[X] My Assistant

[Bronze Charizard]

Between a Stone and a Hard Place

Summary from OOC Topic
Shortly after the arrival of three newcomers, a shipment of evolution stones is stolen. The situation quickly turns ugly when the thieves are found to have more tricks up their sleeve than they seemed to at first. Are the three youngsters in over their heads? Find out in PANE: Between A Stone And A Hard Place!

Characters
Kazill
Zach
Lizzie

[Toogee]

Stone Cold: Review of “Between a Stone and a Hard Place”

This RP was a bit rushed. I was hoping for more interaction between the main characters. Since Kazill and Zach were more social than Lizzie, they may have been able to coax her out of her shell. However, the story went straight for the action with no breaks for the characters to get to know each other. Next time, try pacing yourselves and savor the story.

Posts could have been longer as well. Include more detail next time. You could also team up with other RPers to make posts via PM/IM for bigger posts and more fluid conversation. Just don’t forget to include a bunny warning .

With that: the grades.

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 3/7

I liked the first post where Racket is trying to go back home. Perhaps in future RPs, we’ll see that aspect of Kazill’s pokemon in more detail. Maybe the mankey will find something to love in this new land.

Your posts could have used more detail. For example, in post 14, you could have written about the bad guys unleashing pokemon in preparation to attack. You could have also added Kazill crawling out of the tunnel. In general, I’d like to see posts around one page in length (if you write posts in Word or other word processor, this is easy to tell). These would include feelings of the character, pokemon, and maybe the NPCs you happen to be controlling. A description of the surroundings would have been nice. Also, how did Kazill get to the tunnel? She’s in different locations in every post, but I can’t tell how she’s getting there.

Since Kazill is a people person, I find it hard to believe that she waited until the end of the RP to introduce herself. There was a period where you and Pinsir had writer’s block. That would have been a good time to talk to each other.

Battle: 3/5

Kazill had two battles, but only took minor roles in either one. In fact, her pokemon were around just in time to deliver the finishing blow. There was a little more struggle with the mismagius, but I still would have liked more detail.

Total: 9/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3


Skill: 2/7

It’s best to save the life-threatening injuries for the end of the RP. Getting hit by a crowbar that hard would have given Zach a concussion and probably would have broken facial bones. That’s a trip to the hospital for stitches and overnight observation (best-case scenario) or surgery (worst-case). Washing it with saltwater would have stung like hell, yet Zach shows no reaction to it. The random paramedic was random. Who called him?

Like I said to Ruby Charizard, more detail please. Though the missing electrike was a good plot twist, it would have been nice if someone metioned that the thieves took it. First, you posted that the thieves weren’t going to steal it. Then, they somehow do. What happened between those posts?

Watch your tenses; you switch to second person (use of “you”) in a couple posts.

Finally, like Kazill, Zach is also a people person. Yet, he interacted very little with the people, only introducing himself at the end of the RP. How about taking time to make friends next time?

On the plus side, you were the only one who mentioned some sort of time of day. It would have been nice to see that play a role in the RP. Did the dim light make it more difficult to track the robbers? Was Zach hungry? Maybe he could have invited Kazill for dinner to get to know each other. They’re young teens; it could happen :P

Battle: 2/5

Very short battles with the zubat and skorupi but one decent one with the mismagius. There didn’t seem to be much risk in the latter; the bad guys were nice enough to let Zach use a potion AND allow him to attack immediately afterwards. You would think they would take advantage of the pause to go after either the pokemon or the trainer.

Total: 7/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 7/7

Fairly more detailed than the others. I may have mentioned this in your last grade, but I do enjoy the Riolu’s character. One must wonder who’s the real trainer: Lizzie or Riolu :P.

Her shyness was spot on with her personality. It would have been nice for the riolu to encourage her a bit more in talking with others.

Battle: 5/5

Battles were good too. Lizzie had a good balance of victories and defeats, plausible enough for a somewhat rookie trainer. Even though she was the most experienced, it didn’t mean she was wiping the floor with everyone. They were well detailed as well. Again I liked the riolu for his determination.

Total: 15/15

[Master Houndoom]

A review of Airy Arasam:

I apologize for how long it took for me to get to this. I was lucky enough to have been able to read this as it was posted, and even then my free time is cramped.

Still, I enjoyed this. The contest was fun and the joy ride with Troy (Troy-ride?) was hilarious. I liked the karaoke, and it was a good touch to have links to the songs that were sung

However, if I have one complaint, it's that the gym battle was not very long, especially in comparison to the contests. I am not docking points for this, but we see or gym leaders so seldom: I would like to see fights worthy of their status.

