[X] My Assistant

[Shiny Ninetales]

Move toward the door. Circle away from the big red headed guy. Move toward the door...

A voice? Telepathy? Are they going to help me? Maeko thought to herself as Hinata sent a message into her mind to move towards the door. At first she did not trust the man’s message but she noticed that he had not told his pokemon to attack Rin yet and believed he had at least a sliver of good intentions with his actions.

“Rin use TAUNT!” Maeko simply said as she started to move away from Jay and towards the door.

I hope that he has something in mind…

[Master Houndoom]

Oh, now what'd you go and do that for?!

Videl seemed to change, going from nearly vacuously happy to snarling the instant the sneasel taunted her. She opened her mouth and let loose a stream of vile, brown Smog.

"She's attacking. Why is she attacking?!"

She told her pokemon to taunt Videl! Videl's gone Dark, I can't communicate with her anymore...

Videl was rare amoung dark pokemon, in that her normally happy demeanor allowed for Hinata, who was also a little gloomy, to communicate with her. In the heat of a pitched battle, when Videl was most prone to anger, that communication was often severed.

"Well, that's just fabulous!" Jay sighed. What small plan he had was flying out the window. Then, a very scary, very fortunate thing happened. An ember flew between he and Hinata, landed on an overturned chair, and set it on fire. The chair, and then the table, began to go up in flames. The crowd panicked, and the Magma guards moved from their positions to deal with the situation.

Hinata..!

I'm on it! to the girl, who they couldn't see well in the smog, she said, if you have a clear path, run out the door! Use the crowd as cover! We'll deal with the guards! GO

"She's getting away," Jay cried, pointing to the kitchen away from the front door.

oh, and don't go behind the restaurant, run away from it...

[Dmitri Shostakov...]

Blank let Tharesa and her Absol make the first move. She seemed to be amused with the little Wynaut. She told it to start with Tackle. She obviously wasn't very worried about the fight, as she was not bothered at all when the Absol missed the first Tackle. Blank whispered to Weiss, "Use Encore."

Weiss followed the command, forcing the Absol to keep trying to Tackle him. Every time he managed to hit, Weiss used Counter. The damage dealt to the Absol was twice that of what was being dealt to Weiss. His opponent was frustrated that she had been outsmarted by Blank. He seemed to be the bane of her existence.

She shouted, "You ragamuffin! You don't know what it is like to lose when you are in my position!"

Blank was stunned. What he was doing to her was exactly the same thing that had happened to him! He had been kicked out of the rich district himself. They weren't paying her to win, they were threatening her position in society! Beating her would be the same as sentencing his child self to the suffering he was in for.

Blank called out to Weiss, but it was too late. The two Pokemon bounced off each other one last time, knocking each other out. They would have to use a second Pokemon in a tiebreaker brawl. Blank brought out Sabre. He was going to let her win. The Sableye would not be trying in the upcoming fight.

Tharesa shrieked, "NO! I didn't bring a second Pokemon. I was expecting to win! They told me I would!"

She shouted more protestations as goons from Team Magma carried her away. Blank was stunned at her arrogance. He realized she deserved it. She was not the same as him. He used his wealth for the good of Noverus, which cost him his fortune. This lady had done nothing but indulge herself.

Blank walked back to his room. The guard threw two Persim Berries and a Revive at him. He revived his Wynaut, then asked where his food was. The guard threw another Persim Berry at him. "Bon appetite," sneered the guard as he closed the door. Blank grimaced as he bit into the berry. He said to the closed door, "Some day I'll be feeding you berries."

[Shiny Ninetales]

After Rin made a silly dance that made Jay's Videl go completely berserk, Maeko realized that she may have accidentally screwed up the whole plan of escape as Videl blew a blast of poisonous air at the direction of herself and Rin. There was not much for Maeko to do, other than to panic, as she stood there and watched the poisonous cloud of smoke moved towards her. Rin, on the other hand was completely in control of her emotions, quickly ran up to Maeko and pushed her master away from the dangerous smog. Then Maeko began to smell something had begun to burn and that did not help the little girl calm down any bit, especially add the fact a group of Magmas just emerged from a door right next to her.

“OH GET THE HELL AWAY!” Maeko yelled as she sent Alto out and he did his usual nuts crushing that he does so well with his Shadow Sneak attack, but one of them seemed not to be affected by Alto’s attack. Maeko then realized that the man that was still standing was none other than Bob, the grunt she had knocked out a day ago, and apparently he decided to protect himself with a cup.

