[X] My Assistant

[ChocolateVanilla]

I searched the Debate Forum to make sure no one has started this before. And no, I am not talking about things like E-Harmony.

What I am referring to has probably been noticed by almost everyone who visits a forum often. When a guy and a girl meet, and realize they are the same age, they have a high chance of... coupling off. In real life, its very common, and accepted by most people.

But what about online, with someone you met on a forum? Would you ever put yourself in a relationship with a person who you have never seen before?

Personally, my two cents would be a big fat NO. Its one thing to make friends that you would want to get to know in real life, but I think going as far as saying you are "dating" is jumping the gun. You wouldn't be able to tell their little habits and twitches, and would have a very limited view of the person. Also, its easier to hide parts of yourself that you do not like.

But, just so no one feels I am trying to stop teenage hormones, I do know some people that are generally happier now that they have an online "crush." It is harder to get hurt, and you probably won't get sick of each other (You never see each other, so how can you get sick?)

So, what do you people think? Is online dating worth it?

[Wishful Jirachi]

Honestly it isn't worth it but at least your accepted for your personality not looks.

[NeonGrace]

I searched the Debate Forum to make sure no one has started this before. And no, I am not talking about things like E-Harmony.

What I am referring to has probably been noticed by almost everyone who visits a forum often. When a guy and a girl meet, and realize they are the same age, they have a high chance of... coupling off. In real life, its very common, and accepted by most people.

But what about online, with someone you met on a forum? Would you ever put yourself in a relationship with a person who you have never seen before?

Personally, my two cents would be a big fat NO. Its one thing to make friends that you would want to get to know in real life, but I think going as far as saying you are "dating" is jumping the gun. You wouldn't be able to tell their little habits and twitches, and would have a very limited view of the person. Also, its easier to hide parts of yourself that you do not like.

But, just so no one feels I am trying to stop teenage hormones, I do know some people that are generally happier now that they have an online "crush." It is harder to get hurt, and you probably won't get sick of each other (You never see each other, so how can you get sick?)

So, what do you people think? Is online dating worth it?

I took a browse around a site named ROBLOX, (Kids website.)
Why? My friends little sister told me to take a look.
These males it seems, Brats, go on and ask: I need a gf. Or, your hot. lets go out.

Sad. Really. Sad.

MORE THEN HALF boys do that on ROBLOX.

Some girls, too.
I dont go on anymore.

People say if you get caught you get ban for 18 days.
I still see alot out there, though. :/

[TTD]

It isn't worth it at all. The "dating" turns into "can I see you in real life soon?" and questions too personal to answer. In short, there will be a downfall in the relationship and there are more negatives than positives.

[Shadow Dragon]

Felt like I should put my, ah, two cents in.

To me, the kind of online 'dating' you speak of is, well, horrid. But, sadly, teens and some kids do that these days. Sometimes, I think its just so they can be 'cool' because they have a 'boyfriend/girlfriend'

Sadly, this never works out.
If person A were to just meet person B online, and then they became you-know-what. But, they hardly even know each other. Hell, I bet they don't even know each others names.

I'm not saying I'm fully against it, just being like that does not work out. Maybe, in some cases, you would met online. Then, start talking to each other. Then, maybe after a period of time, you and the other person would be a couple. Maybe, a bit after then, start dating in some form.
But, what I am against it how kids these days, ah, 'jump the gun' at this boyfriend/girlfriend shit. I bet they aren't even ready for it.

Come to think of it, I experimented with this twice. The one time I gave out a fake description of myself. The other was like what was said here.
After a while with the second, I crushed the poor guy's heart by logging off

Back to all seriousness, this just shows how kids these days get into relationships all to fast, all headfirst. They don't know what might happen if they do so. They think that having a girlfriend/boyfriend will make they more cool, as I say. Sadly, this never works. Sometimes, if you do so wrong, a child may end up raped or killed by their foolishness.

Pitiful world, ain't it?

[Handmaid]

Personally, my two cents would be a big fat NO. Its one thing to make friends that you would want to get to know in real life, but I think going as far as saying you are "dating" is jumping the gun. You wouldn't be able to tell their little habits and twitches, and would have a very limited view of the person. Also, its easier to hide parts of yourself that you do not like.

Bear in mind this can also apply to friendships, so that's a moot point.

To me, it largely depends on intention; if you join a forum or actively look for a relationship online then you're usually asking for something to go wrong.