Due to short time, I will be sparse with my comments. My apologies.

Participation: 3/3
Skill: 7/7
Battle: 5/5

Pan continues to be an engaging and unique character. It is nice to see her in a different setting, a little off her footing. It is also nice to see her with down time, and a reliable partner. Keep up the characterizations: They help make a team unique!

Participation: 3/3
Skill: 7/7
Battle: 5/5

Douken is growing well. I think you still need to keep a wary eye out for Douken becoming far more awesome than perhaps he's earned. Everyone needs foibles. I also hope that you will continue to improve in writing. The improvements are quite visible.

[Kamaitachi]

Lockdown is finished up and ready for review.

Synopsis
Originally meant to deal with a 'terrorist' hostage situation in the Petropolis Pokemon center, the RP evolved into a 3-stage storyline, with the tournament at the Happy Happy Department Store, wherein Tag faced Justin once again in mortal combat, and Andrew Harding was introduced to the world of PANE.

The next step was at the pokemon center, where, coincidentally, Tag, Andrew and Justin (as well as Justin's new friends) all found themselves. Out of seemingly nowhere, a group calling themselves "The Sons of Lenoilia" appear, and take over the Pokemon Center, staging a protest over Petropolis' pollution and eventual destruction of their home, Lenoilia. Instead of being held captive, the three stage a little revolt, with Justin taking the brunt of the battle.

The last leg of this rp highlights Tag's gym challenge at the Petropolis Gym, where after a fierce battle, he overcomes the leader Vega.

Dramatis Personae:
Taggarty Lee
Justin Smart
Andrew Harding

Also Featuring:
Jill, Alec, Kerry and James
Sons of Lenoilia
Vega
Pistol Jones
Annabel Yu

Thank you!

[Toogee]

“Smart-Lee” Done: Review of “Lockdown”

Overall, I liked the budding friendship between Justin and Tag. It’ll be interesting to see how this relationship grows as they find out more about each other. I’ll keep comments brief so I can get this out ASAP.

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 7/7

It’s clear that Tag is starting to grow out of his former identity from Johto. Despite his rough treatment of people, he melts for his pokemon, particularly the cute ones.

Battle: 5/5

Lots of battles, though you kind of got lazy during NPC battles (OHKO against butterfree). The quality of the other battles more than makes up for it.

Total: 15/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3


Skill: 7/7

I’m really liking Justin’s struggle with life events. It seems like he’s still trying to figure out himself. It’s likely one of the reasons he and Tag are starting to get along, as both are trying to forge new identities for themselves. I really would have liked for Justin to exit the RP properly with some sort of finality (ex. Joining Jill and co. at the party).

Battle: 5/5

There were some good battles here as well. His relationship with Pinsir was well-done here.

Total: /15

Total: 3/15

Generally, we require at least 10 posts to be eligible for a grade. Since the few posts that you made were pretty good. I’ll give you the minimum of three points. Try and stick around until the end next time.

[Ice Jet]

Boat Rockers is *finally finished!

Summary:

Ivan, Alex, Twila, and James are heading out to Port Barley, riding on S.S. Lady to Furoh. Instead of a relaxing cruise, a pickpocket is on the loose, and aboard the ship and had stolen some valuable items, including some of their pokemon. They tried to find the thief high and low, but they ended up running around in circles. Until up to the last minute, they spotted the thief and chased him and battled his pokemon, and it was a success. All were returned back, and some of them gained new pokemon along the way.

Characters:
Ivan Scott ==> Teh AquaJet Ice Jet
Alexander Wells ==> NES2
James Stanley ==> luke39
Twila Reanne ==> SaphireShadows

Significant NPCs:

Uncle Andrew
Rocky

New / Transferred Pokemon:

Kurt
Trikey
Mai

[Living Arrow]

Ahem… SINCE WHEN DO THIEVES ACTUALLY WEAR BLACK MASKS?!

RP Grading - Boat Rockers

General Notes

You guys are some die-hard roleplayers! I counted 8 posts in one day! Just make sure that none of you gets too eager and leaves other behind unnecessarily – remember, we all have real life stuff to deal with too. Also, I appreciate you all had to set up your characters on the ship but the first interaction was 11 posts in! Don’t be afraid to start off interaction faster in the future.

