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Global PokédeX Plus Forums _ Debates _ Online Dating

Posted by: Yumie Jun 27 2010, 12:10 PM

I searched the Debate Forum to make sure no one has started this before. And no, I am not talking about things like E-Harmony.

What I am referring to has probably been noticed by almost everyone who visits a forum often. When a guy and a girl meet, and realize they are the same age, they have a high chance of... coupling off. In real life, its very common, and accepted by most people.

But what about online, with someone you met on a forum? Would you ever put yourself in a relationship with a person who you have never seen before?

Personally, my two cents would be a big fat NO. Its one thing to make friends that you would want to get to know in real life, but I think going as far as saying you are "dating" is jumping the gun. You wouldn't be able to tell their little habits and twitches, and would have a very limited view of the person. Also, its easier to hide parts of yourself that you do not like.

But, just so no one feels I am trying to stop teenage hormones, I do know some people that are generally happier now that they have an online "crush." It is harder to get hurt, and you probably won't get sick of each other (You never see each other, so how can you get sick?)

So, what do you people think? Is online dating worth it?

Posted by: Wishful Jirachi Jun 27 2010, 04:31 PM

Honestly it isn't worth it but at least your accepted for your personality not looks.

Posted by: NeonGrace Jun 27 2010, 04:44 PM

QUOTE(Yumie @ Jun 27 2010, 01:10 PM) *
I searched the Debate Forum to make sure no one has started this before. And no, I am not talking about things like E-Harmony.

What I am referring to has probably been noticed by almost everyone who visits a forum often. When a guy and a girl meet, and realize they are the same age, they have a high chance of... coupling off. In real life, its very common, and accepted by most people.

But what about online, with someone you met on a forum? Would you ever put yourself in a relationship with a person who you have never seen before?

Personally, my two cents would be a big fat NO. Its one thing to make friends that you would want to get to know in real life, but I think going as far as saying you are "dating" is jumping the gun. You wouldn't be able to tell their little habits and twitches, and would have a very limited view of the person. Also, its easier to hide parts of yourself that you do not like.

But, just so no one feels I am trying to stop teenage hormones, I do know some people that are generally happier now that they have an online "crush." It is harder to get hurt, and you probably won't get sick of each other (You never see each other, so how can you get sick?)

So, what do you people think? Is online dating worth it?



I took a browse around a site named ROBLOX, (Kids website.)
Why? My friends little sister told me to take a look.
These males it seems, Brats, go on and ask: I need a gf. Or, your hot. lets go out.

Sad. Really. Sad.

MORE THEN HALF boys do that on ROBLOX.

Some girls, too.
I dont go on anymore.

People say if you get caught you get ban for 18 days.
I still see alot out there, though. :/

Posted by: TTD of Hydro Jun 27 2010, 04:45 PM

It isn't worth it at all. The "dating" turns into "can I see you in real life soon?" and questions too personal to answer. In short, there will be a downfall in the relationship and there are more negatives than positives.

Posted by: Shadow Dragon Jun 27 2010, 06:44 PM

Felt like I should put my, ah, two cents in.

To me, the kind of online 'dating' you speak of is, well, horrid. But, sadly, teens and some kids do that these days. Sometimes, I think its just so they can be 'cool' because they have a 'boyfriend/girlfriend'

Sadly, this never works out.
If person A were to just meet person B online, and then they became you-know-what. But, they hardly even know each other. Hell, I bet they don't even know each others names.

I'm not saying I'm fully against it, just being like that does not work out. Maybe, in some cases, you would met online. Then, start talking to each other. Then, maybe after a period of time, you and the other person would be a couple. Maybe, a bit after then, start dating in some form.
But, what I am against it how kids these days, ah, 'jump the gun' at this boyfriend/girlfriend shit. I bet they aren't even ready for it.

Come to think of it, I experimented with this twice. The one time I gave out a fake description of myself. The other was like what was said here.
After a while with the second, I crushed the poor guy's heart by logging off awesome.gif

Back to all seriousness, this just shows how kids these days get into relationships all to fast, all headfirst. They don't know what might happen if they do so. They think that having a girlfriend/boyfriend will make they more cool, as I say. Sadly, this never works. Sometimes, if you do so wrong, a child may end up raped or killed by their foolishness.