“You’re that little brat! Hohoho I’m going to give you a lesson in PAIN,” Bob yelled as he began to run after Maeko, who simply just turned around and ran towards the nearest place she could hide in, the kitchen. Maeko’s hope of hiding away was quickly stifled when she walked right into a room full of Magma grunts in aprons that had the annoying Magma insignia stitched on top of it, and quite poorly stitched.

“Oh… crap,” Maeko simply muttered as Rin stood in front of her master to protect the little girl as soon as the Magma grunts noticed that Maeko was not suppose to be in there. It was then when Virus popped out of his usual hiding place, Maeko’s Pokétch. There was a silent gaze exchange between Virus and the grunts before the cyber Pokémon let out a beam of psychic energy. It was only a matter of seconds before the Kitchen staff was thrown into chaos and Maeko simply stood there in shock before Rin pushed the girl into a small pot.

It was a good thing that she did especially when one of Virus’s Psybeams managed to break a gas pipe and when the gas leaked towards the cooking pot.

“OKAY! LITTLE BRAT I’M GONNA… OH FU-” Bob yelled right before the explosion blasted him away and into some chairs. The lucky bastard was still alive after the incident though.

“BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” Virus beeped to Rin and Maeko as the smoke slowly began to fade away and the gas safety measure kicked in and stopped the gas to leak any more. Maeko simply slowly crawled out of the pot as she saw that all the Magma grunts was on the ground out cold.

“Oh… finally something good has happened.”

[Troy Bolton]

"He asks for information then he asks if I use a curler. DO I LOOK LIKE I USE A CURLER!?"

`~` `~` `~`

"Kenny Blank, a level 2 competitor, in a mismatched battle..."

"Why didn't you tell me before?! Didn't I say I wanted the mismatches ended?!"

Colonel Mustard's House of Mustard- "More Mustard Than Your Body can Take!"

Outskirts

On a dry afternoon in Hoenn, an accountant drove a solitary path along a road in western Noverus. His path was efficient, and his face—barely visible beneath untold layers of blue hair—betrayed an bored, slightly angered expression.

`~`
It was only lucky he had his moped. The speedometer barely dipped below 7 as the accountant sped through the district, tie flapping in the stagnant air.

The Colonel might have been a war hero, but he was clearly not successful in the selling of pungent spices. The sign hung on a few stubborn nails, and half seemed to be burnt. The Colonel himself- a 6 and a half feet tall statue- was covered in what seemed to be Murkrow dung. Seymour glanced up, and a murder of Murkrows were looking back.

"Krow! Krow!"

"Ah, zip it." Bulvan* Murkrows. This was the place, right? The building itself was half sunk into the desert, and hungry Sandshrews rolled around after each other, and another pair were...

"Yerk, gai feifen ahfen yam!"*

In any case, it was getting dark, so he'd better be going soon. He punched in a couple of numbers on his Gear, intent upon yelling at the sandy haired Magma for giving him the wrong address...


-Crunch, crunch.-

Huh?

-Crunch, crunch.-

It was coming from behind the Colonel...

Seymour drew close...*

And a foot wide HOLE ripped through the Colonel's chest, and Seymour wished he remembered how they killed the thing in Alien.*

Frantically, he opened his briefcase and threw a Pokeball.

"Let's go, Shmendrick!"

The Wynaut appeared, happy if not a bit confused.

"Shmendrick, use Counter!" The happy Pokemon grew rigid, its small body glowing blue. The steel thing threw itself at the Bright Pokemon, and Wynaut fell back as the vaguely doglike thing fell back, as well.

"Alright, here's a little present for you from Tomaski Accounting!" Seymour spread out his feet, readjusted his tie, threw his Pokeball, and!

Missed.

He threw another, and!

Missed again.

He threw another, and!

Mushnik appeared. Seymour gave a sigh.

"Mushnik, get the Balls."

The balloon returned the balls, one at a time, and it gave Seymour the chance to identify the Pokemon. An Aron, the little bugger.

"Alright, Pokeball, go!"

~Ten minutes later~

It was lucky the Aron had found a dump truck to eat.

"One more time, Pokeball!"

Finally, by some sheer act of luck and Hashem, the Pokeball connected, and by another sheer chance, the Aron did not resist, probably due to a belly full of dump truck.

