[X] My Assistant

[Gryphaena]

Oh, that sort of support, hehe.

The usual.

I suppose you can forgive me for thinking you had found something like what is usually thought of when someone says "support group".

[Giyuu Tomioka]

I went to group therapy for a bit whenever stuff was really bad a few years back, it was pretty nice I met a ton of really sweet folks and it helped me open up some after a bit. I would totally recommend it.

[Gryphaena]

I think I've had a bit of group things, I've gone to Social Skills Group and Independent Living Skills Group, but I wouldn
t call it group therapy.

[Chillwave]

i have borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, bipolar II, and social anxiety. they're a huge part of my identity tbh.... i always try to encourage positivity about one's mental illnesses because it sux having to live in such an ableist world.

[Gryphaena]

Welcome, Chillwave!

I feel like I am not my symptoms, but they are attached to me and I need to live despite them.

I don't know what everyone else thinks.

[SawkItToMe]

Hi im nat, i'm disabled and mentally ill in a lot of ways and my disabilities and illnesses make up a lot of who I am. A lot of my mental illness stuff is kept secret from my family out of fear, as they're abusive and hurt me for having symptoms of my disabilities and illnesses and they'd probably hurt me even worse if they found out all the.... extensive "worse" stuff i have and learned to cope with online with others.

The stuff my family knows about are: obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, insomnia, and short term memory loss (the latter 2 are probably impacted by my disabilities as well as my mental illnesses tbh).

And then the stuff i hide from them: i have intrusive thoughts about violence and abuse and and gore and hurting myself and others and other nastiness. i am terrified of it and self loathing about it a lot honestly. my compulsions to obsessively look at gore and make myself upset and disgusted can get really bad at times. it is very hard.

i'm a maladaptive daydreamer whose long fantasies, about things such as universes where everyone loves and cares about me or ones in which i'm abused and hurt or even killed take my entire day up and are very hard to escape. it's hard to describe them, they're very.... movie-like, is the best way to describe them. Essentially imagine a movie constantly in your brain most of the day, taking up all your focus and time, being about things like people actually loving and caring about you or you constantly being maimed and abused. it's really hard to not let it envelop you all day

i am delusional im pretty sure, mainly with things involving shadow people. i feel their stares and eyes on me and i can feel them breathing so i know they are there for sure, and they live in the darkness. i am intensely afraid of being in the dark without a light source because that means they can touch me and they might possibly get to me and I panic and freak out that they will get me. I don't even know if they will but. I know they are there. i dont know their purpose but i feel them and they never leave.

my emotions are chaotic and incredibly intense and I am back and forth constantly, i am borderline. i am also depressed and very suicidal (since around age 11), quite sure i'm avoidant, intensely paranoid, and I hallucinate (mostly tactile, though auditory and visual ones can indeed happen. they're more intense and common when I am stressed which is often). I also for a long while have been speculating on whether or not i might be on the psychotic spectrum.

anyways really soon, in about 3 days, my parents are putting me in a dorm and forcing me out of online college. so hopefully i'll be able to access accommodations for the first time in my life, despite barely failing and passing by my whole entire time in the school system due to disability and mental stuff. i hope i also gain access to a therapist, I hope maybe that can help me cope better perhaps... i dont know. im just afraid of being hurt for being open about a lot of my experiences irl, but i really do need help with a lot of my stuff. i hope things go well for me but also to others on this forum.

online reassurance and coping methods have helped me in my times of need to know i'm not alone and lessen my ostracized feelings and experiences, so i'm glad this forum exists.

[Shunte]

So I know according to the National Association of Mental Illness 1 out of 4 Americans are diagnosed with a mental illness, whether it be an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia or any of the others.

I don't know what the statistics are for other countries. Perhaps international members can educate me?

I hope this can be a place where we can be brave enough to share our stories and support each other.

Usually we are only talked about if there's been a mass shooting or when people use the terms "crazy".

We are people, we have feelings and many of us just need some support. Whether it be therapy or medication or a combination. Or something completely different that works for us.



I am living with depression with psychotic features and I manage it with Latuda.

I have had one psychotic episode in my life and it happened when I was 24.

I was in the hospital for a week.

I am now back in school and volunteering.

I also see a therapist and psychiatrist to monitor my progress.

I also attend art therapy and social skills group.

I am still working on becoming more independent.

I am learning to not be a perfectionist and forgive myself.