Pitiful world, ain't it?

Posted by: Bad Apple Jun 30 2010, 06:58 PM

QUOTE(Yumie @ Jun 27 2010, 06:10 PM) *
Personally, my two cents would be a big fat NO. Its one thing to make friends that you would want to get to know in real life, but I think going as far as saying you are "dating" is jumping the gun. You wouldn't be able to tell their little habits and twitches, and would have a very limited view of the person. Also, its easier to hide parts of yourself that you do not like.

Bear in mind this can also apply to friendships, so that's a moot point.

To me, it largely depends on intention; if you join a forum or actively look for a relationship online then you're usually asking for something to go wrong.

Another thing I think comes into it is maturity and general intelligence and common sense, as most teenagers are largely hormone driven, irrational and lack basic common sense, and they take emotional falls that can result from relationships (either online or offline) harder than those who are more mature.

QUOTE(Shadow Dragon @ Jun 28 2010, 12:44 AM) *
But, what I am against it how kids these days, ah, 'jump the gun' at this boyfriend/girlfriend shit. I bet they aren't even ready for it.

This, basically.

Posted by: Pokii Jun 30 2010, 08:31 PM

I'm liking it so far happy.gif





But yeah, "don't jump the gun" and all that. You obviously (and I say obviously but so few people realize this) need to have a mature mindset to build a lasting relationship, and relationships of any kind (online or not) require lots of time, dedication, and communication. As long as you've got the basics down, I don't think where you meet the other person matters that much...relationships will last or fail depending on a plethora of different factors, but I don't think online relationships should all be completely shot down just because you've never met them in person. In fact, that's the next step of the relationship. And if that doesn't work out, then it was just one of those many factors I mentioned earlier that wouldn't have worked whether you'd met them online or a the coffee shop.

Posted by: lightbird Jul 3 2010, 11:35 AM

I've been in a long distance relationship and think that there is no such thing as dating online in my opinion. As long as I can't see the person in real life, I'll only consider them online friends, no matter how much I like them, and won't fall in love with them, period.

It is definitely problematic if the other side thinks you are dating when you're not noes.gif

Posted by: Samoo Jul 3 2010, 12:16 PM

Tbh... I met my boyfriend off some chat site...

He was someone's ex and everything else. We just spoke to each other as friends and he became someone to talk to. None of those bullshitters who you tell stuff to and they go running off to tell people about it dry.gif

So yeah, I met him and we just went to the cinema with friends of mine and everything. Yet he felt more than friends towards me... which I didn't know about until he blurted it out sealed.gif
But before all that happened, there kinda WAS some indication of him liking me... he was talking to a friend of mine and me at the same time... talking about his ex. He was all all revealing everything to my friend yet not to me... just all nicey nicey smileys and everything... unsure.gif

So yeah idk how you see it as. Personally I think it's alright... as long as you know the person well enough etc. No point going into a relationship if it's only been like 3 days or whatever. Cos that's just desperate and pathetic.


This is how I define online dating btw xD

Posted by: Drifter Jul 3 2010, 09:43 PM

I met my girlfriend online. I think the only way it would work is if you lived remotely close and could visit each other every few months. We had known each other for more than a year and didn't know if it would work but both of us liked each other too much. We call each other on the phone a lot, neither of call each other by a username and we're friends with each other's friends. Plus if we're still going out after a year and a half, we plan on living together.

So I think it'll work.

Posted by: SheJ Jul 14 2010, 01:56 AM

I am all for online dating. As a matter of fact my current boyfriend and I are in an online relationship. I met him on an online social networking avatar site. We became very close friends over a span of two years. He and I ended up getting together after that. It was sort of a natural progression I feel. I know exactly what he looks like and he knows what I look like. We share photos back and forth all the time. We also talk on the phone nearly everyday. If it isn't every day it is every other day. My mom knows about him and has not only talked to him but his mother as well. Not to mention his mother also knows. I plan on going to meet him in person sometime soon and my mom will go with me. I consider us in a relationship and so does he. My mom even considers it a real relationship. I feel as long as you get to know the person, have seen MULTIPLE pictures of them, heard their voice, had them talk to your family member/their family member, and both families are okay with it then the online dating is totally fine.