A word on god-modding. Although there wasn’t any degree of god-modding that I felt necessary to bring up, I felt it was right just to make you all aware that having your trainers “know too much” is just as much god-modding as taking control of other characters. No character is perfect and all of yours are 11-18 years old so it is highly unlikely that they’d know details about every Pokemon in the pokedex. Try to consider that in your next roleplays.

Battles. Please agree on battle proceedings and outcomes either in your discussion thread or in pm. I don’t really want to see OOC debates mid-roleplay. We mods have had to sort out a lot of god-mod battles in the past since battles were not agreed between players beforehand. Please get into the habit of discussing battles in more depth with each other before you post.
Not only that, but agree on some moves that can fill out a single player’s posts. It gets frustrating reading posts that only describe one attack.
Also, in future roleplays you can battle NPCs in a single post – there is no need for another player to control them.

That said, this RP had a simple plot-line suitable for any beginner but I have to say it wasn’t played out as well as I think you all could do. Parts seemed rushed, disjointed and above all confusing to read. Read individual sections for levels awarded. And remember - all criticism here is constructive.

Activity: 3/3

Skill: 2/7
Although it was clear that you had a lot in mind for your character from the get-go, I must admit it became confusing since details were left out that would have been much more helpful (i.e. I didn’t have to read Ivan’s profile first). For example: Where is this dude from? I’m assuming somewhere in kanto since he went to Vermillion…. Oh look! Fuschia City!

I also became confused (yeah, it doesn’t take much) by the perspective used in your writing. Jumping from present tense to past was weird. Please just write in past tense – it’s a lot easier since that’s the way everyone else does it.

Aaaand, your sentences are pretty much always really short. Although that can be effective in some cases, it becomes frustrating when trying to read a flowing story. Consider rolling some sentences together to give the reader something to hold onto before another idea is right on top of them.

Some examples of what I mean:
Ivan had his Bulbasaur attack a man *before* he considered that the guy was the thief… That makes Ivan kinda rude in my book :P

Check posts #18-19. What makes you think James was talking to Ivan? Read other peoples’ posts in full so you can write appropriate responses.

Battling: 3/5
Battles were frequent but disjointed.

Total: 8/15

A note on Ivan’s profile: Shivers is only level 8… He is permitted to be level 10 if you so wish BEFORE allocation of level points awarded for this roleplay. You don’t need to ask permission to change it – just go ahead if you want to. If you do, Kurt shall start at level 10 rather than level 9.

Like Ice Jet, your character’s Pokemon are at a lower level than what is actually allowed. If you want to raise their levels to 10 each before allocation of levels from this roleplay, go ahead. If not, we won’t force you (but why not take the boost?). If you do, both of James' Pokemon shall be level ten prior to allocation of these levels.

Activity: 3/3

Skill: 2/7
James claimed to have seen someone that could have been the thief when running down the corridor… There are plenty of people on the boat. What makes him assume the thief is male? What about the guy was suspicious? Nothing? So why would he mention it to some random dude on deck? Please consider cause and reaction events in your posts and give us all the details so we don’t get confused by what’s going on.

Watch out for your character perspectives – you jumped from third person (he, she) to first person (I, we) mid-roleplay. Please only write in third person. Thanks.

Sentences like this: “James started to feel as though that nice had started going away that Muddy was gone.” don’t make sense. Please read through your posts before clicking “post new message” to ensure things like this don’t happen.

Battling: 3/5
Battles were frequent but disjointed.

Total: 8/15

Activity: 3/3

Skill: 5/7

On the whole, I didn't have many problems at all with your writing. Watch out for posts that are so short they arent worth posting and try to advance the stroy a bit more with each post rather than relying on others to do it for you.

“Alex swam over to the side with his pokemon, and tried to have a bit of fun with the girl.” Goodness gracious! I hope he asked for permission! :P And if he thinks 3 years is a large age gap between himself and Twila, he’s totally kidding himself

Battling: 4/5
Battles were written nicely but in places could have done with better planning outside of the roleply (see the general notes for details).

Total: 12/15

Activity: 3/3

Skill: 6/7
Twila is a bit of an oddball for me. I mean, who would want to challenge a load of gym leaders if they were that shy?! She also seemed to get over her shyness in the space of hours... odd! :p I'm letting that slide for the moment as I really enjoyed Twila's side-skit to obtaining Mai's antidote and retrieving her prized Pokemon.

Following the trail of oil to find the thief was inspired roleplaying. TEN POINTS TO RAVENCLAW… Or just some to your rp skill :p

Battling: 4/5
Battles were written nicely but in places could have done with better planning outside of the roleply (see the general notes for details).