Your not alone, I have severe manic depression with a touch of anxeity. I did not have a such a great childhood. Spent most my young life in children services, listening to the lies of my father, wondering where was my mother, begging for anything to save me. As I got older, the worse it grew. Hit showed itself when I was 18, got worse in my 20s. It ruined a 10 year relationship with someone I love very much and to this day I regret every foght I've ever had with this person because I had no control or thought to what I was doing and I find it hard to forgive myself. I have thought of dying sometimes but I am too much of a coward to do it. I have thought of why I even exist, spending endless nights sobbing into a pillow only to be calmed down by my support cat, who comes to check on me and help me sleep. I've been taking antidepressants for almost 4-5 months. It's tolerable.....the voices are gone...but the pain is still there....it's a fight I have to survive...for the people that love me....I have to win.

[Gryphaena]

Welcome Nat and Shunte!

My symptoms aren't like yours, Nat, but I'm glad that you've found support online since it sounds like you're not getting any in other parts of your life.

Thank you, Shunte, for reminding me I'm not alone.

I think that's something we can all remember.

Somebody cares about us.

I, too, didn't have the best childhood, it took me going to a workshop on healthy relationships to understand that.

But we know that's not how we want to treat other people in our lives.

[Shunte]

Welcome Nat and Shunte!

My symptoms aren't like yours, Nat, but I'm glad that you've found support online since it sounds like you're not getting any in other parts of your life.

Thank you, Shunte, for reminding me I'm not alone.

I think that's something we can all remember.

Somebody cares about us.

I, too, didn't have the best childhood, it took me going to a workshop on healthy relationships to understand that.

But we know that's not how we want to treat other people in our lives.

Sometimes I forget that people do care about me...it's just hard to really accept that kind of love when I struggled to understand it for so long. Something I'm still to this day not use to.

[Breech Loader]

(Note 'you' does not refer to anybody here)

The worst thing is that people don't seem to get that the solutions that seem so easy to them are so tiring to use.

There was this guy I met - a very nice guy, I should add - and when I tried to explain how it's tough to interact when you have AS,he was all "How about you learn to fake your social skills? Why don't you learn to be like everybody else?" I felt like punching him in the nose.

Why don't I learn to fake it? I already do fake it. It's tiring. I fake it to the best of my ability and it's tiring beyond comprehension. And I still don't get it right.

Why don't I learn to fake social skills so that I can look like everybody else? Well you don't go up to a guy in a wheelchair and say "Why don't you learn to fake walking?" You don't step up to a blind person and say "Why don't you learn to fake seeing?" You don't go up to a black guy and say "Why don't you fake being white?"

Why don't I work on my social skills? Why don't THEY work on accepting me the way I am?

This post has been edited by Breech Loader: Aug 29 2016, 08:01 AM

[PandoraTheDragon]

hi,,, (first post here we Go)
i uh
i have autism (aspergers w/e,,, diagnosed when i was little) and probably some other things but i don't know uh
i'm pretty sure that i do have anxiety of some sort but i've never been to any sort of brain person because i don't think my mom would let me... and that i dont know?? what it would be like?? the thought of it makes me really nervous and uncomfortable and i get really upset :0
and i'm only 15 so i feel like,,, maybe people won't take me seriously or anything,, and i always wonder if we even have the money to get help and i decide that evne if we do it'd probably be a waste of money because the person would probably not even be the right sort of thing for me and we'd have to just. spend more money doing something else...
i always worry about this sort of thing. like. i feel like its not even worth it doing anything because it probably won't work for me or whatever and just. why does it even matter anymore

abt the autism thing: its bad
i have to be in the class with. the other kids with the weird brains because in the "normal" classes i just freak the heck out because everyone always seems to be a step ahead of me and there's just a lot of people and things to do and so little time and its basically Actual Hell.jpg

other garbage: i never let go of bad memories and stuff,,, i hold grudges a lot and i get horrible violent thoughts and i think of all these horrible things to say when i get really upset
i have awful self-esteem and sometimes i just. cant stop thinking about how i'll probably never be successful because my brains are terrible and then ????????????????????
i get really clingy to people and if my friends aren't on skype or w/e then i get upset,,, i don't know if this is normal or not but i really like attention (oops)

i can't
think of anything else right now but. yeah

[Gryphaena]

Welcome, everybody!

I hope the end of the year isn't being stressful for anyone, be it holidays or finishing up finals.

I hope we all stay safe, no matter how we choose to celebrate things.