I believe you really need to take the proper precautions and steps to have online dating be okay and safe. If you do take those proper steps then there is no problem in my mind at all.

Posted by: Picanco Jul 14 2010, 04:39 PM

QUOTE(SheJ @ Jul 14 2010, 01:56 AM) *
I believe you really need to take the proper precautions and steps to have online dating be okay and safe. If you do take those proper steps then there is no problem in my mind at all.


Agreed. You do have to take those steps though, or you could get in deep trouble. I have a family member that met her husband online. Everything seemed to be going okay, and then he just changed. He abused her, both physically and verbally, and we had to get her out of the situation. I think that if they had gotten to know each other in person she would've seen how he truly was. Also, both online and off, don't be so blind in your love not to notice little warning signs like rage that has no real reason. The biggest thing in online dating is when you see your date in person, always make sure it's somewhere public, and bring someone along with you. It's easy for people to pretend to be someone they aren't.

That's my two cents.

Posted by: JohnRichard1991 Jul 14 2010, 04:49 PM

I am fine with online dating, as long as you develop a healthy relationship with someone outside of the computer at some point. Hell, buying a webcam would do. The reason I say this is because it can very difficult to examine emotion when you're talking to someone through text, and it's also very easy to pretend to be someone else through text. Relationships built through lies and a painted on smile is a poor relationship at best.

Posted by: dreexpuppy Jul 14 2010, 05:19 PM

I personally wouldn't do it, but hey it may work for other people. :0

Posted by: Annakyoyama358 Jul 14 2010, 07:48 PM

QUOTE(JohnRichard1991 @ Jul 14 2010, 05:49 PM) *
I am fine with online dating, as long as you develop a healthy relationship with someone outside of the computer at some point. Hell, buying a webcam would do. The reason I say this is because it can very difficult to examine emotion when you're talking to someone through text, and it's also very easy to pretend to be someone else through text. Relationships built through lies and a painted on smile is a poor relationship at best.

Webcams can be faked. Trust me, I know several people who get their kicks from screwing with ppl on chatroulette

Posted by: SheJ Jul 14 2010, 08:06 PM

QUOTE(Annakyoyama358 @ Jul 14 2010, 08:48 PM) *
QUOTE(JohnRichard1991 @ Jul 14 2010, 05:49 PM) *
I am fine with online dating, as long as you develop a healthy relationship with someone outside of the computer at some point. Hell, buying a webcam would do. The reason I say this is because it can very difficult to examine emotion when you're talking to someone through text, and it's also very easy to pretend to be someone else through text. Relationships built through lies and a painted on smile is a poor relationship at best.

Webcams can be faked. Trust me, I know several people who get their kicks from screwing with ppl on chatroulette


That's why I'm a person who advocates for using cameras. They have built-in time stamps on them and if they're your image it will show what camera it was taken from and when. You can't fake it cause it's an ingrained data that is hard to access to my knowledge. Time-stamps can be faked on an image but even time-stamps are hard to fake too. It's not hard to fake a webcam like you said.

Posted by: Zero Gravity Jul 16 2010, 05:57 AM

I tried it online, its horrible, and your in constant doubt about your boyfriend/girlfriend.

It may have just been my experiences, but in all honesty, not worth it in my opinion.
Also mainly because I had 2 bad experiences (betrayals) and i just have ill faith in relationships

Posted by: Stardust Snorter Jul 20 2010, 12:33 PM

It all really depends. Maturity has a lot of play in it surprisingly enough and the willingness to be in contact ect ect.

I met my boyfriend online and we're currently living together. We've been together for about 3-4 years now. A long time for something that started as an online friendship that turned into something more. He lived in Indiana at the time and I lived in Seattle. That's 2200 miles apart. A huge lot. It mostly helped that we were both in college and generally around the same age [Steven was about 22 and I was about 19] so to speak since that's usually the age that teenage drama has settled down and you're getting serious about your future and the like.

