Returning...sort of. |
Sep 6 2015, 04:54 PM
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#1
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Prepare yourself. Group: +Donors Posts: 123 Joined: 1-July 09 From: Pennsylvania Member No.: 40 898 Favorite Pokemon |
I haven't been very active here or the GPX lately, but I'm going to try to be again now. I logged in occasionally since I was still on that Arceus exploration, but other than that, I kind of vanished for awhile. I suppose I just kinda needed a break, but then I ended up being gone longer than I intended because a terrible family tragedy struck...
I found my brother dead in my parents' room, blood everywhere... At first, I thought he had a horrible accident and fell and hit his head, but then I saw the gun in his hand. My stepdad owns a few guns for protection. My brother had committed suicide. And I had to see the aftermath. I'm healing well, but I was left traumatized. I can't open a bedroom door without being scared and trembling. I'm always afraid of going to sleep at night because I fear I might have a nightmare (hasn't happened yet, surprisingly, but that's a good thing). The hardest parts (the funeral and all) are over and such, but it left us kind of busy for awhile. Staying in hotels, making plans to renovate our house, etc. I'm in a more permanent living space now though (an apartment for six months), so I can be more active again. There were no signs or anything that my brother was depressed or suicidal. We're still in shock. I worry most about my mom. Her dad died young, her uncle died young, her mom died two years ago and she was only 65 herself (she had cancer), and now she's lost a child. Namely the only child she had with my stepfather. She's said that she's trying to be strong for me and the rest of the family though. And damn, she is strong. I still worry about her, but not a whole lot because I see that strength. I'm trying to be strong too. Thankfully, we have a lot of awesome people around us to help. It's helped a lot. I've started getting counseling as well. But people, suicide is never the answer. Don't do it. It may heal your pain, but it will cause others to suffer their own. There are people who care and people who will help you rid you of your pain without having to take a gun to your head and mentally scarring whoever finds your corpse. This post has been edited by Kelleo: Sep 6 2015, 04:55 PM -------------------- My art thread. Click on my eggs and Pokemon and I may click yours too. ^^ And don't forget, Keldeo is the most adorable pony Pokemon ever. |
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Sep 6 2015, 05:20 PM
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#2
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The Blue Comet Group: Global Moderators Posts: 1 949 Joined: 17-April 10 From: Ireland Member No.: 93 314 snappers |
I feel like this thread could use a trigger warning, even though they're much-mocked nowadays. I certainly didn't expect to find in here what I did. That said, I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother, and I hope you start to feel better again sooner, rather than later.
Oh yeah, and welcome back. -------------------- |
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Sep 6 2015, 05:37 PM
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#3
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Prepare yourself. Group: +Donors Posts: 123 Joined: 1-July 09 From: Pennsylvania Member No.: 40 898 Favorite Pokemon |
Trigger warning? I'm not sure what you mean...
But thank you, I am slowly feeling better. The healing process is gradual, after all. -------------------- My art thread. Click on my eggs and Pokemon and I may click yours too. ^^ And don't forget, Keldeo is the most adorable pony Pokemon ever. |
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Sep 6 2015, 05:57 PM
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#4
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The Blue Comet Group: Global Moderators Posts: 1 949 Joined: 17-April 10 From: Ireland Member No.: 93 314 snappers |
Trigger warning? I'm not sure what you mean... Just to warn anyone coming into the thread that suicide is mentioned, in case they've had a traumatic experience with it (like you have) and don't want to be reminded of it. I wouldn't bring it up except that your description is a little bit graphic, so it could be distressing maybe. -------------------- |
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Sep 6 2015, 06:51 PM
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#5
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Prepare yourself. Group: +Donors Posts: 123 Joined: 1-July 09 From: Pennsylvania Member No.: 40 898 Favorite Pokemon |
Oh, I see. That might be a good idea then. I apologize.
-------------------- My art thread. Click on my eggs and Pokemon and I may click yours too. ^^ And don't forget, Keldeo is the most adorable pony Pokemon ever. |
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Sep 7 2015, 02:10 AM
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#6
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i need something to put here Group: Advisors Posts: 3 902 Joined: 2-July 07 From: Ellicott City, Maryland Member No.: 34 Active Squad |
Hey Ana, welcome back.
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Sep 7 2015, 09:25 AM
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#7
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Prepare yourself. Group: +Donors Posts: 123 Joined: 1-July 09 From: Pennsylvania Member No.: 40 898 Favorite Pokemon |
Ah, Lord Raven, I forgot you were here too. Thanks. And those wondering why he didn't say anything about the rest of my post, he already knew about it and commented at another forum. Just to clarify.
-------------------- My art thread. Click on my eggs and Pokemon and I may click yours too. ^^ And don't forget, Keldeo is the most adorable pony Pokemon ever. |
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