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Sexuality
Viola
post Sep 11 2009, 02:30 AM
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QUOTE(Zoreta @ Jul 16 2009, 05:42 PM) *
On the bisexual thing- In my opinion, it is not a case of, "I'll be bi so I get more sex"

There is a spectrum of hetero <------> bi <------> homo, and it is really like a probability chart.
Let's say there is a man who is bi, mostly hetero. They would be more likely that there chosen partner is female, but there is also a small chance they'll have a male partner.
If said man had five relationships over the course of several years, chances are most of them would be women (3-4), but a couple of men also (1-2).


I think that explains my situation fairly well. XD

I normally label myself 'lesbian', just to cut down on the confusion, but I'm more bisexual (or pansexual, but that isn't too much the issue here). When I say 'bisexual', I find a lot of guys drooling over me and saying, "Can I watch you with another girl?" Besides being immature, it's very disrespectful. 'Bisexual' does not automatically mean 'loose' and the tendency of some people's thoughts to infer that is a bit annoying. I also find, labeling myself as 'lesbian' gets a lot of "yeah, righttttt" type reactions. I don't really know why the people I meet tend to do that.

At any rate, I am a bisexual, technically. I prefer female partners and the majority of the people I have dated (short and long term) have been female, though I have dated some males. I am not attracted specifically more to males or females, in a physical sense. There are attributes of both sexes I find appealing. And, it is not that I like both 'masculine' females and males or both 'feminine' males and females. I prefer fairly 'masculine' males (strong build, ect.) and 'feminine' females. I tend toward relationships with females, I think, purely for reasons of personality.

I find, when I look at everyone I have dated (male and female), I find certain personality traits I like. I find that they all are, in some ways, alike. However, the caring, gentleness, companionship, and sensitivity that I seek out is generally easier to find among females than it is males, which may account for my preference. I go into a relationship looking for something lasting, that would be stable and possibly permanent and many males don't quite seem to view things this way.

Being honest, though, it takes a great deal to make me want to be in a relationship with a male. He has to be amazing. My standards for females (sad to say XD ) are somewhat more flexible. I really couldn't tell you why that is. XD Except perhaps I have more female friends and get to know more females, and a person's personality is the main drawing factor for me. Perhaps it is because girls are more emotionally open and affectionate. One, all, none of these reasons, maybe? Not that figuring it out really matters to me at this point in my life. I was open to all possibilities (genders, races) and I let myself like who I would and I just happened to find love with a female that I can foresee lasting a lifetime. Chance, fate, whatever you call it.


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angst muffin
post Sep 12 2009, 02:02 AM
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well viola, you saved me a lot of time and energy.
although i am technically bisexual, i more or less just refer to myself as gay. i mean, i doubt i'll ever be in another relationship with a girl, but that doesnt mean i dont find them attractive. i just have ridiculously high standards.

i think we all need to drop religious texts from all debates, not just the sexuality debate. im sure its been said before, but these texts were basically all written at a time when someone would have been content with going out at night and nailing a camel. the 'rules' set down in texts like the Bible were written by a bunch of guys who were trying to restore order in society. and good for them, because it worked. but it's now the twenty-first century. you cant blindly follow the words of a bunch of people from ridiculously long ago.

i cant really say i have a problem with homophobes. i just dont let them bother me at all- its not worth my time and energy. if i have a problem with anyone it's the people that say "i dont care about gay people, just dont let me know about what goes on in privet". i mean seriously? what does that mean? does that mean they dont want to see a gay couple holding hands while casually walking done the street? or are they terrified that theyll look out the window one day and see a big old group of gay guys fucking on the front lawn?
dude i dont want to know what goes on in anyone's bedroom. for the most part, couples generally keep the details to themselves. if anything, i hear more hetro couples give the dirty details.
i mean dont get me wrong. there are always the stereotypes that give a bad rep to the rest of us. but seriously, when push comes to shove, we're all looking for the same things in life. and does it really matter if we all have different ways of expressing love?
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gretchen8642
post Oct 3 2009, 09:44 AM
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I disagree that all of the types of sexuality serve an explicit purpose.... But I find no problem with any of the three expressions of sexuality. Live and let love, I think.


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post Oct 5 2009, 07:11 AM
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i don't care who what is...

i'm hetero... i was Saturday night on a gay party xD
and that wasn't different as a party with heteros oô
(except kissing lesbians xD )


its their live, why shouldn't they love the same gender? ^^


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post Oct 13 2009, 03:31 AM
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I (clearly) don't often post here, as I'm usually posting elsewhere where threads like this are far more common, popular, and don't have quite so much drama in them. But, it's late, and I'm not at all tired, so I'm going to jump in just to have something to do.

