthurt that I didn't add "in the ear" or any other crazy stuff like that.

Posted by: bijoukaiba Aug 2 2010, 10:05 PM

I don't really know how to phrase this... so, in a sort of TL;DR fashion -

Abstinence/chastity is perfectly fine. It is, after all, the only 100% effective way to prevent STDs and pregnancy.

I think UNprotected sex should wait until after a couple is married, since a couple that has vowed to spend their lives together will probably be more effective at raising a child. Not saying that single parents do a bad job of raising kids, but it's probably... "easier", for lack of a better term, since there are two people that can take turns changing diapers, feeding, and caring for the baby in the middle of the night.

Protected sex is okay before marriage, but only if you're sure about it - like REALLY sure, like you truly love the person and vice-versa, and it's not some one night stand. If it were me, I would wait until I had been in the relationship for close to a year or more and it had still been a strong relationship during that time before having safe sex.

Posted by: Bad Apple Aug 3 2010, 01:58 AM

What exactly is wrong with one night stands, though? There's no added risks if the same precautions (protection and such) are taken.

Posted by: LiteSpeed Aug 3 2010, 02:08 AM

Both are pretty dangerous I'm guessing.

Protected sex can risk it, with broken condoms and such, etc.

Abstinence however imo would probably lead to sexual buildup eventually. Thus rape or something.

Protected sex would have to get my vote though.

Just my two cents worth.

Posted by: GenericGirlName Aug 3 2010, 02:38 AM

I voted Safe sex.

And I wont even voice my opinions on other stuff for fear of butt hurting everyone.

Posted by: Reyo Aug 3 2010, 09:23 AM

Rape isn't the only thing that could come from sexual buildup. One activity in particular is very popular, yet no man on earth would ever admit it face to face.

Posted by: Bad Apple Aug 3 2010, 09:39 AM

*snorts*

And LiteSpeed, as far as my understanding goes, rape is more power driven than it is sex driven.

Posted by: Annakyoyama358 Aug 3 2010, 10:07 AM

Personally, I don't think it matters when you have sex. If your comfortable with one night stands, have fun. I wasn't okay with the emotional or physical reprocussions of that. You don't know that guy, he could be a freaking stalker psycho.

I waited until I was in love, then we BOTH got tested for STDs (even though we were both virgins) and used a condom until I went on the Depo Provera shot. no we have 'unprotected' sex (as in no condom) because we're not worried about STDs and i'm on a shot that basically puts me past menopause until I stop using it. (BONUS: I haven't bled out my vagina in YEARS!)

Posted by: Reyo Aug 3 2010, 02:14 PM

Is that healthy? That doesn't sound very healthy, but then again I'm not you and you're not me. Whatever makes you happy.

*glares uneasily*

Posted by: Caesar Augustus Aug 3 2010, 02:18 PM

Depo Provera is birth control, Reyo. It works almost like the pill. Women don't ovulate, and thus don't go through the rest of the menstrual cycle.

Posted by: Annakyoyama358 Aug 3 2010, 07:05 PM

This. Depo is the shot that lasts 3 months. A common side effect is not having periods, just like girls on yaz, or who take the pill and skip the sugar pills once a month.
There's no health risk to not having a period (It's true! ). In fact, no period, means VERY slim chance of accidentally having a baby, plus, soooooo much more comfortable. No cramps, no gross pads/tampons, no grumpiness.... It's heaven.
Plus, I only have to remember to take it 4 times a year. I'd never remember to take a pill every day. XD

I personally think it's great. I learned about it in 17 magazine. Pathetic I know, but my sex-ed class didn't cover it, only condoms, the pill, and diaphrams. It's pathetic t hat I saw more options in a magazine! I had no idea that shots, nuvaring, and iud's existed.

Posted by: Reyo Aug 3 2010, 07:17 PM

Well as long as it's a normal side effect of the pill I see no issue with it. I just remember that women also lose their periods when they have too low a percent body fat, which usually ends with infertility (which is considered a health risk to some people). If the ovulation continues if you stop taking the pills then there shouldn't be an issue with it.

PS, I figured it was birth control since you said that you stopped using a condom after starting it. I've just never heard of one that stops ovulation. It's all fine though.

Posted by: Rumn Aug 3 2010, 08:17 PM

Wow, I should check out that shot...