"I'll name you later. Let's go, fellas."

"Sir?" came the PokeGear.

"Not a sir."

"Did I say Colonel Mustard? I meant Colonel Randers! It's an old abandoned KFF- you know, a Kanto Fried Farfetch'd!

~Level 11 Aron Captured~

[Master Houndoom]

What...JUST... happened?!

Jay was trying to see through thew smog to find his dark puppy pokemon, which, understandably, caused him to be a bit distracted. "Hmm?"

With the girl! What happened?

"I dunno, looks like she was going the wrong way. We did what we could, now it's time to go." He held up the pokeball and recalled Videl into it.

So we're just going to leave her like this?

"Look, if we run into her in the chaos, we'll help her, but right now I just don't want to burn!" He turned to run off, and was halted by a large brute of a Magma woman.

"You helped that kid escape?!"

um... Look out behind you?

"Thanks, Hina!" Jay ducked under the Magma mammoth's swinging arm, and came face to face with her geodude. "Hinata, confusion!"

The ralts' eyes glowed, and a spiderweb of veins bulged around her eyes. The rock began banging itself against the ground, slamming into the Magma's foot. "OW!"

"Time to go!" Jay dashed past her, dragging Hinata along like a. green, white, black and red balloon.

Hey! Hinata righted herself, just before Jay brought her black and white pokeball up to recall her. Nooo, she whined in his mind, my head paint!

Her mental curse was ignored as Jay depressed the button, calling her into the pokeball. As smoke and Magmas poured from the building, he ran as fast as he could through the shadows of nearby buildings.

It almost didn't surprise him when he was spotted. It was broad daylight after all. "There," groaned the large magma woman, favoring her crushed foot. "Bring him back to me so I can tear him limb from limb!"

Sunuvacrap!

Jay was already running when he heard the shouts and footfalls of three or more people charging behind him. He flexed his grounded knee to the side and pushed off of it, spinning slightly to head down the alley on his right. He heard at least one body smack into the wall at the entrance. A laugh escaped him.

Jay always felt a thrill when he ran, feeling his muscles flex, his blood churning through his veins. His mind seemed to clear, and he took in the rougheer texture of the walls. He spun onto the next street, jumping on and charging up the high, flat handrail rather than going up the stairs.

His pursuers where still behind him, but losing ground. One, probably the same that hit the wall earlier, Jay thought, tried to mimic his move with the handrail, but lost his balance early and fell chin first into it.

This time, Jay did laugh.

* * * * *

I could have helped, you know, Hinata griped. Jay smirked, looking up at her from her place on his shoulder.

"I was running, Hina, not fighting."

Yeah, you don't need me for that, either.

"Don't be a sorehead. I told you, there's more paint. I even bought different colors, in case you wanted to try them." Jay grinned as Hinata pictured herslef in yellow, purple, and magenta, and thought the images to him.

Naaaaaah.

"Anyway," Jay said, walking down the road toward the warehouse district, "we need to find a new hideout."

Just as they were about to turn down the area between two warehouses, one a few lots down collapsed in flames.

Let's try the other side of town...

"Yeah, let's," Jay smirked, turning and walking back the way he came.

* * * * *

He hadn't gotten far from the building he'd rented in when a man, in his late twenties, approached him. He sidled up to Jay as he walked. Jay idly put his hand closer to his pokeball belt. If this guy was a threat, he was getting a face full of Videl.

"I saw what you did at that so called tournament, kid," the man began.

Jay's hand folded around Videl's ball. "Yeah? What'd you think you saw?"

The man smirked. "Smart, kid. You were helping the girl, weren't you?"

Jay stayed silent. The man actually had the nerve to grin. "I think you should come with me."

Just as Jay grabbed Videl's ball and was about to yell, "I think you should eat fiery death!" The man grabbed his wrist and pulled, twisting Jay's arm behind his back and pushing him to the ground.

"That was almost clever, kid."

"Thanks," came Jay's muffled reply.

"Like I said, I think you should come with me. Despite that little display, we think you'd be a good addition to Team Aqua."

He let Jay go, and the red head stood. Brushing himself off, he glared at the man. "What took you so long?"

((Ooc: this ends Jay's involvement in this RP))

This post has been edited by Jaima: Apr 16 2009, 09:53 PM

[Troy Bolton]

~Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir~

The woefully underpowered motor whined as Seymour zipped through the cramped streets. If he so desired (and he didn't), he could outstretch his arms and touch building on both sides.