So! I begin:

I actually don't quite fit into the sexuality spectrum presented by Wymsy, as I'm an androgyne of female biology but with decidedly dual mental tendencies. Most of my partners have been male, but at least half were effeminate or metro in appearance/style/personality. I've had female partners, and my closest friend (a female) and I have agreed that, in a perfect world, were I not in the military and neither of us were military raised, we might have gotten together. If we were opposite genders, we would have for sure.

I am a pansexual/omnisexual (however you prefer to term it), but to most people, that just seems like bisexuality. Where I live, it's easier to just let people assume that than explain the reality, because the reality makes them shun me more. Bad enough I live in the Bible belt and I'm not even vaguely religious. I like to wear men's clothing, but I have no inclination to alter my body to become a man physically; I'm comfortable as a woman.

I have a handful of friends who are homosexual, in good relationships with loving partners, and I think that's fantastic. Most of my close friends don't care about sexuality, and we all have a good time. I don't think people should be shunned just because they don't fit what American society, at least, views as 'normal'. Personally, I think our standard of 'normal' needs to be reevaluated something fierce.

Interestingly enough, out of the entire group of my friends, it is the homosexuals who are the most inclined toward wanting children. They're in the happiest relationships with the best jobs and the greatest structure, but they're afraid of any kind of move toward adopting or anything like that thanks to our 'great society'. I think it's crap that they can't get a civil union or marriage or anything like that.

One thing I do have an intense dislike for are the people who, on hearing about homosexual relations, have one of two reactions (typically based on gender; the first regarding lesbians, the second regarding gay men):
1. OMG! Can I watch? That is so hot! --- that is disrespectful. Very few people want to have someone watching them performing any intimate act.
2. GROSS! I can't stand even thinking about that kind of thing! --- that is also disrespectful. Accept and be accepted. If a male couple wants to hold hands in the street and kiss, then let them. They have to watch heterosexual couples do it all the time! Anything more intimate than that isn't anyone's business, anyway, but their own.

Anyway... rambling aside: there's nothing wrong with being heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or pansexual. It takes all sorts to make the world go 'round, and we've all got a part to play. I play mine happily enough, given my circumstances, and those circumstances will only get better, I'm sure, and my friends are happy with the way things have turned out for them, regardless of sexuality. I say, no one should shun another for being different from themselves. If they're happy the way they are, then let them be happy. 'nuff said.


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Aureylian
post Oct 13 2009, 04:10 PM
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I really don't see a problem with it. I mean, people will love who they love, they can't help it. I have friends who are gay/lesbian/bi and they are amazing people.


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Kaname Madoka
post Oct 13 2009, 10:24 PM
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I don't see sexuality as a big deal, and I'm not quite sure why so many people in the world seem to make it a staple to get involved in the private lives of others. Love is love, get used to it!
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Soda
post Oct 14 2009, 02:51 AM
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I wanna post here. awesome.gif
I'm gay, so yeah.

I go with the philosiphy that others have posted...live and let live. We can never TOTALLY follow this, or at least I can't, but it's generally a good thing to do. Some christians and other groups just can't accept this. It's annoying. Honestly I just disreguard religion and stuff in debates. I've heard it all before, now go pray or something.

I do know that being gay is not a choice once you're my age. Idk...maybe there is something you're born with but I don't think that's ALL that makes you attracted to the same sex. Influences growing up can change you~ ANYONE who thinks homosexuality is pure choice is just stupid, though. A few years ago if I could've chosen I would've been straight, but that was impossible for me. Of course now I'd rather be gay. :P But I'm not going to get into why I think being gay is best 'cause it got a little too much opinion in it. And no, I do not live in a super mega gay friendly place. I am not even out irl yet.


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TheIgDemon
post Oct 14 2009, 11:38 PM
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I live with my mom and she is absolutely against homosexuals, but my opinions differ from her by a large margin. To me, love is love, it doesn't matter who you love. And if someone finds that love in the same sex, why the hell should it matter? Love isn't the product of sex, sex is the product of love.

As for bisexuals? I used to be one, but I turned heterosexual after a while. I also had some friends who were bi. So again, no problem.

How does someone turn homo, bi, or hetero? Some are born with the natural attraction. Others, IMO, turn one way or another during their teenage years where they are just starting to explore their sexuality. It doesn't matter how you are raised, if your body is searching for a compatible mate and it finds it in the same sex or opposite sex, that is what you are going to be attracted to. (This is just my opinion btw, so don't bash...)