Total: 13/15

For your profile, please note my comments on our other players’ Pokemon. You were entitled to start with 2 level 10 Pokemon and capture a Pokemon with their average level. Therefore, I will allow you to set all three of your Pokemons’ levels to 10 before allocation of levels granted by this roleplay. If you’d rather not, that’s up to you.

Take this roleplay as good practice for your next ones and please try to take on board our comments. We want to give you as many points as possible so don't give us reasons not to! When you are ready, please update your current levels posts with this grading.

Thanks,

~LA

[Master Houndoom]

From the brightest days
The darkest nights will arrive
This is our story.

Divide And Conquer has ended.

Darryn, Jaima, Meiko, and Tuesday leave Tuesday's uncle DeBrody's ranch refreshed and rejuvenated. Remembering the first time they were caught outdoors, they find themselves wary, afraid, but this does not keep them from, once again, getting attacked. This time, rather than simply drawing them away from each other, the villains blow them away (literally) and scatter them, separating them not only from each other, but also their pokemon.

This wouldn't be anything more than annoying... if they hadn't proceeded to set the forest on fire...

[Toogee]

Finally posted this, though I may have been a bit nitpicky.

Review of “Divide and Conquer”

Once again, we find Team Rouge in trouble again, this time involving a brief encounter with a gun. Instead of using the gun though, the bad guys decided to whirlwind the team away, along with their pokemon. That part I don’t get: why would they whirlwind all the pokemon and their human targets away, and then proceed to kill them with a wildfire? Weren’t they after them in the first place? If you’re going to do that, why not just shoot them? Unless the “whirlwinder” is actually a good guy in disguise (I doubt it), I sense a massive plot hole. (I’m probably reading too much into it though.)

I do like the concept for the RP though. Splitting them up and interacting with their friends’ pokemon was an excellent idea and revealed more about their relationships. It’s funny to see that, while the humans grew close over time, their pokemon did not share the same kinship. A fun read overall.

The battle section was difficult to grade. The battle kept ending and restarting, and pokemon I thought had fainted were suddenly fighting again. It’s one of the reasons this took so long to grade (aside from my busy schedule).

NOTE: To anyone else reading this, if this RP gave you the idea of implementing guns into your RPs, you’d best check with the mods. I really don’t want to see gunfights replace pokemon fights. I definitely don’t want to see people taking gunshot wounds and walking away. Again, mod permission only, please.

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 7/7

It’s nice to see Jaima and Meiko apart from each other. As of late, they always seem to be close together, so it’s a good change (especially for Meiko) to have them act alone in a dangerous situation.

Battle: 5/5

Lots of battles. Can’t say much more than the usual.

Total:15/15

Participation/Activity: /3


Skill: 7/7

Looks like Darryn is taking a darker turn, erasing people’s memories and all. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when his friends find out.

Battle: 5/5

Great work, and I’m interested in how Darryn used his newfound powers to influence pokemon battles. What’s stopping him from using his powers to get easy wins in contests or help Jaima out in his gym battles? It’d be nice to see a struggle with the ethics in the future.

Total: 15/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3


Skill: 6/7

Sorry to pick on you in this RP, but there are some things that I think need to be addressed.

Early in the RP, Cassandra saved the day with awesome psychic powers. Perhaps too awesome. Even though she was miles away, her psychic powers not only saved Tuesday and co. from certain death, but every single living being in the vicinity. I’m not even sure an alakazam can do that, much less a kadabra. Her powers were legendary level, so I have to take points off. Since you’re your usual RPing self, that lessened the sting.

Battle: 4/5

I had problems with one particular post (post 47). First:

The rampardos fused together into the real Zulu, and then the real Zulu slammed his head into Zorro’s body. There was a heavy CRUNCH as a number of bones in Zorro’s body shattered on impact with the rampardos’ skull, and then the riolu was airborne, catapulted backward until the force of gravity drug him back to earth and he crashed to the ground in a heap of blue and black fur.

At the end of that same post:

Zorro ran back toward Tuesday. He could see Ashleigh fighting a great dinosaur and a man whipping out commands, and there was the captain, Odysseus, running back, too, and his hermana was pushing herself to her feet. Hair hanging ragged, damp, and filthy in her face, she stood up tall, glaring at the man with fire in her eyes, a snarl on her lips.