Sandy was yelling at him through the Gear.

"Sir, my name isn't Sandy! That's a girl's name! My name is Bi-"

"Shut up, you have sandy coloured hair, so you're Sandy."

"It's not even that sandy! It's more like dirty blonde! Anywa- what?!" Somebody spoke to Sandy. "On FIRE?"

CONNECTION LOST.

Seymour had never realized how nice and quiet the city was. But a fire...? He did sort of like fires. Mostly cause he liked fire engines, and the smell, but whatever. It was as he was passing a warehouse near the Port District that he stopped.

Smoke- nay, fog- was wafting from its windows. The cold, low howl of a Houndoor swept through the bright day, and he shuddered despite himself. A door slammed open, but Seymour didn't have a chance to see who it was-

You see, then the warehouse blew up. It was already falling apart, but with a resolute BAM, it just collapsed. Mr. Tomaski fell off his moped.

Connection Re-established!

"Sandy!? Sandy! Come in!"

"Yeah, Seymour? Hey, did you hear that-"

"Yes, I did! Don't call me Seymour, first off. But more importantly, I have the source. There's a derelict old warehouse in the Port District. It just blew u-"

"THE PORT DISTRICT? Get outta there now!"

"B-but-"

"Now! That's Aqua territory, and there's this psycho field agent out there! People say she's a witch!"

Seymour would have scoffed, but something about that fog and that howl silenced him.

"Fine. Coordinates?"

Kentucky Fried Farfetch'd

The Gear had gone down again.

Damn Fletchers and their finicky technology.

Oh well. Besides that warehouse, it had been a nice day. Blue skies, only slightly filthy streets, and a plume of smoke.

A plume of smoke?!*And what was it Sandy had said about a fire?

Seymour literally followed his nose _{AND ALL THE FRESH FLAVOURS} to the KFF.

"Aw, tuches.*"

Of course it was on fire. Nothing else had gone right.

Magma grunts were everywhere, and somebody was running into the shadows. Seymour almost just turned around, went back to his apartment, and managed that mom 'n' pop account. But it wouldn't be right.

The harder thing, the better thing to do would be to help.

"You!" A shout that could have been directed at anyone. The fleeing shadow, perhaps the screaming Magmas, or maybe just the man with a sandwich board that declared ARCEUS IS DEAD.

But no, Seymour turned around. A ripped Magma stood before him. His muscles bulged, he distractedly noted, as saliva flew from his mouth. His left boot was also partially on fire.

"You set this on fire, didn't you!"

"M-me? N-no! I just got here, see my moped?" He was not to be swayed.

"You're gonna pay! Killer, Doodlez! Let's go!!!!"

Now, what breed of Pokemon could possibly bear such names of power? Gyrados and Mightyena? Persian and Electivire? Muk and Gallade?

Or Rattata and Pidgey. That works too.

"Oh, you want to play, boychik? Well, I love games! Mushnik, Aron!"

Then he paused.

"It just doesn't sound right. Ah well." The grunt made the first move.

"KILLER! TACKLE ATTACK!" The rat ran itself at Aron, throwing itself at it, and duly hitting. A dull ringing noise could be heard.

"Oh! How about Bararuch? Means blessing! I like it! Ok, Bararuch, Headbutt!" The little monster bounced backwards, and rammed its 100% iron head into the fluffy hair of the rat. The latter went flying, right into a trash can, which promptly closed.

"You didn't think that one out, eh, shmegegi?"

Meanwhile, Mushnik and Doodlez the Pidgey were having their own useless aerial battle- Doodlez used Tackle, and Mushnik used Astonish.

"Oi, Mushnik! Shrinky-dink Combo!" The grunt couldn't help but laugh.

"Shrinky-dink? I think my little sister has one of those!" His laughter was stifled as the bird squealed, and fell to the ground.

"What did you do?!" shouted the far too buff man.* The grin that followed could put the Chesire Cat to shame.

"Mushnik used Constrict, then Minimized to strangle it. Don't worry, it `should` be fine." Seymour chuckled, returning his Pokemon. The rage that followed would make a Gyrados blush.

"You little- Dozer, go!"

"There's nobody to attack. What are yo-" His eyes widened, and it was the biggest stretch of his weakling body that let him dodge the Rhyhorn's charge.

"You can't attack a trainer directly!" shouted he.