This post has been edited by TheIgDemon: Oct 14 2009, 11:39 PM


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GalladeKnight
post Feb 11 2010, 06:07 AM
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I'm a male heterosexual, but i'm not against anyone's choice of their sexuality.

To me everyone starts out Bi, cause it isn't until your older that you make a choice on whether you like men or women more. As a kid you just have friends, gender isn't really a big deal.

I also hate people who say others are born gay or that homosexuality is a "disease". It isn't it's a choice that is a little based on the environment of one's upbringing. I'm not exactly saying that if your raised straight or raised gay you'll end up that way, but it can influence your view a little.

Personally though, i think it is mainly natural. People pair of due to natural attraction and instincts. It isn't all about reproduction, it is also about whether this person can protect me better. Not always physical protection but more or less they have strong points you don't so together you are both stronger.


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Kon Kon Kon
post Feb 26 2010, 10:43 PM
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QUOTE(GalladeKnight @ Feb 11 2010, 06:07 AM) *
I also hate people who say others are born gay or that homosexuality is a "disease". It isn't it's a choice that is a little based on the environment of one's upbringing. I'm not exactly saying that if your raised straight or raised gay you'll end up that way, but it can influence your view a little.


I'll agree with you when you state that homosexuality being a disease is completely absurd, but I'll have to disagree with you when you say that it's a choice. Homosexuality is not a choice, seeing as how nobody would wake up one day and say: "Hey! I decide I'm going to be gay and be shunned and rejected by the homophobic community!"

It is absolutely not a choice; I know from personal experience. Without knowing what homosexuality even meant, around the age of 10 or 11, I was sexually attracted to boys, and not to girls. Most homosexuals do not make a choice in their life, as most heterosexuals did not choose to like girls. It comes naturally. That's all there is to it.


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FosterThePeople
post Feb 26 2010, 11:17 PM
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Being gay myself, I can assure you that it's not a choice. I've known I liked boys since I was 10/11, way before I knew what being gay was, and when I found out what being gay was and how many people look down on it, I tried to be straight. I tried to convince myself I liked girls. It didn't work. I'm still gay, and girls are still as unappealing to me at 16 as they were when I was 10.


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miss listliss
post Mar 6 2010, 05:02 PM
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well, i'm lesbian so of course i'm perfectly fine with homosexuality. i don't have anything against heterosexual relationships, either, they're just not for me.
i think it's perfectly natural. as long as you're happy and the person you're with is happy, what's the problem? people saying it's against some religion or something such things should really keep their noses out of other people's business.


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Song of Ice and ...
post Mar 8 2010, 08:26 PM
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I have to say I am a christian and yes in the bible it does say some stuff about a marriage being a man and a woman, but it also says that when a woman is on her period she needs to leave the "village" for that whole time (I'm paraphrasing) and that sodomy is bad (that includes oral sex), and that a woman should be submissive to a man. So there are just some things that have changed with society, and following some of the stuff in the bible is just ridiculous. I say what right do I have to judge someone else for their lifestyle, especially when some of my choices aren't exactly right according to the bible. I have many gay and lesbian friends (you wouldn't believe how many are in the military), and they are some of the best people in the world. I say do what makes you happy, as long as it isn't hurting other people.

I have a question, what does everyone think of people who are "barsexual"? Meaning that in normal everyday life, they're heterosexual, but when they get a couple of drinks in them they are making out and such with someone of the same sex. I have to admit that I'm this way. Get a couple of drinks in me, and I will make out with anyone I think is attractive. I really don't see a problem in it, unless you do it for attention, like a guy asks to girls to make out and the girls do it because they want to seem cool or something.


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Kon Kon Kon
post Mar 8 2010, 10:08 PM
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QUOTE(Song of Ice and Fire @ Mar 8 2010, 08:26 PM) *
I have to say I am a christian and yes in the bible it does say some stuff about a marriage being a man and a woman, but it also says that when a woman is on her period she needs to leave the "village" for that whole time (I'm paraphrasing) and that sodomy is bad (that includes oral sex), and that a woman should be submissive to a man. So there are just some things that have changed with society, and following some of the stuff in the bible is just ridiculous. I say what right do I have to judge someone else for their lifestyle, especially when some of my choices aren't exactly right according to the bible. I have many gay and lesbian friends (you wouldn't believe how many are in the military), and they are some of the best people in the world. I say do what makes you happy, as long as it isn't hurting other people.