Another thing I think comes into it is maturity and general intelligence and common sense, as most teenagers are largely hormone driven, irrational and lack basic common sense, and they take emotional falls that can result from relationships (either online or offline) harder than those who are more mature.

But, what I am against it how kids these days, ah, 'jump the gun' at this boyfriend/girlfriend shit. I bet they aren't even ready for it.

This, basically.

[Pokii]

I'm liking it so far





But yeah, "don't jump the gun" and all that. You obviously (and I say obviously but so few people realize this) need to have a mature mindset to build a lasting relationship, and relationships of any kind (online or not) require lots of time, dedication, and communication. As long as you've got the basics down, I don't think where you meet the other person matters that much...relationships will last or fail depending on a plethora of different factors, but I don't think online relationships should all be completely shot down just because you've never met them in person. In fact, that's the next step of the relationship. And if that doesn't work out, then it was just one of those many factors I mentioned earlier that wouldn't have worked whether you'd met them online or a the coffee shop.

[Nivbird]

I've been in a long distance relationship and think that there is no such thing as dating online in my opinion. As long as I can't see the person in real life, I'll only consider them online friends, no matter how much I like them, and won't fall in love with them, period.

It is definitely problematic if the other side thinks you are dating when you're not

This post has been edited by lightbird: Jul 3 2010, 11:35 AM

[Yamper]

Tbh... I met my boyfriend off some chat site...

He was someone's ex and everything else. We just spoke to each other as friends and he became someone to talk to. None of those bullshitters who you tell stuff to and they go running off to tell people about it

So yeah, I met him and we just went to the cinema with friends of mine and everything. Yet he felt more than friends towards me... which I didn't know about until he blurted it out
But before all that happened, there kinda WAS some indication of him liking me... he was talking to a friend of mine and me at the same time... talking about his ex. He was all all revealing everything to my friend yet not to me... just all nicey nicey smileys and everything...

So yeah idk how you see it as. Personally I think it's alright... as long as you know the person well enough etc. No point going into a relationship if it's only been like 3 days or whatever. Cos that's just desperate and pathetic.


This is how I define online dating btw xD

This post has been edited by Samoo: Jul 3 2010, 12:17 PM

[AxM]

I met my girlfriend online. I think the only way it would work is if you lived remotely close and could visit each other every few months. We had known each other for more than a year and didn't know if it would work but both of us liked each other too much. We call each other on the phone a lot, neither of call each other by a username and we're friends with each other's friends. Plus if we're still going out after a year and a half, we plan on living together.

So I think it'll work.

This post has been edited by Drifter: Jul 3 2010, 09:45 PM

[SheJ]

I am all for online dating. As a matter of fact my current boyfriend and I are in an online relationship. I met him on an online social networking avatar site. We became very close friends over a span of two years. He and I ended up getting together after that. It was sort of a natural progression I feel. I know exactly what he looks like and he knows what I look like. We share photos back and forth all the time. We also talk on the phone nearly everyday. If it isn't every day it is every other day. My mom knows about him and has not only talked to him but his mother as well. Not to mention his mother also knows. I plan on going to meet him in person sometime soon and my mom will go with me. I consider us in a relationship and so does he. My mom even considers it a real relationship. I feel as long as you get to know the person, have seen MULTIPLE pictures of them, heard their voice, had them talk to your family member/their family member, and both families are okay with it then the online dating is totally fine.

I believe you really need to take the proper precautions and steps to have online dating be okay and safe. If you do take those proper steps then there is no problem in my mind at all.

[Picanco]

I believe you really need to take the proper precautions and steps to have online dating be okay and safe. If you do take those proper steps then there is no problem in my mind at all.

Agreed. You do have to take those steps though, or you could get in deep trouble. I have a family member that met her husband online. Everything seemed to be going okay, and then he just changed. He abused her, both physically and verbally, and we had to get her out of the situation. I think that if they had gotten to know each other in person she would've seen how he truly was. Also, both online and off, don't be so blind in your love not to notice little warning signs like rage that has no real reason. The biggest thing in online dating is when you see your date in person, always make sure it's somewhere public, and bring someone along with you. It's easy for people to pretend to be someone they aren't.

That's my two cents.

[Dazmi]

I am fine with online dating, as long as you develop a healthy relationship with someone outside of the computer at some point. Hell, buying a webcam would do. The reason I say this is because it can very difficult to examine emotion when you're talking to someone through text, and it's also very easy to pretend to be someone else through text. Relationships built through lies and a painted on smile is a poor relationship at best.