If you have shattered bones, you’re not going anywhere. I know those posts get huge, but you should keep track of what’s going on.
Total: 13/15

[Toogee]

Lackadaisical Repose and Leery Rascals at Loch Ranch is finished!

Pandora Gibbs- 2gamers
Douken Sota- Douken Sota
Justin Smart- Yzarc Drowsnam

Our heroes stop by at the largest daycare facility in Furoh: Loch Ranch. Along with meeting the Loch family, Pan is reunited with Justin, their first meeting occuring in the Underground. From the group is put to work with the task of finding eggs around the ranch. Thoughout their exploration of the ranch, Pan's growlithe is reunited with his old master (who doesn't even remember him), Douken encounters an odd pairing of xatu and skarmory, and Justin gets closer to his pokemon. Later in the night, he also gets closer to Pan. A potential relationship may be in the offing.

The Cult of Darkrai shows up to ruin everyone's night's rest. A large battle ensues as the enemy attempts to capture a spiritomb egg. Douken does a decent job in protecting the hatchery, while Pan and Justin tag-teamed to fight the forces outside. Later on, Pan gets trapped in the middle of a tauros herd. Her growlithe Fenrir evolves just in time to rescue her and corral the tauros. Crisis averted!

The group departed in the morning. Douken captures a skarmory, while Pan and Justin hope their separate paths don't stay separate forever. Justin leaves for Arasam, while Pan and Douken ride on their pokemon for Petropolis.

[Living Arrow]

We were definitely onto a winner when we created the Loch Ranch but you guys have managed to up it that little bit more! I loved this RP and all of the players in it – the scores are reflected by this.

RP Grading - Lackadaisical Repose and Leery Rascals at Loch Ranch

General Notes

Well thought-out posts, some epic battles, humour, tear-jerking moments and splash of romance? The roleplay truly had it all. As a fan of this trio, I had it on *track topic* to keep up to date the whole way and I was not disappointed. In fact, if I could give out more than just 10 levels I would!

Typically, there is little else to do other than help the Lochs with their work but somehow you managed to throw in a cult...… A CULT! *squeee!*

Activity: 3/3 You posted sufficiently. ‘Nuff said.

Skill: 7/7 Going to be honest here. I think you’re one of the ones where getting anything lower than 7 would be difficult. Posts are always on the money - not only do you have awesome content (such as the beautiful story between Fenrir and Ronald) with some brilliant plot driving moments (where did the Cult of Darkrai come from!?) everything was kept realistic and nothing flew off any sort of handle.

Now, I actually did get a bit sad as soon as the whole Fenrir/Ronald skit started. It was just so... so... sad! I love little big Fenrir and seeing him go through that was kinda awful! But it got happy in the end so I did to!

Thanks, btw, for the Darryn reference :P

Battling: 5/5EPIC CULT BATTLE. This was enough for a 5! But wait! What’s this?! CHICHI IN A SEED BOMB FILLED BATTLE WITH A GOLEM!!!???? 10 POINTS!... Ugh, limit is 5. Sorry! :p

Total: 15/15

Activity: 3/3 Indeed, there was activity. Pwnd.

Skill: 7/7 Douken Douken Douken. Every time you come through another RP, you get better. I have to admit that really this is the first time where I’ve gone “hey! That was pretty damn good!” with you but this roleplay was wicked. Feeding a Magnemite a battery? A bisexual Xatu? Awesome. I loved the mini-skit between the Skarmory and Xatu

Although Douken is partly a stereo-trainer with the bravery and hot headedness he is still human and you didn’t deviate from this. Nice job.

Battling: 5/5 I think it was a bit unfair for Douken to attack that poor Skarmory before it even made a move itself… Even so, it was a good battle and it was nice to see Rusty getting some action. Clearly that battery did the trick! Not only did you have a nice bit of training but an UBER EPIC BATTLE. Full marks.

Total: 15/15

Activity: 3/3 Take a break? NEVAH! Full points.

Skill: 7/7 Justin aint a normal trainer. I mean, really, he’s not even a particularly good trainer. Not only that, he’s in frikkin TEAM DECEPTION! Out of all our active members he’s probably the most mature and I think you play him brilliantly (and dodge the over-swearing fine pretty darn well, too!). It was really nice to see Justin just travelling rather than being flung into a mission - the inbetween bits are always necessary!

Bit heroic this Justin fella! Saving Pan like that... or is it the hormones talking?! :P On a serious note though, he's a complete sex pest. Poor Pan! At least he's not as rapey as Troy, but he's not far from it!