But as long as there's an understanding/agreement between the two of what exactly they're doing. Like, a one night stand or what not, then as long as you both get tested (if either has ever done it before), go wild. Of course, condoms are also really good protection against those, so it's like two birds with one stone....

And with the argument that there's enough kids in the world... that's true, but think of how they're spread.... A high percentage of kids are in developing countries, and below the poverty line...

So in the societies WE live in, we usually have a lack of children.... My country in particular has a lower birth rate than death rate - our society really would be getting smaller and smaller if it wasn't for all the migrants coming here.

Posted by: Crystal Shards Aug 3 2010, 08:17 PM

For school:

Safe sex discussions should include abstinence by default. But forcing someone to have abstinence-only education is setting them up for failure... It actually raises rates of STDs because teens will do oral or anal sex because they think that's not "real" sex (and why would they think that? They don't know any better.). Also, because they don't know about contraception as well as people who have actual sex education, they likely won't do any if they "slip up" and end up doing the deed.

Additionally, kids need to be taught about gay sex. Why? Some of them might be gay, and they might (wrongly) think that that contraception stuff only applies to straight folk since they can't have kids if two dudes do it.

But yeah I think abstinence should be touted, just along with information on how to have safe sex if you're gonna do it. That includes finding out where you can get contraception, including Plan B. And honestly I think seeing pictures of gonorrhea, chlamydia, and all those other pleasant little STDs would discourage kids from practicing unsafe sex. So would learning what REALLY goes into raising a kid, and I don't mean carrying around sugar bag babies. I mean learning how much it costs a year, what you have to do, the tests you have to go through when pregnant, child support costs, etc. Sure as hell would make me wanna say, "No glove, no love."

As for my personal beliefs on sex:

Safe sex is the best option. Abstinence doesn't tend to lead to rape but it does tend to lead to a lot of weird perversion, since in and of itself abstinence is sexual perversion (perversion being against nature here--it's natural to want sex since it's a biological desire). If you don't really have a sex drive, abstinence is fine, but as the Catholic priest scandals show you, having a sex drive is a problem if you're forcing yourself to be abstinent, especially for life. One night stands are fine as long as both have the same expectations for what happens after the night is over. The same thing goes with friends with benefits. Personally, I've never had sex with someone I wasn't in some kind of a relationship with, and I've been tested for AIDS and do that stuff regularly.

I've been on Depo Provera and yeah it's healthy but the side effects took their toll on me (I was one of the unfortunate ones on a constant period and one point and it gave me depression and fucked me up emotionally... and it's not like you can stop taking it since it's a shot that works for three months). I've also been on Nuva Ring in the past and right now I'm on Microgestin. They've worked fine. I've also used Plan B before as well. (It doesn't make you a slut, by the way, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know plenty of people who have used it and I was in a monogamous relationship, as I always am with sex. Sometimes stuff comes up that you weren't planning, hence the name.) And of course using a condom adds that much more protection (although, contrary to popular belief, "doubling up" (wearing two condoms) is actually a BAD idea because it breaks the condoms a lot easier, making it more risky (and expensive) than just wearing one that fits you.)

In short, knowing what to do and where to go has saved me a lot of grief. Safe, knowledgeable sex. Good times.

Posted by: Annakyoyama358 Aug 3 2010, 09:19 PM

It's a side effect of any hormonal birth control. Some girls get it, some don't. With the pill, your 30 days of pills are 1/4 sugar pills that do NOTHING because some girls get nervous and panic about pregnancy if they don't get their period. Those of us who don't panic at the slightest sign of nausea/cramps/ect will often not mind the no period thing, or take a pill every day to INSURE it.

But you're right, low body fat causes it, but that is actually because without a small amount of fat, your body doesn't have the amino acids to produce hormones, and then your reproductive system goes screwy. Totally different case. Birth control = steady levels of hormones, as to make babies estrogen and progesterone levels have to fluctuate, whereas low body fat = no hormones at all = bad



Eugh, I was warned of that possible side effect when I started it. I feel for you, that must've sucked for 3 months.

microgestin = form of the pill, right?

There's nothing wrong with using plan b. I've never understood people's problem with it.

Posted by: Reyo Aug 3 2010, 09:27 PM

Yeah, I know how the whole "low body fat" thing works, but this is the first time I'm learning of the ins and outs of birth control that isn't latex. They don't exactly go into that much detail in Health class (which was probably a good thing since my 8th grade mind would have probably imploded).