I know plenty of couples that have met online and are perfectly happy with each other. Some people even meet once a month or whatnot and the like. Steven and I really couldn't do that since I was constantly busy with work and he finishing up with his college degree. However we made that up by constantly talking on the phone, texting each other and then getting on skype a lot. Communication goes a long way in a relationship.

The amount of communication we do is a healthy factor in the relationship and this is my healthiest relationship to date and I very much am glad that I met Steven. Sure he may not be that great looking but most great looking guys that I've run into in real life are complete assholes. It's all up to you as an individual to take that risk and sometimes it really pays off in the end.

I took that risk and I have to say that I am so much happier for it. Life's a gamble, sometimes you win some sometimes you lose some. Either way you learn something from it.

Posted by: Lacrymosa Jul 20 2010, 02:49 PM

It's not something I have experienced, but I got close to it, and been close to people who were in online relationships. It's a very horrible thing unless the two people meet in real life.. My former closest friend was in such a relationship for two years, and she became a really, really sad and emotional person in those two years. Both sides harmed each other more than they made each other happy, Sure, they were happy, but only until a point.

You literally freak out when you don't see your partner online for a long time, if something happens to them, you won't be able to know, or even help.. it's such a horrible feeling. All you do is worry, worry and worry about them. I remember my friend being very emotional over just missing/being worried about her boyfriend. And when you ask what's wrong, she'd say that she's missing him most of the time. It was eating her from inside. She'd also been very unhappy and hopeless over her partner being sick, cause she was unable to do anything. And stuffffff..

There's also a major trust problem. Your partner might be two timing, and since it's the internet, you might never know anything about it.. that's pathetic. I'm never recommending it to anybody.

Posted by: bijoukaiba Jul 21 2010, 12:21 AM

I actually had a relationship online with a guy I met in an online chatroom about Full Metal Alchemist. We were in this relationship for over a year, he was there for me after rough days in high school (I was about 15-16), and even though we both never told each other where we lived (for both of our securities) or anything like that, I honestly felt very loved during that point in my life. Online or not, it was the closest I had ever been to having a boyfriend (aside from a date I went on at age 17), and it really felt good to me. The thought that he might have just been an old man in 'disguise' does bother me (and again, this goes back to the 'never talking about where we live' thing), but I do believe he was my age or slightly older and he genuinely cared for me. It's been almost 3-4 years since I last spoke to him, but I really liked the time we spent together.

Of course, now that I'm in college, I would love a boyfriend I can see in real life more than anything.

Posted by: Mommy Dearest Jul 21 2010, 06:28 AM

Wow, my answer has more depends than a nursing home.


I know people who met on Live Journal and HPLexicon who are now married. I know people who have had their hearts broken. I know people who have experiences in between.

It depends on the people involved. How much they're willing to invest in it being real? Are they honest with each other? Are they just pretending? There's so much.

Still, it's not necessarily a bad thing. My best friend is someone I met online five years ago. She lives in BC, Canada (Vancouver) and that's 3k away from me. We met only three years ago in person and now meet once a year with other friends at HP cons, mainly.

I don't think we should rely on proximity for our "special someones". I mean it's kinda limiting to expect that your mister or missus right is in the locker next to yours or parks their car along side yours at the local five and dime.

It happens when it happens. And you can feel a connection to people you've never met unexpectedly.

Posted by: Dango Jul 24 2010, 09:14 PM

Disregarding every other reply people have made, I shall state my opinion as clear as possible. (this sounds weird)
Online = Creepy people
Online also = Pedos
Pedos = No-no

People can fake salutes, videos, anything. The online world is so fake.

Posted by: PikaDiety Jul 24 2010, 09:23 PM

While I disagree with online dating, I also disagree with you, Dango. So, everyone online is a pedophile? I'm certainly not, and I doubt that you are. While SOME people online are pedophiles and you DO need to be careful, not everyone is a pedophile.

Posted by: Jtao Jul 25 2010, 02:04 PM

My first relationship was online, and although it didn't work in the end, I feel that it was an important part of my life that I can't overlook. We were friends for years before we got together, and we trusted one another before we got into a relationship.
Sure, we were "hormone-filled" pre-teens who were immature and didn't really know what we were doing, but that happens IRL also. We had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. I learned about heartbreak and how easy it is to be pressured, and how hard it is to not be able to see someone you love.