"Says who?" But slowly, he was reaching for his last Pokeball. A desperate plan, but a plan nonetheless.

The Rhyhorn reared back...he held the button ready.

It charged.

"Shmendrick, Counter!" And threw the ball directly in front of him. The Wynaut came from the ball glowing.

WHAM

.

"Now, my awards money."

"Y-yes." He duly pulled his wallet out and laid 500 POKE.

"Now, come on. It's half your wallet. That's ridiculous."

"B-but...I need it."

"Fine then. Information. Have you seen a man about 6 feet, red hair, light skin..."

"Yeah. He ran out of there, but some Magmas went after him."

"And you didn't think that, you know, maybe he caused this?"

It was later now. The fire truck had came- much to Seymour's delight- but so had another murder of Murkrow. He hated Murkrow. He hated their dumb heads, and how they looked like hats. The Magma said nothing, only looked down. And so the mighty is tamed by the meek.

"How about a young girl, with blue hair, really pale skin?"

"No."

"Dammit."

Seymour turned to leave.

"Wait!"

He didn't even turn around, just stopped.

"What?"

"What's your name?"

"Me?" He angled his face around.

"I'm Seymour."*

~Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir~

OOC: Kay, let's wrap this up soon. Maybe 2 more posts each.

[Shiny Ninetales]

Maeko stood there a few minutes as she tried to think out a plan to get out of the Magma base without attracting a lot of attention. Well she thought up a good one when she noticed there was a boy similar in her size and he was wearing a Magma uniform. She decided it would be best to do a little bit of Magma cosplaying to get out of this place. With the help of Rin and Alto, Maeko dragged the knocked out boy next to a cabinet before she stripped him of outer uniform; she decided it give the boy some dignity since he was about her age.

“Okay… now time to leave this place… ara?” Maeko muttered to herself as a Pokéball rolled from the boy’s belt and into her foot. It had a Magma insignia on it and she simply smiled. If someone had stopped her midway she could simply show off the Pokéball to prove she was a “teammate” of the stupid Magmas. After she returned everyone she owned back into their Pokéballs and taken a few days worth of food, Maeko made her way out of the kitchen and simply followed the remaining stragglers out the building. Maeko also made sure her most noticeable feature, her light blue hair, was tucked underneath the Magma hat before she walked out of the kitchen.

As Maeko silently made her way out of the underground arena, she noticed a familiar figure battling another person; it was the man that ordered a grunt to give her food and a revive when she was beaten in her first match. Maeko decided it was best to observe the battle so she could familiarize herself with the man’s battling style. When she saw the other magma grunt told his Rhyhorn to attack the man, she only thought how disgusting the tactics that the Magmas used to get an advantage. It’s no wonder that they had a firm grip on Novelus all these years. As Wynaut used counter, Maeko quickly hid behind a car and out of Seymour’s view as she watched the battle finished and the man introduced himself as Seymour. Now that she had the name of the man that actually had a heart in Magma, Maeko decided it was best for her to leave the topic place and out into the heart of Novelus.

“Ah… Freedom… it’s so nice…” Maeko muttered to herself as she reached a cave in a small forest that was a few hours walk from where she was once imprisoned. With nothing much to do, Maeko decided to make a camp inside the cave and released all of her Pokémon. After a few orders, Maeko had a fire going with the help of her companions and now was looking at the Pokéball she had snatched from the knocked out Magma.

“I wonder what Pokémon is this is… well whoever you are… you’re free,” Maeko simply muttered as a small Yanma burst from the Pokéball and stared at Maeko with an odd expression. A few seconds later it struck the Pokéball to break it and stared at Maeko for a few minutes before it started to poke Maeko in the head.

“Oy! You’re free! Do you want me to fight and catch you?” Maeko asked as she turned to look at the Yanma and its head moved up and down. With a sigh, Maeko sent Rin out to fight it and commanded the Sneasel to use a screech attack. After Rin had let out a loud long screech, the Yanma simply charged at Rin and struck Rin right into the wall.

“Quick! Use Quick Attack!” Maeko simply commanded Rin after Yanma made its attack. Using the cave rocky terrain to her advantage, Rin jumped from wall to wall before striking the Yanma cleanly from behind and into the ground. The Yanma simply retaliated with a high speed strike of its own and knocked Rin right into the rocky wall.

