[X] My Assistant

[Kariya]

I say the younger the generation, the ruder they get. Not only that, there isn't much to keep them at their toes when it comes to discipline. My younger friends seems to have much more freedom than I did back in the day (that's not even that far off either). No one is really telling them what is right or wrong and their parents just don't seem to be enforcing anything upon them. However, I don't really blame the parents, I blame the kids. They have the choice to be 'goodie-goodies' but they aren't. Most of my friends are even rude in public (err... well then again, they are associated with some Asian gangs XD)... unless you are their relatives or friends...

Ehh, someone should carry a feather duster and be allowed to give a spanking or two. (Asian families... can't help but love 'em)

[Chrona]

The media has a large effect on this subject - Kids are portrayed in this way, so people notice it more. Good kids are rarely shown on the news, but if a kid shoots someone in his school it is known all over the country two hours later.

As for myself - I am now eighteen, but as a kid I showed people the type of respect they showed me. "Respect your elders" didn't apply to me if said elders were being obnoxious. For the most part though, I was a good person since others were good to me. If people were snotty to me though because I was "Some teen", I didn't waste my time trying to change their mind.

As Kariya just said, it depends on the kid and how s/he was raised.

[Darrett]

I think it's definitely a problem among most kids, but you should also notice that the nice kids are growing up in a more well-adjusted way, which gives them more ability to interact with their friends. It's really more of a question of how the good kids, who are in general more well-behaved and nicer than before, influence the bad kids. Given current trends, it's going the wrong way, but a strong youth movement akin to things like D.A.R.E. or whatever could improve the situation.

[Luxord]

my parents say im a horrible teen (im 15) ive drunk ive gotten high ive smoked yeh

i was horrible to them fro most of my life but recently(past month) ive changed wanted respect for me too

point is I always had respect for everyone else outside no matter who they were unless i had reason not to

some kids my bage just dnt no wen to stop

[Lestat]

Well kids back then were discipline more often than kids today. I don't think kids should be discipline to that extent as they did back then but parents today don't discipline enough. They arn't strict about rules. This may sound bad but kids are like dogs they technically need to be trained/taught or they will run wild.

[The Rose Crusade...]

I don't know if this is just a small town phenomenon, but where I live the effect is just the opposite. Older generations of high schoolers have been much more rowdy and non-compliant. Nowadays the kids are like silent sheep. They are herded into doing whatever the administration wants them to do and won't do anything to stop it.

Here’s an example. The administration recently installed security cameras in our high school. Here's some back-story: we have no crime in our town. At all. And we have no diversity. At all. Back in the day, my eldest brother's grade would have taken baseball bats and smashed every camera due to their outrage.

What do we do now? Half of the town doesn't even know that their students are being recorded every second of their school day, and everyone just goes with it, no one protests.

God, I really am in the wrong generation.

[Kaname Madoka]

From what I've seen, the younger generations are out of control due to many reasons. You have the lazy parents who just don't give a damn, you have parents who try to enforce discipline but aren't allowed to because spanking your kid nowadays is considered child abuse, and you certainly have the media's influence to consider. It is HUGE, and it's a very real thing.

I'm 19, and I graduated high school last June. I'm in college now, and I have to say I don't see a real significant change in behavior since I've transferred schools. There's a huge chunk of people who think they're indestructible and infallible. I know no teenager is going to be perfect. I'm certainly not. I made the personal choice of not ever drinking or using drugs because of what I've seen those substances do to my family and friends, but I was an emotional wreck and a complete asshat to my mom from age 13-16, and it's something I certainly regret.

I kind of worry, though. The world is already going to hell and people like this are going to take control of it someday.

This post has been edited by Saya: Apr 11 2009, 09:29 PM

[Daphkipz]

I do agree that children are different these days, but if you think about it. It all started with OUR parents. Our parents were pretty much teenagers around the time things started to change. 70's ish. Drugs, sex, etc.

I think it's very hypocritical for parents to get angry at us for the same things they've done. In fact, most of the adults I know have gone past the extend of kids nowadays. My father does weed to this day, and so does my mother. Hell, my oldest brother sells it to them.

Parents these days want the greatest kids with none of the work. Of course there are outside influences, but they don't seem to realize that the way they have raised their kid is the biggest impact on the decisions kids make in their life. Also, the way parents handle situations are a big impact, because basically with young kids and their parents... Monkey see, monkey do.

It's true that kids are getting worse. Attitude, sex, drugs, impatience, unappreciative... But I ultimately think that the parents of today are at fault.

[Kaname Madoka]

I agree with you in some ways, however I don't think you can place all of the blame on parents. Teenagers are (or should be) smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and a stupid decision and a smart one. I know there are exceptions, and everyone makes mistakes. However, I'm pretty sure that when it comes to large issues like drinking and driving, for example, getting behind the wheel while drunk just makes you an idiot, whether your parents taught you it was wrong or not.