Posted by: FourTaledKitsune Aug 3 2010, 10:17 PM

I know, and we have all-out sex ed in my school system; the main Health classes are in 7th and 9th/freshman grades. I also took a female-only class that was a combination of P.E. and Health, and I still didn't know half of what I've read in this thread.

(There really should be more in-depth sex ed in Health classes for everyone, but that's another debate.)

On topic, I'm not sure of my opinion, as the pre- or post-marriage arguments are religion-related (marriage itself is a religious union) and who am I to say whether people are intelligent about protection or not? To each his/her own, I suppose; each person/couple/whatever ought to look carefully at all of their options, make decisions that will be the most beneficial to them, and be willing to accept any consequences. I guess you could call that a vote for safe sex, but I dunno myself.

(Personally, I am 100% not interested in romance/relationships/sex/etc., and I hate my period, so I ought to look into no-period birth control. First-day cramps are killer enough that if my period starts on a school day, I have to stay home so I can take medication for the pain. Anyone know if that could be related to my being overweight?)

Posted by: Reyo Aug 4 2010, 12:03 AM

Well...it's debatable, but I've heard from a bunch of my professors that women have more body fat for the purpose of procreation, though I wouldn't know what constitutes as a normal amount of pain in ovulation cramps, so I can't really conclusively relate overweightedness to feeling too much pain during cramping.



Though what I can say is that it wouldn't surprise me.

Posted by: Crystal Shards Aug 4 2010, 02:16 PM

Yes, microgestin is a pill. The kind I'm on doesn't have sugar pills with it, so you just don't take it for a week. Which I don't really like, because I think the sugar pills are actually mostly there to make sure you don't get out of the habit of taking them.

And I agree with the Plan B thing. I have heard people say only sluts use it and it irked me before I had even used it.

Posted by: Annakyoyama358 Aug 4 2010, 09:56 PM

It can if you're OBESE and your weight throws your hormones off. And that's only i your UBER over weight.
And in that case, hormone based protection won't work. I was told by my doc that if I ever went past 200 lbs (i'm about 130, but i've been struggling. I was 105 a few years ago) that depo qould cease to work, and that there are similar thresholds for other hormonal meds (pill/ect) depending on your BMI
But I tell you, the pill does wonders for cramps even if you take it the sugar pill way.



Point 1: Yes, the sugar pills are there for airheads like me that will 100% forget

Point 2:
Fuck those people. Seriously.

Posted by: Crystal Shards Aug 4 2010, 10:34 PM

You probably want to go to your doctor to see about your options, because it really could be anything. Weight may play a part, yes, but it may also be a hereditary thing (you don't mention if relatives have similar issues). Quality of nutrition and amount of exercise you do may also be a factor--those with better nutritional habits and those who exercise more (but not too much) often have less problems with cramping. I know my cramping gets pretty bad but when I exercise regularly it's not really a problem. Stress can also be a factor.

But yeah, the pill is a great idea if you have problems regulating your period (last year I had a period for over a month, so... I mean it happens) and if you have cramping issues. The pill usually at the very least makes your periods lighter, but if you ever become sexually active it's nice to at least have a period. (If you don't have a period and you're sexually active you probably should stock up on pregnancy tests to use monthly if you like to be on the safe side.) It's usually a win-win situation though.

Posted by: FourTaledKitsune Aug 5 2010, 09:32 PM

Well, my eating/exercise habits help to explain why I'm overweight in the first place (other than genetic predisposition), so that's probably it. (My doctor's been on my back about regular exercise anyway, so....) I also asked my mom, and she said her symptoms used to be pretty bad too.

I think I could tolerate my period so much more if it weren't for the first-day cramps and fatigue. And I seem to have a reflex against swallowing pills (I just can't do it, for whatever reason), so I usually have to resort to liquid ibuprofen instead of Midol (which I have, but like I said, I can't swallow pills). I would still like to talk to my doctor about the options that would be available to me; I'll talk to my mom too.

(I'd want to talk to my doctor before starting birth control anyway, wouldn't I? Makes sense to me.)

Posted by: Crystal Shards Aug 6 2010, 09:50 PM

It's recommended you have a pap smear first in most cases, so yeah, you'd probably need to talk to your doctor.