It’ll sure be interesting if Darryn ever encountered this fellow. That’ll have to happen at some point.

Battling: 5/5(I'm kinda scared of Pinsir ) To quote yourself and a fellow mod: "Justin's constant elbowing of the man's impressively hard stomach seemed to be doing nothing. How emasculating." How true :P Darryn was screaming "AIM LOWER!" all the way through that!

Total: 15/15

A great read and an example of what a roleplay should be. Definitely marking you guys as players for Darryn's future (yes, he is sadly separating from Team Rogue very very soon).

~LA

[Hydra]

Crabs Shells & Stones was abandoned(I was busy with exams and it was a let down to the others.

Luke39 - James Stanley
Absoleevee - Ali Symma
Dragon Maiden - Aussie Winters

James has arrived in Port Barley and has found a flyer and reads it. It is about the Pokeathlon, James is interested about it but there is something else happening. He get's distracted by a group of Wild Krabby's and a group of Wild Shellders. They are fighting over Territory and a Water Stone. They are running around at the Marina and holding up all the boats as the captains don't want to hurt them. James sees this as something he could help in. He needs 2 people to help him settle these pokemon down. And will James ever pursue a dream of becoming a Pokeathlete?

We didn't make it far so I submitted it to grading and no one has shown interest in continuing it.
Important Events so far:
Ali caught an Eevee.

Thanks
Luke39

[Toogee]

Due to the shortness of the RP, I cannot grade this. My general rule for a 3-person RP is 30-40 posts or around two pages. There are only 17 posts in this RP.

[Ganymede]

Lost in Lenolia is done!

Dramatis Personae
Cameron Ramirez - Haunted
Raven Amaranth - Tymid
Taggarty Lee - Kamaitachi

Cameron Ramirez, a spoiled-rich rock star from Petropolis, is en route to Gigarte for his tour. Along the way something goes wrong with one of the buses, and the one Cameron is in is forced to stop just outside Lenolia. Fed up, Cameron storms off into the dangerous city with only his Pokemon by his side. Meanwhile, Raven Amaranth is on a walk through Lenolia when she and Taggarty Lee, fresh from the hostage crisis in Petropolis, hear Cameron's screams as he is attacked by a trio of bandits. After rescuing his sorry arse helping him out, the three travel to the city's run-down Pokemon Centre, where Tag formulates a plan to rescue the captive Pokemon held in a smuggling ring not too far off. After giving Raven and Cameron a to-the-point lesson in battling, the trio engage in a battle royale with the smugglers. They don't come out unscathed, however - Tag suffers a gunshot wound, Raven gets in a no-holds-barred fight with two of the smugglers, and Cameron takes a knife to the shoulder.

Thankfully, they manage to rescue all of the captured Pokemon. Cameron learns a lesson in hubris and gets a chilling note from his aunt back home, saying that his corporate-empire father is planning something. The trio then quick-travel to Loch Ranch, where the three finally part ways.

[Living Arrow]

OK. To start myself off on the right footing for this grading, I went back to the three profiles and read them through again. DAY-UM! These three had so much personality it made my teeth hurt! Even so, it excited me to see how you guys would make a blend of such headstrong characters.

RP Grading – Lost in Lenoilia

General Notes

This RP consisted:
Gathering of group
Tag and Raven battle 3 stooges
Trip to Pokemon Center
Battle training session between Tag and Cameron
Battle Royale
Lovey-Pidovey ending

Now, when we say Battle Royale, sure we all imagine a big battle. But this?! This was on a whole new scale. That baby went on for literally weeeeeeks! It can’t hurt your score when I’m grading but it CAN make a mod sigh with exhaustion after reading battle after battle after battle. In future, I’d pull back on the volume of battling a little more but make individual battles a bit more epic… Like Rocky! xD
Another word of warning on battling – remember that Pokemon get tired even if they win. With so many battles in there, you were close on god-mod territory. True, there were some great strategies in there, courtesy of Tag, but I couldn’t help feeling that too much was being done. Your scores weren’t effected this time but please keep it in mind for the future.

Activity: 3/3 You were active. Congrats?

Skill: 7/7 Amazing backstory. Although he isn’t the only musically talented person in Furoh, he’s definitely the most famous! But getting left behind like that? PRICELESS! You have no idea how much I wanted a Grimer to gunk on him during this RP :P
Really smooth cuts to other locations/side stories put you at a 7 before anything else was even considered! Congrats 
And I did like that you kept Cameron true to his character. He didn’t suddenly become an amazing battler, but he did grow from the experience. I especially liked the change in sprite to depict this.