“Eek! Rin! You okay?” Maeko simply exclaimed as she ran over to Rin to check if she was okay. Utterly confused by Maeko’s action, Yanma approached Maeko and landed on the ground next to her and simply observed Maeko with utmost curiosity; Yanma’s last owner was someone that was quite frankly a cruel owner. Maeko ignored the Yanma as she tended to Rin’s injury and wondered why the Yanma had not run when it had its chance. So Maeko simply turned to look at it and said, “Why are you still here? You know you’re free to go. You beaten Rin and I don’t think my other two pokes could strike you down. Well if you want to… you can come with me? Was your last owner mean?”

“Yanma…” Yanma buzzed happily as it landed on top of Maeko’s head and nodded its head in agreement to Maeko’s statement. Happy that she had a new companion, Maeko placed an unused Pokéball on Yanma’s head and with a loud ting the Yanma was caught.

“I’m naming you… Mac,” Maeko said to herself when Yanma’s information appeared on her Pokétch to reveal that the Yanma was male.

Level 7 Yanma Caught… Hopefully…

[Dmitri Shostakov...]

Blank had one last battle, it seemed. Was the tournament wrapping up already?

His guard pushed into the arena one last time. Was it true? Was Blank finally going to win the tournament? Could he really be headed for the Rich District? He hoped so, for he could finally begin to try and get back his parents from the clutches of Magma. He waited for his opponent to step forward.

He watched in horror as a massive Aqua grunt stepped into the arena. Team Aqua had thrown in their lot in this tournament, too? Perhaps it wasn't completely run by Team Magma, after all. Or was he acting on his own?

Little did Blank know that this man was a Team Magma spy. Team Aqua had sent him here to see what Team Magma was doing with the underground betting rings. They did not know he was a double agent, working for Team Magma. However, he was just a big, scary man to Blank.

The announcer shouted excitedly, "Tournament finals! Francis vs. Kendrick Blank. DOUBLE BATTLE!"

Blank looked into the crowd. They were all placing large bets on his opponent. Blank gulped, realizing he was about to get trampled. His fear for what would happen to him overrode his anger at the announcer for saying his first name. He could be executed, or worse. It seemed the best solution, sadly would be to be thrown back onto the streets.

Blank threw Sabre and Weiss out of their Poke Balls. He realized that their first tag-team together was to be a massacre, and not in their favor. He winced as the hulk Francis brought out his Feraligatr and Huntail. He tried to ignore his Pokemon's cries of terror, focusing on how his opponent's muscles were barely held in by the Aqua uniform.

"Huntail! Surf!" roared Francis. A sudden calm came over Blank. He simply watched as the massive wall of water smashed into his Pokemon, and then into him. Blank lost consciousness to the tune of Sableye and Wynaut shrieks.

Blank awoke on the street. He looked around to see he was in the same place where the gang had forced him to join in the first place. Only one of them was there now. He was standing there, laughing. He had wads of cash stuffed in his pockets. He saw that Blank was awake, and began to speak:

"You've made a rich man, Blank. I'm glad you didn't win, though. I got most of my money from the last battle! Hrahahaha! I'm in such a good mood, I'll even give you a booby prize!"

The thug handed Blank a Poke Ball then walked away. Blank looked to see Weiss and Sabre lying unconscious on either side of him. He waited until they were awake, then revealed what was in the Poke Ball. It was a Grimer.

"Gri-mer! Griiiii-mer!" shouted the Grimer. Blank said, "You shall be Little Miss Sludge."

Little Miss Sludge seemed excited at her new name. She shouted loudly to Weiss and Sabre, "GRIIIMMERRR!"

All four of them laughed, happy they had survived.

This is my exit post.

[Troy Bolton]

"They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair."

"Why, sir? You have a full head of hair...?"

"To get rid of the blue. If it grows real fast, I won't have ridiculous hair anymore."

"Ah."

"Yes."

It was awkward now.

"Well, Mr. Tomaski. You've lost all of your clients, so Corporate no longer requires your services.A representative will be at your apartment to discuss your performance, payment and possible future within the company. You may need to take a more active role."

"You mean...?"

"Yeah."

END TRANSMISSION.

"Aw, putz."

`~`~`~`~`

Seymour's Apartment

There were two of them. They had balaclavas.

Seymour walked in, to the scent of bagels and lox. The elevator had broken and fat old Lady Dansbury was just starting up, so he had thought it'd be better to climb up via the fire escape. 20 minutes and more scrapes than he cared to mention, he opened his door and entered.

