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Second Characters Application, Want one?
Toogee
post May 1 2011, 09:46 AM
Post #21


Weak Livered Milk Drinker
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And a Golurk



Sorry, but you will likely need to rewrite both entries. Alex's entry is a simple synopsis of events. It tells me nothing about who he is and his personality. The same goes for Zach. You tell us about cutting down trees, a jittery teacher, and a bunch of scared students. THere's barely anything on Zach. As far as I can tell, he's Alex with some sort of mental illness and/or asthma.

Spend some time figuring out how these two are different (character-wise). Then compose a scenario that will emphasize these differences. Try to put them both in the same scenario (both are waking up, both are starting their journey for the first time, etc). That should help show how the two are different. wink.gif


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Yzarc Drowsnam
post May 26 2011, 10:42 PM
Post #22


Omar comin'
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PANE





Scenario: Bowling Date

Justin Smart (click to show)


Jill Laurent (click to show)


This post has been edited by Yzarc Drowsnam: May 26 2011, 10:59 PM


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Currently In: Interception!
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Kamaitachi
post May 26 2011, 10:59 PM
Post #23


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



J'approve! Post a profile in the thread for approval round 2!


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switzerIand
post Jun 28 2011, 12:09 PM
Post #24


Gym Leader
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Hunter's Party



Never Eat Boardwalk Nachos: 11/15
The Wild Chills and Thrills of the Safari: 12/15

Scenario: First day at a new school.

Jasmine Reed (click to show)


Zach Schmidt (click to show)


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Kamaitachi
post Jun 28 2011, 01:38 PM
Post #25


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



Approved. Post your profile for step 2!


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Dragonwish2
post Jun 28 2011, 04:45 PM
Post #26


Take a story and craft it well...
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Never Eat Boardwalk Nachos: 10/15
The Wild Chills and Thrills of the Safari: 12/15

Scenario: A day at the Beach

Elizabeth (Liz) Nadira Shir (click to show)


Hailey Pierce (click to show)


This post has been edited by Dragonwish2: Jun 29 2011, 02:34 PM


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Kamaitachi
post Jun 30 2011, 12:00 AM
Post #27


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



Dragonwish,

You don't really show us any palpable difference in personalities. What you've done is basically given a list of tasks that Elizabeth and Hailey would do if they found themselves alone on a beach. There is some minor, inferred personality difference in say, their attire and the means in which they acquired them, but other than that, the two are not that different.

I'll give you one chance to re-write these, with these adjustments in mind. Try to show us some thought processes, or even different reactions to similar conditions.


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SaphireShadows
post Jun 30 2011, 12:43 PM
Post #28


It's a Diiiinosaurus Line!
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Christine Tennebraum
Boat Rockers 13/15
20,000 Corsola Under the Sea 14/15
Scenario: Stuck in a bar in a downpour


Twila Reanne (click to show)


Christine Tennebraum (click to show)



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Kamaitachi
post Jun 30 2011, 03:48 PM
Post #29


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



Approved. Post a character profile in the profiles for second round verification!


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Dragonwish2
post Jul 10 2011, 02:28 PM
Post #30


Take a story and craft it well...
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Never Eat Boardwalk Nachos: 10/15
The Wild Chills and Thrills of the Safari: 12/15

Scenario: Shopping at a book store.

Elizabeth (Liz) Nadira Shir (click to show)


Hailey Pierce (click to show)


I rewrote them, since I don't think the situation showed their major differences very well. Enjoy!


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Toogee
post Jul 10 2011, 05:29 PM
Post #31


Weak Livered Milk Drinker
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Approved. Post the profile.


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Angels Fall Firs...
post Jul 25 2011, 03:45 PM
Post #32


the Wisconsinite
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Active Squad



Angels Fall First's Second Character Application:

Going Bovine : +13/15
On the Edge of the Ocean : +12/15


Scenario: Rescuing a Skitty from a tree.

Finn Oakley (click to show)

~

Liam West (click to show)


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Kamaitachi
post Jul 25 2011, 08:32 PM
Post #33


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



Accepted. Post the new profile in the profile thread for step two!

Also, mind you, be careful of changing pronouns when dealing with pokemon. For Kyla, you switched between the female "she" and the neutral "it". I have this problem too, or else I wouldn't have noticed.


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Rasu
post Sep 5 2011, 04:55 PM
Post #34


Get-A-Load-Of-This-Guy Cam
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Finally got around to do this, even though it's probably gonna get rejected. :P Worth a shot.

Scenario: Recovering from an accident.

Tyson Ealdwine (click to show)

Royce Strife (click to show)


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Kamaitachi
post Sep 5 2011, 05:18 PM
Post #35


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



I'm just the slightest bit iffy on this. The situations are...similar. They're both, as you say, recovering from an accident. On the one hand, those accidents are very different. Breaking one's arm is a bit more commonplace than being torn apart by a Drapion. However, I'll give you credit insofar as there is a bit of personality difference between the two. However, I've read enough of your stuff to know what Tyson is like as a character, and I can see that Royce Strife is different, even if you didn't do a stellar job here of proving it.

This is a very shaky approval, but approval all the same.

Go ahead and post your character profile for the second round of approval.


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Aureylian
post Dec 20 2011, 03:40 PM
Post #36


Lady of Time.
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This is being edited. Will make a new post when I'm finished.

This post has been edited by Ozzy: Mar 24 2012, 11:25 AM


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Toogee
post Dec 20 2011, 08:11 PM
Post #37


Weak Livered Milk Drinker
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And a Golurk



QUOTE
The first thing you must do is complete and have graded at least two (2) RPs in which you've received a 10/15 grading or higher


When I said you could use that RP for this application, I meant once it's been graded. Since it hasn't even been submitted for grading, it's not technically done.

(Since Amissa has apparently taken an extended absence without telling any of the other RP members, I would allow anyone in that storyline to submit the RP.)


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Toogee
post Jan 10 2012, 07:23 AM
Post #38


Weak Livered Milk Drinker
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The Fabulously Finicky Forests of the Fortunate Families of Fidona: 14/15
A Bonanza of Boutiques, Bazaars, and Burglary in Beautiful Barley: 12/15

In today’s second character entry, two people enter the Pokeking of Gigarte City, having a hankering for meat.

Pandora Gibbs (click to show)


Darius Dovakin (click to show)



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Kamaitachi
post Jan 10 2012, 09:55 PM
Post #39


I'm dying to see how this one ends.
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Taggarty Lee



As a vegetarian for the past 8 years, I'd say that tofu is delicious.

Tangent aside, you're approved!


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The Rose Crusade...
post Jul 8 2013, 02:13 AM
Post #40


Former GTS +PL Grass Leader
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Melinda Rose





Scenario: Going shopping

Melinda Rose (click to show)


Aaron Zephyr (click to show)


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