[X] My Assistant

[Rainbowtalon]

Name: Rainbow Juniper

Age: 11 and 5 months

Hometown: New Bark Town

Appearance: Rainbow's hair is long, straight and golden. Her skin is slightly tanned and her eyes are the same colour as her hair. She wears a long frilly white skirt and a light pink shirt. She is 81 pounds and 4 feet 9 inches tall. She is always seen with her Pidgey. She doesn't wear any makeup at all. Rainbow has a backpack which is very organized. That is where she keeps her berries, potions and poke balls.

Personality: Rainbow is usually calm. She hates to fight, and is very nice normally. When she's having a battle, she tells her Pokemon that they'll do great. She doesn't mind if her Pokemon want her to play with them. Rainbow only gets mad if someone actually hurts one of her Pokemon, not like in battles. When she's mad, she will scream at the attacker so much that they stop attacking. When they leave, she comforts whoever has been hurt. She is very friendly to everyone. She is interested in Pokeathlons because in them, you can train Pokemon without them getting hurt. She sometimes cries about not having her parents.

Biography: Right after Rainbow was born, there was a earthquake. She was the only survivor in the building. She woke up in the Pokemon Center with a Chansey beside her. The Chansey helped her until she was old enough to learn to walk. When she was three years old, she saw a Pidgey foraging in the grass. Rainbow and Chansey ran over to it. Pidgey chirped happily. It decided to go with this young girl. Later, she was taught to read, write, talk and do other human things by a retired teacher somewhere. It started to rain, but when it stopped, the teacher said, "Look! It's a rainbow!" Rainbow thought he was referring to her and thought it was her name and always used it. Then she went to the Pokeathlon Dome to enter. She was interested because she had heard of battles, and did not like the idea of letting the little Pidgey get hurt. Pokeathlons were much better for her because she could train without letting her Pokemon get hurt. When she turned 10, Chansey was stolen by an evil team called Team Rocket. Rainbow didn't try to rescue Chansey because she was too scared to go after the team. Later, after Pidgey had calmed her down, Rainbow adopted a Chikorita from Professor Elm. She also caught a Spearow some time later. She saw that there was a ship sailing to Furoh, so she went on it. She finally arrived two months later.

Class: Rainbow is a Pokeathlete.

Starting Pokemon:

Level 7
Level 2
Level 5

Items:

10 Cheri Berries
10 Rawst Berries
10 Aspear Berries
10 Pecha Berries
10 Chesto Berries
10 Sitrus Berries

[Kamaitachi]

I have a few problems with this profile.

How does the sunlight make one's hair appear rainbow coloured? This is a little beyond me.

Why are you mixing standard and metric systems? 37 kilos is roughly 81 pounds.

"If her Pokemon get hurt, she gives them a berry" isn't really a personality trait. Naturally, if she loses, she should take her pokemon to the pokemon center. It seems only natural for a trainer to do so.

How does she intimidate attackers? She's 11 years old, and fairly small.

So, for personality, please take out her routines (feeding berries, pokemon center trips, etc), and try to flesh it out a little more. We get that she's organized from her appearance, perhaps that could make an appearance in her Personality section as well. Does she like reading? Does she like traveling? Why is she interested in Pokeathlons? How does she feel about not having her parents while growing up?

As for the biography...I'm incredibly skeptical. I'll put it out in bullet format:

• If she was raised by a Chansey, how did she learn to talk? Surely someone would've adopted the child or put her in an orphanage, rather than raise her in a pokemon center.
• Who named her Rainbow? Did her parents name her? If so, how did she know? She was the only survivor in the hospital.
• Was she three or five when she befriended Pidgey? How did she catch Pidgey?
• The evil Team better not be Team Deception, because I doubt they'd go all the way to Johto. So, which evil team stole Chansey, and why didn't Rainbow try to rescue Chansey?
• Where did she adopt Chikorita and Ralts from? Chikorita is a rare pokemon, even in Johto, and Ralts is native to Hoenn.
• Why did she choose to be a pokeathlete?
• How did she end up in Furoh, where the entirety of Pokemon: A New Era, takes place?

All in all, this profile could use a lot more fleshing out. Feel free to peruse the other trainer profiles in the "Accepted Profile" sub-forum. I would read a few before editing your own.

[Rainbowtalon]

Oops. I thought Ralts was a Johto Pokemon. I better fix my whole profile...

[Kamaitachi]

The appearance and personality sections are fine by me. However, the biography is still not ready yet. It lacks detail in these very important events in Rainbow's life.

For instance: How did she meet Professor Elm? Who was this mysterious mystery teacher who took her in so easily? "Somewhere" is really not an acceptable answer in my book, simply because it shows a lack of thought.

I'm surprised that the teacher didn't call her anything before "Rainbow" appeared as the name. I understand that this is what you desire your character's name to be, but I'm sure there's a more detailed way of going about this. It all seems rather happenstance.

Does Rainbow know why Team Rocket stole her Chansey friend? Where did she live this whole time as an orphan.

We now know how she ended up in Furoh, but why did she decide to board the ship to go there at the tender age of 11?

Now, your pokemon statistics could have more detail. Look at a few other people's profiles. Typically, they show the Pokemon, Level, gender, nature, movelist, parentage, etc. I know you're going for Pokeathlete, but these things will still be good to know. Battles are still very prevalent in Furoh, so you will at least need to know what moves the pokemon learn. Remener: They are not limited to four moves. They know all the moves up until their current level.

Please continue to work on this profile. A good deal more detail and you should be good to go.

PS: Minor detail: She's not 81 kilos. That's super fat.