My point is that there just seems to be an enormous lack of common sense between both kids and their parents these days.

This post has been edited by Saya: Apr 12 2009, 08:25 PM

[Kisshu]

It wasn't that long ago that I saw kids changing. I remember as I was growing up, every year, the younger kids kept getting worse and worse. Honestly, blame the parents. Obviously the first thing a child learns is what surrounds them, and normally it's the parent first. And teenagers, the problem with them is they were probably not mothere'd correctly. Most of the kids i grew up with, if they weren't growing in a good environment it was easy to tell.

This post has been edited by Kisshu: May 10 2009, 04:44 AM

[Solx]

Kids take things for granted because parents take things for granted - most of all their kids. I teach, I see kids who are healthy, who've probably never had a finger laid on them, who families can actually pull off the illusion of "perfect." But, absolutely shocking amounts of these kids are in grotesque states of emotional and disciplinary neglect. Nine out of ten of my problem students have been systematically ignored since the day they were weaned, assuming they weren't on formula from the start. No one played with them when they were bored, they were plopped down in front of the TV or game console. When they misbehaved? Oh, it's too much work to teach them right from wrong.

Then there's the parents that "just want to be their kid's friend." Bullshit I say! That's just being too spineless to be the bad guy. Kids do need friendly, accepting parents but they need an authority figure just as much if not more. When one of my students steps out of line, I come down on them like a ton of bricks. They hate me - for about a week. Then they modify their behavior and suddenly I'm rewarding them - a reward they actually earned. All kids need love and acceptance, but if it's shown to them for nothing, it means nothing. They're kids, if it's just handed to them unconditionally, they have no scope of how precious it is or how lucky they are. I've known a few exceptions but 99% of them can't compare themselves to a starving orphan, they can try but all but the most astute simply lack the maturity to comprehend it. Gratitude isn't inborn or natural, it needs to be learned.

What's weird is that I almost never get complaints from parents when I come down on their little angels. Some ask that I be harsher with them. I guess they just want me to do their job for them. (With the exception of one mother who I know is a hardass about discipline. Her kids are some of the best behaved and well balanced students I have.) I have one parent, her kid actually /hit/ her, hard enough for her to yelp. She did nothing about it until I snarled at the kid to do push ups and sit ups - only then did she admonish her daughter.

So we get these kids wandering around ignored, with no means of appreciating what they have, and media telling them it's edgy to be disrespectful of adults and that the only way to be happy is get more and more and more. Of course they're angry, spiteful, jaded little brats. They have these huge holes in their hearts and they don't even know why. Sometimes I come home and just lay in bed and cry for them.

But. Not to be all doomsday. Honestly I don't think this is a new phenomena - I'm pretty much convinced the ball got rolling in the 50's when the general population became more affluent and career-based. My ma grew up in pretty much the exact same conditions I'm describing, with the addition of alcoholism and siblings that liked to tie her to a tree and throw screwdrivers at her. (Of course my grandparents did nothing about it.) She went through the same angry stage - and then she got older and more mature, and now she's fine. I think largely the world will teach these kids the things their parents have failed to - if they don't learn, they'll probably end up jobless, homeless and alone. (Few want to hire or promote someone with that attitude.) You see kids in truly abusive, destitute situations still grow up to be productive and respectful. Give them a decade, society and age will temper most of them I think.

EDIT: I am the king of typos.

This post has been edited by Solx: May 11 2009, 10:58 AM

[Dys Tuvai]

Kids were little bastardy assholes in the past and kids are little bastardy assholes nowadays too. The adage that they're a cruel people is old for a reason.

Of course, not ALL of them are like that. It really depends on their upbringing. I don't think there's much of a change to be honest. >>;

[Emphyria]

To be honest I think your parents hit it on the head, especially in the United Kingdom. The generations growing up today (even my own generation to a degree) are particularly lacking in respect. They have no consideration for themselves, other people or their surroundings to the point that in certain regions vandalism and violence are common. I'm definitely not saying that these two things didn't exist years ago during my parents' days as teenagers there's been an astronomical growth in relation to this sort of behaviour.

When it comes down to placing blame though...?

It could be said that it's both the government's fault AND the parent's fault. My generation and those before me have grown up in a really heavy nanny state, you can get anything you want without working for it. Stomp a foot and the government will pay up - this means that kids don't see the need for jobs and have way too much spare time on their hands. Apply this to the accessbility of 24 hour drinking (thank you government...) and other easily accessible items and you have a huge issue with out of control kids.

Now; you would ASSUME that the police would be capable of dealing with this and disciplining the kids but unfortunately they can't. With the human rights laws getting more and more specific the police can't do a thing to them, other than wag a finger it there's little else that can be done (and I'm not joking here). These kids KNOW this and because they consider themselves invincible they're even more bolschy and inconsiderate. This is someting the state really needs to answer for but at the same time it's not solely responsible, which brings me onto the parents.