THANK YOU! A Christian who doesn't condescend gays! I like it! ^ ^

QUOTE(Song of Ice and Fire @ Mar 8 2010, 08:26 PM) *
I have a question, what does everyone think of people who are "barsexual"? Meaning that in normal everyday life, they're heterosexual, but when they get a couple of drinks in them they are making out and such with someone of the same sex. I have to admit that I'm this way. Get a couple of drinks in me, and I will make out with anyone I think is attractive. I really don't see a problem in it, unless you do it for attention, like a guy asks to girls to make out and the girls do it because they want to seem cool or something.


As for this, I consider it normal. After a couple of drinks, the brain doesn't quite analyze gender -either not as fast, or not at all, at one point-, and I believe the person simply becomes temporarily pansexual (who has no bearing of gender). Do not mistake for bisexual, which is being attracted to both genders, versus not caring about gender, as long as the person is attractive. I've never drunk enough to be attracted to a girl (let alone drinking more than one glass), but that's what I've compiled, anyway. xD


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post Mar 9 2010, 03:36 AM
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I'm completely okay with all these. I know few that are either bi or gay, and they are great people. Only the gay boys being too girly, which kind of scared me at first.

But I've found some bi girls annoying with their attention seeking, like my school friend. She can't get boys, which kind of made her into girls. She was talking about her 'girlfriend' a lot, but now she's after boys again. She just can't decide already.

But; people should accept others the way they are.
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post Mar 9 2010, 05:57 PM
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The way I see it, I don't think it makes a difference. Somone tells me somthing that some people kill over( seriously, a guy in Puerto-Rico got killed cuz he was gay) and I respond "So? What difference does it really make?" I even wrote an essay in academic extentions on this topic and won an essay contest and $50 by proving it really doesn't make a difference


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post Apr 1 2010, 02:23 PM
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QUOTE(ValkohomeJuusto @ Mar 9 2010, 09:36 AM) *
I'm completely okay with all these. I know few that are either bi or gay, and they are great people. Only the gay boys being too girly, which kind of scared me at first.

But I've found some bi girls annoying with their attention seeking, like my school friend. She can't get boys, which kind of made her into girls. She was talking about her 'girlfriend' a lot, but now she's after boys again. She just can't decide already.

But; people should accept others the way they are.


I argee that girly gays are annoying and thus I choose not to date them. I dont find Bi girls attenton seeking but I havent dated one or any girl in nearly 3 years.

Im bisexual and proud of it. But im lucky to live in a place where my sexualty is understood and accetped.

But to fiar my last 3 partners where guys and I enjoyed it and Im happy to be a bisexual.

Oh and all you peeps that think bisexual is bullshit for those who cant admit they gay its not your not me dont cliam understanding of my sexualty


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RoyalDemon
post May 14 2011, 02:19 PM
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I'm a female heterosexual and, omg, Christian.

I have nothing against homosexuality or bisexuality.Love is love, it happens and you can't control it.Nobody can tell you, that you musn't or must love a person.Well, they can, but that doesn't mean your feelings for the person you love will change.

And persons who say, they're something they aren't (for example bisexual if they are heterosexual) are annoying.They only want attention, and have found a stupid way to get it.

That's my opinion.Sorry if my English isn't the best.


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post May 29 2011, 06:52 AM
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Maybe its just wrong wording when people describe homosexuality and bisexuality as a choice, but that seems to be reflected upon those people with non-heterosexual orientations. So, only people with non-hetero orientations are the ones who choose to be different? Why don't we look upon a heterosexual making the "choice" to suddenly date the same sex. That concept is why homosexuality is seen as "abnormal," and maybe because its not traditional, but life keeps on changing.

But is the world going to ever be completely open minded over this? In the United States alone, the rights of homosexuals is looked down upon, for several reasons. But why? Why do people who have to suffer for their something defines ourselves? Anyways, sometimes I would think back and wonder if environment had any role to play in sexuality. I myself am gay and I did find myself attracted to guys at a young age, but things in my environment promoted it, yet society made it miserable for me up until my last years in high school where I finally was ready to take on the world.

My family... haha. Hardcore catholics. You know, almost the kind that see poop as concentrated evil. Not really that bad, but you get the idea :P I never knew growing up that my aunt in my immediate family was a lesbian until I was able to put 2 and 2 together later on. Out of anyone who supports my endeavors, is my aunt and uncle (her brother) The rest of my family just looks the other way.

So, with experiences like this, you dont have much control over your sexual preference than you do your greatest fear. I don't choose to be afraid of earthquakes, I just do. If this WERE a matter of choice, then yes, I choose to be happy. happy.gif


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