This post has been edited by JohnRichard1991: Jul 14 2010, 04:51 PM

[Dreexpuppy]

I personally wouldn't do it, but hey it may work for other people. :0

[Annakyoyama358]

I am fine with online dating, as long as you develop a healthy relationship with someone outside of the computer at some point. Hell, buying a webcam would do. The reason I say this is because it can very difficult to examine emotion when you're talking to someone through text, and it's also very easy to pretend to be someone else through text. Relationships built through lies and a painted on smile is a poor relationship at best.

Webcams can be faked. Trust me, I know several people who get their kicks from screwing with ppl on chatroulette

[SheJ]

I am fine with online dating, as long as you develop a healthy relationship with someone outside of the computer at some point. Hell, buying a webcam would do. The reason I say this is because it can very difficult to examine emotion when you're talking to someone through text, and it's also very easy to pretend to be someone else through text. Relationships built through lies and a painted on smile is a poor relationship at best.

Webcams can be faked. Trust me, I know several people who get their kicks from screwing with ppl on chatroulette

That's why I'm a person who advocates for using cameras. They have built-in time stamps on them and if they're your image it will show what camera it was taken from and when. You can't fake it cause it's an ingrained data that is hard to access to my knowledge. Time-stamps can be faked on an image but even time-stamps are hard to fake too. It's not hard to fake a webcam like you said.

[Zero Gravity]

I tried it online, its horrible, and your in constant doubt about your boyfriend/girlfriend.

It may have just been my experiences, but in all honesty, not worth it in my opinion.
Also mainly because I had 2 bad experiences (betrayals) and i just have ill faith in relationships

[Natsume Reiko]

It all really depends. Maturity has a lot of play in it surprisingly enough and the willingness to be in contact ect ect.

I met my boyfriend online and we're currently living together. We've been together for about 3-4 years now. A long time for something that started as an online friendship that turned into something more. He lived in Indiana at the time and I lived in Seattle. That's 2200 miles apart. A huge lot. It mostly helped that we were both in college and generally around the same age [Steven was about 22 and I was about 19] so to speak since that's usually the age that teenage drama has settled down and you're getting serious about your future and the like.

I know plenty of couples that have met online and are perfectly happy with each other. Some people even meet once a month or whatnot and the like. Steven and I really couldn't do that since I was constantly busy with work and he finishing up with his college degree. However we made that up by constantly talking on the phone, texting each other and then getting on skype a lot. Communication goes a long way in a relationship.

The amount of communication we do is a healthy factor in the relationship and this is my healthiest relationship to date and I very much am glad that I met Steven. Sure he may not be that great looking but most great looking guys that I've run into in real life are complete assholes. It's all up to you as an individual to take that risk and sometimes it really pays off in the end.

I took that risk and I have to say that I am so much happier for it. Life's a gamble, sometimes you win some sometimes you lose some. Either way you learn something from it.

[Lacrymosa]

It's not something I have experienced, but I got close to it, and been close to people who were in online relationships. It's a very horrible thing unless the two people meet in real life.. My former closest friend was in such a relationship for two years, and she became a really, really sad and emotional person in those two years. Both sides harmed each other more than they made each other happy, Sure, they were happy, but only until a point.

You literally freak out when you don't see your partner online for a long time, if something happens to them, you won't be able to know, or even help.. it's such a horrible feeling. All you do is worry, worry and worry about them. I remember my friend being very emotional over just missing/being worried about her boyfriend. And when you ask what's wrong, she'd say that she's missing him most of the time. It was eating her from inside. She'd also been very unhappy and hopeless over her partner being sick, cause she was unable to do anything. And stuffffff..

There's also a major trust problem. Your partner might be two timing, and since it's the internet, you might never know anything about it.. that's pathetic. I'm never recommending it to anybody.

[bijoukaiba]

I actually had a relationship online with a guy I met in an online chatroom about Full Metal Alchemist. We were in this relationship for over a year, he was there for me after rough days in high school (I was about 15-16), and even though we both never told each other where we lived (for both of our securities) or anything like that, I honestly felt very loved during that point in my life. Online or not, it was the closest I had ever been to having a boyfriend (aside from a date I went on at age 17), and it really felt good to me. The thought that he might have just been an old man in 'disguise' does bother me (and again, this goes back to the 'never talking about where we live' thing), but I do believe he was my age or slightly older and he genuinely cared for me. It's been almost 3-4 years since I last spoke to him, but I really liked the time we spent together.

Of course, now that I'm in college, I would love a boyfriend I can see in real life more than anything.