[Gryphaena]

So I hope everyone is coping with their symptoms, I had a few delusions on Friday that weirded me out.

I gotta remember to take my medicine on time.

Everyone is practicing self-care, I hope!

[Kibum]

I've never been formally diagnosed with anything, but I really think I have a mild case of anxiety. Sometimes I shut down in social situations or places where there's a lot of people. My chest tightens up, I get dizzy and my vision spins. I find it hard to breathe and my skin feels like it's got bugs on them. The last time it happened, I was in a mall. I remember my mind just going "Wow, there are so many people," and then those things happened. I'm also prone to overthinking and have been kept up for several nights over something I did like, four months ago. Sometimes I feel like my own friends don't want to talk to me so I end up avoiding them, which makes them avoid me, which confirms my belief that they don't want to talk to me ( ahhh, I don't know if what I said proves anything, but it sucks big time when it feels like my own brain is against me.

On another note, I'm currently conducting a case study in my high school, and a good percent (around 30%) of the student population reported signs of depression and/or generalized anxiety disorder. Since I live in a--well, not progressive, by any means--third-world country, none of this is acknowledged.

[Gryphaena]

Oh man, I'm sorry you have to deal with that, Kibum.

I may be able to relate a bit to your anxiety, I can remember two instances where I was in a social situation and suddenly my heart goes real fast, I started to feel hot and I wondered if I was dying.

I don't know if they were panic attacks or not, but it was scary.

It's too bad that some countries don't acknowledge conditions like mental illness and/or anxiety.

It sounds like doing so would help so many young people of the place.

[Gryphaena]

Has anyone here had a friend disclose to you that they were feeling like they were in an emotional crisis?

One of my friends shared she was feeling that way to me and I let her know she isn't alone and if she wants help, I can point some resources her way.

I was glad she chose counseling.

I'm also glad that our school has counseling in the first place.

[Gryphaena]

How is everyone?

The thread's been quiet, might be my fault.

I am having a refresher of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with my at least 5th so far therapist.

My first therapist and I did CBT, but then the next one went a kind of New Age-y alternative route which was interesting.

I think I can understand the CBT better.

[LucarioGirl]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in my second-to-last year of high school. At that time, I was relieved. Finally, I had a name for why I always seemed... off. I was the kid on the playground who was always picked on for being 'weird', and I knew I was weird, but I couldn't figure out why. I knew my thoughts often went on a different track than other kids. I was smart for my age, and I got frustrated when my classmates didn't get concepts that I found simple, but socially I was... for lack of a better word, 'stunted'. My mom said it always feels like I'm younger than I am, and she says there's nothing wrong with that and I just need to go at my own pace.

Of course, this comes with some other problems backpacking along with it, like OCD and resistant eating. I actually have given myself health problems because I refuse to drink water unless there's absolutely no other option. I have difficulty getting past the interview part of getting a job, so I currently have no stable income and have to rely on employment aid. I spend most of my time indoors on my computer and don't really have any kind of social life because talking to people just makes me feel awkward. Either I'm so quiet I can't get a word in, or I start talking and I can't shut up. I also get really scared in tight spaces ever since I accidentally got myself locked in my dad's car trunk during a game of hide-and-seek.

[Gryphaena]

Hello LucarioGirl!

My second therapist and second psychiatrist both thought I was on the autism spectrum and I think I agree, so I think I can relate to feeling wierd, I too, knew I was different than other people.

I was picked on when I was younger as well.

Instead of OCD and resistant eating, I have depression with psychotic features and am pre-diabetic.

I was only employed once, and I think it was because the people conducting the interview for that job knew me already, so that's why it was so easy.

I also like being on the computer, but I cannot stand an indoors job. I need to be outside working with plants or I'll get bored.

I have to be moving or I start feeling sleepy.

Do you have any people you feel comfortable around?

My clinic was wise enough to start social skills groups for us so we could socialize with other people with mental illnesses.

I was even fortunate to be able to make some shallow friendships who I still see on campus and say "Hi" to.

I am sorry you were once locked in a trunk, that is a cruel thing to do in my opinion.

[AregularFrankief...]

I know that I suffer from several mental illnesses, I've known and researched for years at this point, but since everyone refuses to have me clinically diagnosed [bleh, restrictive family], very few people take my statements as truth. But, like, doctors get things wrong all the time, and it's possible for you do to extensive research yourself, so there's that.