It gave me an experience that I couldn't of had IRL at the time, and it prepared me for the relationships IRL that I have had.

Also, online dating can't lead to STDs, pregnancy, or physical abuse if you can't see the other person. So for us "hormone-filled" preteens/teens, it might be better sometimes.

Posted by: JOSEPH1103 Jul 25 2010, 03:20 PM

online dating just plain dumb also you dont know if its a guy or girl cause they can take a picture from google also how you ever gonna meet up in real life

Posted by: PikaDiety Jul 25 2010, 03:47 PM

"how can you ever meet in real life?"

Plenty of online friends meet each other in real life, a lot of times without anything bad happening. Sure, sometimes bad things do happen, which is why it's better to meet in a public place or with a group of people you trust or something like that. But it happens a lot.

Posted by: JOSEPH1103 Jul 25 2010, 03:53 PM

well i got told by a newbie thanks for the info

Posted by: SheJ Jul 29 2010, 02:00 AM

QUOTE(JOSEPH1103 @ Jul 25 2010, 04:53 PM) *
well i got told by a newbie thanks for the info


There's a lot of ways you can find out if someone is real or not. For example my Boyfriend is an online relationship right now. I have MULTIPLE pictures of him. It is very hard to google multiple pictures of someone. I have also talked to him on the phone and know for a fact he is male. Also when he sends me pictures they have time stamps on them which are very hard to fake to my knowledge. My mother has spoken to him numerous times and also plans to take me to meet him. It's not hard to meet someone in person if you have other people willing to help you get to them. It's also not hard to do it yourself if you have the money. Always meet during the day time, in a crowded area. It should be some place like a mall or restaurant. Never meet at a movie theater because theaters are dark.

Granted yes, people can fake who they are and fake their images. It's not hard to take multiple pictures of your friend and put them on a profile. It's also not hard to photoshop. However it is easy to tell photoshops.


@Dango: I'm online and I am not a pedophile, neither is my boyfriend, my friends, or my mother. I suggest you think before you make stupid comments like that. You will offend many people by saying everyone online is either creepy or a pedo. I'm not a creepy person, my mother isn't, nor is my boyfriend. Granted some of my friends are strange but that is what I enjoy about them. People are unique. Yes there are some pedophiles on the internet, it's not hard to know who they are to be honest. Nine times out of ten it's easy for someone to figure out who is a pedophile or not in their right frame of mind.

Posted by: Lord Raven Jul 29 2010, 02:07 AM

I've nothing against it, but good luck with pulling it off. Just exercise basic common sense about who's fake and who's not... although it's not very different than like high school lovers going to different colleges.

Posted by: Stardust Snorter Jul 29 2010, 04:24 AM

QUOTE(Dango @ Jul 24 2010, 10:14 PM) *
Disregarding every other reply people have made, I shall state my opinion as clear as possible. (this sounds weird)
Online = Creepy people
Online also = Pedos
Pedos = No-no

People can fake salutes, videos, anything. The online world is so fake.


I'm online and I'm definitely not a pedophile. A bisexual yes; pedophile no. Don't make generalizations like that. It'll only bite you in the ass. Plus you yourself are online- doesn't that make you a creepy pedophile in your books?

People who get online for the sake of dating often end up having their relationships bomb. It's no different than people who only go to adult activities groups for the sole purpose of hooking up ending up bombing all the time. For the most part if you understand that there are false 'people' online but it's not hard to call them out on their bullshit after a while. People make mistakes and liars can't keep lying forever. Truth is always gonna come out one way or another.

And what Jtao said- online relationships don't lead to underaged sex, pregnancy, STDs and physical abuse. There's pros and cons to everything and it's usually up to you to be smart about such decisions.

I personally took a leap of faith with Steven, but hey what's life without a little risk? If I hadn't taken it then I don't think I would be as happy as I am right now. The fact that we blew several hundred hours [and bucks] talking over the phone and Skype helped a lot between the distances.

Relationships differ from couple to couple and that's a pretty easy given there. Patience is key and so is willingness to be able to be open with each other.