The salmon wrapper was on the ground, and angrily he picked it up and threw it out before thinking. Someone's gotten into the lox. You smell it before you see it. He sees a figure, sitting in his kitchen, before he spins around, waving his briefcase like a cudgel and oh no there's a second one-

dark.

`~`~`~`~`

"No, there's never a trampoline at a parade, what'chu talking 'bout?" Eyes cracked open, pieces of him lie scattered on the floor, which, by the way, has never been so cold and sticky. Move, he screams at himself, but the tile has become bonded to him. It's all he can do to form half-sentient thought. He falls, and it takes strong hands to grab him by the throat and slap him sober.

Blood, Wynaut, and salmon. The light assaults.

"Ah, he's waking up. You remembah'-"

"Yeah, I remembah'." They rip through the haze. They're bigger than average, muscular, especially in comparison to the accountant more used to the Apple Store than a punching bag.

"Well, hi, Seymour." The one on the left takes a big bite out of his bagel. Fish and cream cheese drip onto the floor. He almost tells them off, but vocalization is far beyond him right now. They're smiling. Why are they smiling?

"How ya feelin', Seymour?"

His head's full of water, and it's all he can do to keep afloat. A scream of teal, but it's not Schmendrick.

"My Wynaut..." he groans. The rest of the thought promptly drowns.

"He needs a wash."

"Is he alright?" Plodding, fearful.

"And maybe more time in his ball."

"Is he alright?" A bit more forceful.

"Gee," the second takes a bite, "Tim, I'm not sure I like Seymour's tone right there. It's, uh..." He snaps at Seymour.

"Rude?" he croaks. Synonyms are the last thing on his mind.

"Nah."

"Disdainful?" suggests his mate.

"Yea', that's it. Seymour." The word is like a stray lemon seed, has to be spit out. He leans close, and Seymour notices he's been lifted off the floor onto a chair.

"Seymour, we know you saw J running."

"I didn't know it was him!" Why, why, why is he arguing with a man with cudgels for arms? He gets a slap for that, and the world dissolves for a good half a minute into black and red. When his heart begins its dogged pulse again, they start.

"Sure you didn't." Tim puts his bagel down.

"Any left for me?" Drunk on pain.

"We gave the other to your Wynaut."

"Oh."

Colour slowly returns to the world, and there is absolutely nothing funny about a pink balaclava. Not now, at least.

"Now, you're wondering why we're here, eh?"

"Y-"

"Don't say anything, it hurts to hear you talk."

"We're here, for you, Seymour."

"Now, give us your Gear." He doesn't have the strength to clench a hand, so he holds it up and it gets pulled off. The reverse is carefully removed with a tiny screwdriver. Tim pries out the SD card and swaps it with one of his own. It's forgotten in seconds.

Seymour groans.

"Now, quit whining, we all have to pitch in and-" Tim snaps at his mate again. His mate does nothing.

"Gary!"

"Oh! Endure. We have to endure, gotta suffer fer the good 'a humanity."

"Who sent you?" A stab in the dark.

"Don't take us fer fools, Seymour." A punch in the gut. Followed by itching.

"Dammit, can't I take this off?" He's getting at his balaclava.

"Just 10 minutes, Gary."

"I guess..." Gary takes the now empty plates and begins to wash them.

"Don't bother," mutters Seymour, "I'll have the maid do it."

"Well, it's awkward otherwise."

"Fair enough."

He washes them, and when he finishes, he and Tim sit down. Tim leans forward.

"Now, Seymour. I'm gonna give you a card. Tomorrow, or the next day, you're gonna call the number on it. Someone will tell you a place to go to, and you will. Else..."

"Else," says Gary, "we'll be seeing each other real soon. And you won't have lox, next time. It was delicious, by the way, thank you, and sorry for polishing the rest off."

"Don't worry about it," he says automatically.

"Alright, Seymour, stand up. Got a delivery for you, 's why we're here."

He does.

"Now, remember, for the good of, uh," Tim snaps again.

"Mankind," says Seymour.

"Thank ya," says Tim, "sorry." He apologizes again and delivers a fist right into the kitzes.

"You got the card?" asks Gary.

"Yeah, let's go."

Steps fade, and the front door security alarm beeps once.

"Sorry, Seymour," comes one last shout from Tim.

"Can I take it off?"

"Oh, go on then."

The mind-water floods, and Seymour is sucked in.








Fin.