[X] My Assistant

[mewsie]

ok no pics but read and lagh ^^


Things I Must Not Do At Hogwarts

I shall not add 'according to the prophecy' at the end of my sentences to raise my Divination grade.

I am not to ask Aragog how things with the wife are- Especially if his wife is Shelob.

I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have a time turner.

“To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice. No, not even if I am a witch.

Providing Peeves with a case of Dungbombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again.

I will not call my wand “an elegant weapon from a more civilized age.”

I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached, as that is cruel..

My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not “Gandalf.”

I will not teach the house elfs to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

Yelling “To infinity and beyond” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

I will refrain from calling Harry and Ron “Frodo and Sam”.

I will refrain from calling the Weasley twins “Merry and Pippin.”

Telling Draco Malfoy to 'Make like a ferret and bounce' is always a bad idea.

Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

I will stop sneaking out at night to look for Ents in the Forbidden Forest.

I am not allowed to flood the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I will not tickle a sleeping dragon “just to see what happens.”

Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms.”

The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.

When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'Theses are not the droids you are looking for'.

I will not refer to DADA professors (or Gryffindor's) as 'Red Shirts'.

I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle collectively as 'Team Rocket'.

I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

I will not refer to the Accio Charm As "The Force"

I will stop telling treehuggers to go visit the Whomping Willow

Loudly repeating 'Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort' is not a good way to get the classroom quiet.

I must not stare out the window and smile at passing birds while a Professor is lecturing me.

I must not sing "I'm off to see the wizard" every time I am sent to the headmasters office

I must not throw Hermione’s Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom.

I will not tell Prof. Trelawny that my teacup says she's lying.

I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is "Petrificus Totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.

I Will not jump up, yelling "VOLDEMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a Order or DA meeting.

I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy place.”
Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

I must not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.

However tempting it may be, I will not send voldemort a christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

I will not point out to the house elfs how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.

I must not dress like Neville's grandmother when going to the Halloween Party in Snape's class.

I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.

I will not go to Divination and tell Professor Trewlaney that I see her death in my teacup.

I will not steal veritaserum from Snape´s store and add some to the teachers´ morning tea.

I am not allowed to taunt Professor McGonagall with Catnip.

When asked a question by a teacher I will not point out that the answer is protected by a fidelius charm and I am not the secret keeper.

I will not convince the firstyears that amulets of garlic will protect them in potions classes.

I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

I am not allowed to give first years incentives to go in and play with Fluffy.

I am also not allowed to tell them that the Whomping Willow is inaccurately named and is actually a wonderful spot for peaceful reading.

Do not jump out at Mad-Eye Moody for a joke.

The phrase "Good dragon, nice dragon, please doesn’t kill me," doesn't work.

I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the Batmobile, Robin!"

I must not make a fake journal and leave it in Ginny's dormitory saying its Cedric's.

I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows”

I must not ask Professor Lupin if he wears a flea collar.

I must not make fun of Professor Lupin’s “time of the month”

Growing Marijuana in Herbology does not count for extra credit.

I must not leave shampoo on Professor Snape’s desk with directions on how to use it.

I must not ask Harry if his “scar sense” is tingling.

Bringing a Magic 8 Ball to Divination does not count for extra credit.

I will not hit on Hermione while Ron is in the same room.

Ron Weasley does NOT know Kim Possible.

I will not ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss, because I know for sure that he would just say 'Well Hermione isn’t around is she?' "

I must not tell Ron and Hermione to “get a room” every time they start arguing.

I will not fill Umbridge's room with flies and then tell the headmaster “She was looking a little deprived; flies are what toads eat right?”

I will not splash water in Professor McGonagall's face, expecting her to melt.

No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

I will not spread my arms at the front of Durmstrang's ship and shout "I'm King of the World" because like the titanic it will end in diastar.

I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

I will not start humming the James Bond theme music everytime Snape enters the room

[Steel Metagross]

You misspelled 'Potter', and you typed it 'Poter'.

Here's one! "I must not put the Gryffindors and Slytherins in the same room and bet on who will come out alive."

[Mrs Snape]

-starts laughing-
I love these. All of them. especially the Snape ones. xDDDD

[Letan]

You misspelled 'Potter', and you typed it 'Poter'.

Here's one! "I must not put the Gryffindors and Slytherins in the same room and bet on who will come out alive."

And you dug up a two year-old thread. Please don't necropost.

Closed.