I don't know WHAT had happened to the mentality of parents in t his era as my own parents are certainly not like this. If I put a foot out of line I was disciplined, I was put in my place and I was actually afraid of my father's wrath even though he never lifted a finger (death glare go go). For some reason this level of discipline as well as the insistance on manners and etiquette is completely gone from households. Parents seem to think it's unneeded or irrelevant? I'm generalising a little bit here but from an observational stand point (and particularly in my line of work) this is what I can see.

Children are ruled by example (I believe someone brought this up earlier) and I don't see those examples being set. Parents permit their children to run around, to fight, to vandalise and there's absolutely no consequences to these acts. If parents had been more considerate and controlled their children with more set rules then some of this could have been avoided.

HOWEVER...

I'm not going to say that my parents era was a 'perfect' era. It's true that when they grew up manners, etiquette and a respect for authority was pleasant in the majority of children but there were still asswipes. On the other extreme there were also families that were far too strict and the expectations were too high.

Overall though, I would have to say that a number of factors are the cause of a rise in bratty kids. A culmination of a rising living standard (courtesy of the government) alongside governmental aid, laws that over protect criminals and failing parenting all aid in the issue. It's difficult to pin blame on one particular factor when there are many of them...


EDIT: Please note this is from an English standpoint and not an American one. I don't know how heavily affected the American system is impacted by these factors.

This post has been edited by Emphyria: May 11 2009, 06:57 PM

[ninjacookie]

I think that hitting your kids is a terrible thing to do. I was spanked with a belt growing up and while it was never enough to bruise me it still hurt a ton and I grew up fearing people and hating my parents. When I was 12 I finally had enough and attacked my dad and sent him into the hospital. The last time my mom slapped me I shattered her knee cap. Spanking never fixed my behavior, I always acted up. Now that I'm older and I haven't been hit in a long time I'm less violent but I am still incapable of trust.

Many of my friends were spanked for bad grades. They always struggled in class and never did well, not even by 12th grade. Luckily the one thing my parents never hit me for was school work and by middle school I never got anything less then a B, and always made honor role. Although I refused to go to school for one whole year due to depression.

Your children trust and rely on you, they love you. Why would you ever hurt them? They are going to grow up and become an adult. A husband, a wife, a police officer, a doctor. Due you really want them to grow up and potently abuse innocent people just because they get angry?

Teach your kids right from wrong, it may take them awhile at first but at least you can have peace of mind knowing that eventually they'll grow up into a happy, well mannered adult.

[Cassowary]

I think there are extremes. Some really bad kids, but now it's more open-minded and kids are getting to think for themselves in aspects such as religion, sexuality, etc.

[Aragos]

A child's mind is like a sponge. If they are hit by their parent they think that it's a good thing to hurt others, because their parents hurt them. This works for the better as well. If a parent is strict but gentle, and disciplines with words, as well as non-violent consequences, the child will grow up to be less hostile. The hostility of the teen can be reduced by also respecting the child in early development, without slackening your parental rule. If you respect the child, then the sponge-brain will tell the child to mirror the respect.

Even though the child is "Inferior" and "inexperienced", it's always best to discipline through more positive, less traumatic means.

In short, positive discipline, positive results. The child behaves if the parents themselves behave, so to speak. Simple psychological mirroring that lasts into adulthood.

[Tenshinchigi]

My mom says that's BS. What she tells me is that while kids these days have different problems there are still problems. Her parents ignored her, now she gives in all the time. He mom only cooked TV dinners, my mom makes home made meals, and spoils me by making me a separate and special dinner.

Back then kids were ignored and mistreated, now kids a fawned over an spoiled. Different problems same issues. :/

I mean my dad tells me the worst stories, from being beaten and tied to trees to being left at a closed school all day. And my mom tells me about how her mom ignored her and wouldn't even give her money for clothes after the age of 14.

I mean every generation has it's own problem, no one generation is better off then the other.

[Eric Smith]

"He who spares the rod, spoils the child." Bible

Kids should be punished not because they did something wrong, they should be punished because they could do it again.

EDIT: post was unclear...

This post has been edited by Grovyle: May 26 2009, 10:17 PM

[Aragos]

A harsh punishment for a child doing something for the first time is uncalled for. Why beat a child if it was the first time the child ever said something wrong/ broke something/ broke a rule? The first time offenders should get a lecture, and be informed of the consequences. If the child doesn't even KNOW they did something wrong in the first place, hitting them over it or being super harsh over it would just confuse and upset the child. The key to raising a good kid is proper communication. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone is unaware of some rules- even children.

[Kalith]

Most kids now days are turds that need a spanking.

My kids have a high sense of manners and I intend to keep it that way.

It's not so much that the kids themselves are bad, It's rare a child is actually born "bad"

Instead, it's that now days parents are too busy (or lazy in most cases) to instill good manners and whatnot in their children, and that absolutely has to stop.

This post has been edited by Aknara: Jun 10 2009, 05:39 PM