Posted by: TyraniBoah Jul 29 2010, 09:41 AM

The internet does allow people to show their personalities. However, if one is considering to marry someone they met off the internet, I wouldn't really advise it. One, is that one of them are lying about their age, details, etc and may ask to met up, and therefore the other person might be in a dangerous situation. There is also the fact, that you can find images of almost anyone on the internet, so it is even more dangerous. There are some who are stalkers and pedos, that do browse the internet.

However these are the bad things. Like I said, it allows people to reveal their personalities and allows the person to make an emotional connection, before making a physical connection. This increases the happiness of both individuals in the relationship. This is all based on the fact, that no-one is lying about themselves, which is very easy to do. It is dangerous but, relationship made on the internet SHOULD work better, however, dating irl has a more personal feeling and it is more easier to bond. I think internet dating works, it just takes a lot longer than irl dating

Posted by: Blueflame Aug 8 2010, 09:29 AM

QUOTE(Jtao)
My first relationship was online, and although it didn't work in the end, I feel that it was an important part of my life that I can't overlook. We were friends for years before we got together, and we trusted one another before we got into a relationship.
Sure, we were "hormone-filled" pre-teens who were immature and didn't really know what we were doing, but that happens IRL also. We had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. I learned about heartbreak and how easy it is to be pressured, and how hard it is to not be able to see someone you love.

It gave me an experience that I couldn't of had IRL at the time, and it prepared me for the relationships IRL that I have had


^ This.

Even though it went horribly wrong for me, I have nothing against online relationships and wouldn't discourage anyone from giving it a try as long as they have a mature mindset about it. That means you don't join a website or IRC channel just to look for a boyfriend or girlfriend. You have to let it happen naturally.

As with any relationship, it's important to give it time and effort. That's where mine went wrong. He'd ignore me for weeks at a time because he had work to do and couldn't understand how much this hurt me. >.> He later admitted that he thought of our relationship as kind of an "if it's meant to be, it'll happen" kind of thing, which is of course not how it works at all if you're not even going to listen to the other person's concerns.

Yes, it is easier to lie about your identity through the internet, but that's no guarantee that it will never work out. You'll just have to spend even more time getting to know the person than you normally would in real life. Like other people were saying, get a webcam and talk that way. Send pictures, talk on the phone. Slowly build up your trust with this person before you invest too much of yourself in them. My ex and I were friends for almost four years before we started to take things farther.

Also realize that when you get close to someone and they can't physically be there with you, you may get very lonely. I remember that happening to me.

Tl;dr, online relationships are harder to maintain than those in real life, and there is a very slim chance of it working out, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to give it a try if you're willing to take the risks and deal with possible consequences.

Posted by: Crystal Shards Aug 8 2010, 10:52 AM

I've done it and even though those relationships ended, I'm still really good friends with the guys and honestly, yeah it was worth it. People tend not to take online relationships seriously, or they try to talk them down ("It really didn't mean anything anyway") after the fact, but... If that person means something to you, (s)he means something to you regardless of distance or whether you've met him/her in "real life." (I've never understood that phrase anyway. The internet is an extension of real life. Everything we do is real life.) In fact, I know a couple that's all but engaged and they dated online for quite some time before actually meeting one another.

I hear people say, "Well there's a chance (s)he's lying to you." Well yeah... but that happens in "IRL" relationships too. I had a guy lie to me for four months saying he loved me when he really wanted to break up with me and had kissed another girl behind my back. How is that any different than something anyone online can tell you? And you hear stories of rape and stuff, and yeah it's terrible and you should be smart about meeting people for the first time, but I hope people realize that people in relationships do get raped by their partners sometimes. The sad thing is it's a lot harder for the person to be believed if the person raping him/her is married to him/her.

I think really it comes down to maturity. Would you take an 8-year-old seriously if (s)he were dating someone online? Probably not. But I wouldn't take him/her all that seriously if (s)he were dating someone from school either. It's an 8-year-old. I'd be a lot more likely to take a 20-year-old seriously when (s)he talks about his/her relationships, whether they're online or in "real life."