Battling: 5/5 Thunder Waves are go! Joking aside, the battle Cameron took part in were clever, many and varied.

Total: 15/15

Activity: 3/3 You were active. Congrats?

Skill: 7/7 Creepy-ass opener! *Shudders* I instantly wanted to give Raven a hug (or send Darryn for me) after that nightmare! Following this up with the hilarious image of a smoker-Totodile? Now, that made me laugh! But her view on well-groomed Pokemon and Contest is wrong… WRONG! Darryn certainly wouldn’t hug her if he ever found out she didn’t like his style of training :P
One thing did bother me in this rp: “For a while, Raven had been working with non-verbal communication in training her poke'mon.” I don’t rmember reading this anywhere else. As such it serves as one of those ‘oh! How convenient!’ moments which I am not a big fan of. It didn’t effect your score though – everything else was so good, it didn’t particularly matter.
And as for the Larvitar – you’re good enough now to capture it at the end of the next roleplay or at the very beginning of the one after that. Until then, Raven can’t use him in battle.

Battling: 5/5 Now, this is what we like! Some human-a-human action! Of course, it doesn’t count towards this score but I like to see some real-life reactions like Raven punched this Clem dude in the face.
Battles were decent and you kept them to a high quality. Full marks.

Total: 15/15

Activity: 3/3 You were active. Congrats?

Skill: 7/7 “watching as Kyoko leapt down off the bench, almost greedily slamming her head/body into the bowl to eat. It was odd.” LMFAO. At first, I had an issue with the way Tag speaks – he is especially formal, even for a 27-year-old but then I remembered he was originally a Dragon trainer and so probably grew up with ideas of respect and how to speak dictated to him as he grew up. After that, it seemed completely normal :P

Battling: 5/5 This might seem odd but my favourite part of Tag’s battles was where Kyoko used Worry Seed on that Koffing – nice way to control battle! IRL, I’d never think to use that but it’s a really clever technique. That Twilight Badge was well-earned, it seems
Oh, and this: “her quick reflexes had saved her from being vivisected at the waist” made me gasp a little bit. Poor Suzu! Anyway, with Tag around with knowledge of “Same-Type Attack Bonus, and the Super Effective Typing” they were sure to win whatever came up :p

Total: 15/15

[Yzarc Drowsnam]

When Crime Pays

Justin Smart and Nate Guzman, relatively new (and very low ranking) members of Team Deception are given their second assignment. They are to take an unknown package and sell it to a group of five men in a cave in Mt. Carello. Needless to say (or maybe I did...I don't know, whatever), the five decide not to pay up. Seeing as how they outnumber Justin and Nate five to two, it was certainly a smart decision at the time. Justin and Nate run away, leaving behind the money. Nate, barely conscious after being punched in the face, accidentally leaves behind Da Bomb, his numel.

The two run into Taggarty Lee and Raven Amaranth, who are there independently of each other, but also know each other. And Justin and Nate already knew Tag. Crazy Random Happenstance indeed! Anyway, Raven and Tag agree to help out a bro in need (though Justin and Nate only mention that Da Bomb was stolen). Some events occur, blah blah blah, characters get frustrated with each other, some characters do some really douchey things (one, in particular) and stuff.

Roleplayers Involved
1. Yzarc Drowsnam

• Justin Smart - Current Levels
• Nate Guzman - Wiki

2. Tymid

• Raven Amaranth - Current Levels

3. Kamaitachi

• Taggarty Lee - Current Levels

Other Notes:

Justin's Bonsly evolved into Sudowoodo
Raven's Aria evolved into Luxio
Raven caught Forte the Larvitar
Tag caught Orin the Snorunt

Reason for edit: I left out a digit in the link to the RP. My b

This post has been edited by Yzarc Drowsnam: Jan 19 2011, 12:51 PM

[Living Arrow]

For you three roleplayers, I really don't see a need to bolster your egos with words of congrats on an RP well done... BUT I WILL ANY WAY! I really enjoyed this roleplay and feel like I've gotten to grips with your characters pretty well now. A few minor blips on the radar this time but nothing that can't be worked on.