Posted by: Hippo Oct 2 2010, 10:21 AM

Online dating can be a really special thing, and not something that people who haven't experienced it should really comment on. Although I don't think it's a good idea to deliberately go looking for a relationship online, sometimes when you're talking with someone every day you can't help but fall in love with them, even if it is online. In the beginning an online relationship really is just like any relationship, when you just want to be together and talking constantly. The only problem you have is that as time goes by and you run out of things to talk about, there isn't the actual companionship of just being with someone that you get in an IRL relationship even when you're not talking. A silent MSN conversation just isn't really the same. Because of this I think it's important to know at least to some degree each others plans for the future, and to try and work out what you're going to do with the relationship moving forwards. Some online relationships stretch across countries and continents, so you have to realize that if you really want to be together it's going to in the end involve someone giving almost everything away to move, including friends, family, maybe even jobs, and if neither of you are prepared for that then you have to accept the fact that it's going to end at some point.

Posted by: BarkAtTheMoon Oct 4 2010, 03:49 PM

I'm not against it, but I do think you gotta be extremely careful. You never know who you are talking to. I mean, they might be the nicest person on earth. But anyone can lie and say they are a certain age and provide you with fake pictures found on google.

I have a friend who has an internet boyfriend and she is very happy.

I would personally never do it because of my first paragraph. Not saying everyone is a fake, but you just dont know

Posted by: FancyGranola Oct 24 2010, 01:10 AM

QUOTE(BarkAtTheMoon @ Oct 4 2010, 01:49 PM) *
I have a friend who has an internet boyfriend and she is very happy.

I think that says enough.

You can make friends online, but I really don't think that the internet should replace a real life interaction you get from people. It's not right to use a tool such as the internet as a way to for a stable relationship. The internet is supposed to spread information around and to communicate. It is a tool, not a replacement for human interaction.

It's much more potent if you ask someone in real life for a date, than to send them an e-mail or text. The internet tells you what you want to hear. That's one of the many reasons why Wikipedia is so usable. The internet is a filter, and to filter out love is gimping yourself. Grow some balls and ask a girl in real life: that's a relationship because you care enough to ask her out face to face.

Posted by: marshtomp1 Oct 24 2010, 01:56 AM

No...I think it's bad!I heard a story which is real-a couple was online dating for about 2 years.At the end they decided to mary.After a month or two they divorced...So It's just stupid!If you want a date go to your school and talk with some girl!

Posted by: MoogleSam Oct 24 2010, 07:54 AM

I think online dating is alright if the person knows what they are doing and understands the possibility that they could be a fake, though that is unlikely as fakes are in the minority really, as much as people want to say they are the majority, they are wrong if they do. It is also hard to get more than one picture of the same person on google unless it is a celebrity or the person looks up someone they know that has put several pictures on the internet.

Pedophiles, again, a minority could also be pretending to be a kid but in reality, it would be hard to pretend you are a kid as you'd know longer words than them, you'd probably be far more mature than them, and you would probably have trouble dumbing yourself down. These people would also be easy to recognise as they'd want to meet in real life quite soon and talk about mature subjects often, as well as asking for pictures of you.

Like normal relationships, online relationships have ups and downs. It is easier to cheat if you have an online relationship with someone, it is easier to lie, it is easier to pretend but it is also easier to communicate, easier to be yourself and easier in general. Of course online relationships can do quite well and they can meet and be together forever or when they meet it can go downhill like a snowball but they tend to have an easier starting point at least.

With relationships offline, the beginning is usually quite hard as the two people would probably feel nervous and worry in case they do something stupid but with online relationships you just have to worry about saying something stupid at the beginning really.

And people saying "go ask someone out in real life", that ain't how relationships work. You don't just ask someone out and they say "sure, let's be boyfriend/girlfriend and boyfriend/girlfriend". What happens is you become friends with people and you develop feelings towards a person as you get to know them better THEN you ask them out.

Seriously, I flat out deny people that ask me out as I know they are doing it as a joke and I don't know them well enough to want to date them. I want to know the person's personality well before I even consider dating them. :/

Posted by: FancyGranola Oct 25 2010, 03:10 AM

QUOTE(MoogleSam @ Oct 24 2010, 05:54 AM) *
With relationships offline, the beginning is usually quite hard as the two people would probably feel nervous and worry in case they do something stupid but with online relationships you just have to worry about saying something stupid at the beginning really.