RP Grading – When Crime Pays

General Notes

This RP consisted:
Some douches in a cave
Some nice people in a cave
A Tyranitar in a cave
Battles in a cave
Captures in a cave
Battles outside a cave

The battles here were good until the end section. That much really wasn't needed. Yes, it was nice to have a battle roayle. No, the enemies didn't need that many Pokemon. Yes, you decide how many battles to have. No, I didn't like it. This issue, however, hasn't harmed your grades but let it be known that I got sick of reading battles! :p

For Raven and Tag, I want to make something incredibly clear for future roleplays. Although they have heard the name "Team Deception" now, they do not know what that means so would not automatically link it to anything that goes on in future unless Nate or Justin is involved. Sure, they could think about it, but other than that they know literally nothing about the organisation.

Read on for scores.

Activity: 3/3 You were active.

Skill: 7/7 Probably some of the best dialogue I've seen on this site comes from your characters - I'm a big fan.
I like that we are seeing Justin's human side throughout these roleplays to serve as a reminder that he's in TD for the money and nothing else. Will that backfire on him in future? Who knows. But that's creating suspense and I love it! No complaints on style and you always keep true to your characters, Nate included (I OUGHT TO WASH HIS MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP AND WATER!).

Battling: 4/5 Good battles throughout. However, I have to dock a point for Hitmontop. Sure, we get it - he's powerful. But give the geezer a break! He battled a Tyranitar, Gallade, Manectric and then "went to town" on a Mamoswine? Bit far if you ask me.

Total: 14/15

Activity: 3/3 You were active.

Skill: 6/7 HAAAAAA! I love how Raven thought the Tyranitar was dead and didn't think that it was sleeping first (lovely plot twist) but at the same time I thought that the moment could have been captured a little better with some more description of how it was positioned etc. After all, Team Deception *may* have just defeated it in battle and it was unconscious. Since these details were left out, I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.
She, out of a lot of other trainers in PANE-land, is one of the most surprising when it comes to how soft and gentle she can be with her Pokemon when they share a rough exterior. These moments are always nice to read and show off a lot more about Raven than her battling skills so they are valuable and appreciated when they appear.

I do, however, have moments of uncertainty reading Raven's dialogue. I understand that she is from a wealthy background and so would be well spoken... But using words like "thus" in general conversation sounds like something only a Professor would do... It just doesn't sit right with me. Especially when she then goes on to call someone a "jackass"...

Oh, and she blacks out too often for my liking

Battling: 4/5 Ugh, sorry to say it but you fell into one of my pet hates on a roleplay like this - having your character suggest things to others during battle. While I find it ok in terms of something like a gym match I just don't think Raven would have had time to think about shedding advice with her own problems to deal with. Plus, I don't believe Raven is actually experienced enough to be thinking things like: "Raven could only hope and pray that they would listen to her, otherwise, all would be for naught." It is far far more likely for someone like Tag to take that stance.
That said, however, your battles were decent enough for a good grade (well thought out and of decent length). The non-verbal command system works well for her, too.

Total: 13/15

Activity: 3/3 You were active.

Skill: 6/7 Things were going well until Tag spat at Justin's feet. For me, that was a really exaggerated reaction that wasn't explained all too well. It would have been nice to see some of conflict for him - he didn't know what Team Deception was or even is, so why would he necessarily react that way? Just because Nate admitted they were "criminals"? I doubt it. And he didn't have anything to say to Justin and Nate in the hospital? Really? Some interesting things to think about for the next RP.

On the plus side, you kept true to Tag's righteous nature though, which I liked.

Torchwood and Dr Who!!!!! NICE! (Where is Captain jack????)

Battling: 5/5 Lots of nice battles - especially the final battle. In the cave, it was good to see Tag admitting his disadvantages and letting Nate help out - humanising him in this particular respect was important for me as he seems to be almost too perfect at times. Plus, I adore the strategies that he uses - really brings the game mechanics into the roleplay, which I like.

Total: 14/15

Until next time,

~LA

[switzerIand]

NES2, you forgot me...

[Troy Bolton]

I'll take it, but please be advised I have a battery of tests looming over the horizon. I will, however, attempt to complete my grading posthaste.

[Toogee]

SUPER QUICK RP GRADING: Review of "The Move Tutor"

Since nuttyjigs is the only remaining player, I'm only grading her. The results:

Participation: 3/3. You stayed to the bitter end!
Skill: 4/7 Wildly erratic post length, but those that were bigger were pretty good.
Battle: 2/5. Trainer battle was good, but I would have like to have seen more. Perhaps that would have happened if the RP reached its conclusion, but we'll never know.

Total: 9/15. Not a terrible start. Keep it up!