And people saying "go ask someone out in real life", that ain't how relationships work. You don't just ask someone out and they say "sure, let's be boyfriend/girlfriend and boyfriend/girlfriend". What happens is you become friends with people and you develop feelings towards a person as you get to know them better THEN you ask them out.


That's why you learn. Any asking someone out over the internet is easier because the internet protects you in a way. You can just easily block them and sever all connections by logging out. You can't do that in real life. Isn't the nervous thing part of love? That's the beauty of it. You get blinded by emotions. On the internet? loveissoplausibleIt's fake. You feed yourself what you want to hear. You recycle the messages back from a person typing to you. Ultimately, you are the person that is reading and understanding the text that the other person writes. Who doesn't want to be loved? You can't hurt yourself by saying you don't love yourself anymore. It's all jokes.

Posted by: MoogleSam Oct 25 2010, 10:57 AM

QUOTE(FancyGranola @ Oct 25 2010, 09:10 AM) *
QUOTE(MoogleSam @ Oct 24 2010, 05:54 AM) *
With relationships offline, the beginning is usually quite hard as the two people would probably feel nervous and worry in case they do something stupid but with online relationships you just have to worry about saying something stupid at the beginning really.

And people saying "go ask someone out in real life", that ain't how relationships work. You don't just ask someone out and they say "sure, let's be boyfriend/girlfriend and boyfriend/girlfriend". What happens is you become friends with people and you develop feelings towards a person as you get to know them better THEN you ask them out.


That's why you learn. Any asking someone out over the internet is easier because the internet protects you in a way. You can just easily block them and sever all connections by logging out. You can't do that in real life. Isn't the nervous thing part of love? That's the beauty of it. You get blinded by emotions. On the internet? loveissoplausibleIt's fake. You feed yourself what you want to hear. You recycle the messages back from a person typing to you. Ultimately, you are the person that is reading and understanding the text that the other person writes. Who doesn't want to be loved? You can't hurt yourself by saying you don't love yourself anymore. It's all jokes.


The nervous thing, I would say, probably ruins more chances at relationships than it should. If you think about it, if you are already shy in real life, like me, then if you add feelings of nervousness, you've basically got a statue. Statues can't really ask people anything, or speak, or move. This then causes people to be left sitting in a shell while the person they like is taken by someone more out going.

It is hard to change your personality so if you are naturally shy, it is hard to gain confidence and therefore, nearly impossible to ask anyone out and easy to ignore.

On the internet you CAN fall in love but, it would probably take longer as you don't get to spend quality time together or do anything together that involves physical contact. They can still offer words of comfort, they can still talk to you, they can still email cute pictures, they can still phone you if you give them your number, they can still do all non-physical things with you that a person next door to you could do. Hell, they can even play video games with you if the game allows you to play with people online. Of course you could see them on MSN if you have a webcam or Skype so it is possible to see them easily if they have a webcam and you can do the same.

You've got to be logical though, otherwise you could end up raped, murdered, or just heartbroken. :/

Posted by: EndlessAutumn Oct 25 2010, 11:12 AM

I know a few couples who started dating online... and are now living and married together.

I guess it depends partially on age and maturity. There's certainly a wider selection to draw from.

Posted by: Rich Boy Oct 25 2010, 02:09 PM

As much as I love technology and all, I think there's just some things you should never replace a physical medium with an electronic one... Dating being one of them. I know of success stories and all, but the overall odds are severely stacked against you, ya know?

Posted by: FancyGranola Oct 25 2010, 11:11 PM

I just feel that there is a certain lameness in the fact that you need to use the internet as a medium. Shyness is not easy to over come. And if you ask a guy/girl out, the only thing you get is rejection. There are tons of fish out there to fry. You got to start from somewhere. But the internet gives a warped image of what love it. The internet makes it too easy. Go out, hang out with friends, get to know others. I think that is the way to start, the only way to start. If we rely on the internet was a resource for love, you've let yourself down by relying on a crutch.

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