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Posted by: Squirtle Squad Feb 27 2011, 02:07 PM

Posted by: Axew Feb 27 2011, 02:27 PM

Not born... more nature and nurture.

Posted by: DocWorth Feb 27 2011, 02:48 PM

I don't think you can set it to "Born" or "made" for everyone. Everyone has different reasons for being gay, straight, bi or asexual. Some people have always been attracted to a certain gender. Other people may have an outside effect that change their views and feelings. Some people just fall in-love no matter what gender even if they hadn't felt that way for that certain gender before.

Posted by: SnowWhite Feb 28 2011, 05:24 PM

I don't think you have the right to "choose" your sexuality. The most I see about openly gay people, is that they go through a lot, both to be taken seriously and TO BE TRATED AS HUMAN BEINGS. Why would you wanna CHOOSE to go through that?
'Cause seriously, at lest in my country, saying "You're gay" is considered an insult. Straight people think being called gay is an insult.

Hell yeah, if someone were to tell me "You're gay", I'd say "So what? You're an idiot, and at least I can be proud of who I am"

But to answer the topic of discussion, because I'm told I shouldn't off-topic, the heart of the matter is: you don't choose who you love. And if that goes for age, it goes for gender too. I think "people who turned gay" didn't really TURN per se. They accepted they were gay all along. They finally stopped denying it to themselves.

Posted by: SnowWhite Feb 28 2011, 06:03 PM

Well, did it work?
It has never made much difference to me if the subject of my affection were a boy or a girl, so I'm not the best person to talk about "preferences"... But did he really turn gay? As in, started to feel attraction for the same sex?

Posted by: SnowWhite Feb 28 2011, 07:03 PM

Makes sense... I mean, sorta xD

Anyway it just proves my point about not being a matter of choice. I mean, even if you want to experiment, it doesn't mean you become gay or whatever. It just means you're sexually curious.
But I don't think turning your eyes into the opposite or the same sex should work as escaping from the sadness of your real life xD

Anyway, we all have the right to accept youselves. I, myself, don't like to be called anything. It's better like that. It's freeing to feel no boundries from the name people give you or the way they see you in your sexuality.
That stuff's too fluid, too sensitive, to be rotulated.

Posted by: The Doc Feb 28 2011, 07:08 PM

It's a deep psycologiacl conflict with ones sexuallity , I personally think that someone is born gay, but I wouldn't know for sure.

Posted by: Sladin4Ever Mar 6 2011, 05:51 AM

My sisters, mum, and I all believe that you are born gay, but I can see non-gays becoming gay, but rarely

Posted by: DeadSpaceFan Mar 6 2011, 08:08 AM

I believe you are turned towards a certain sexuality based on the variables of life (surroundings, people, environments, television, etc.) and these evidently aid the choices you make and create whom you are as a person - as well as change your reaction to certain things, just like all other things in life. Say for example with food, if you get swayed into loving bitter food but dislike sweet foods, the same could be same with being either homosexual or heterosexual - from seeing two men share a passionate romance on television could give you ideas on what life is meant to be like for you, especially if you see it at such a young age.
I would also like to comment on what you said before about homosexuals being "put down", ALL forms of sexuality get insulted in one way or another, please do not think you are any worse of a human because you chose something different from others.

Posted by: Cloud Nine Dec 4 2011, 03:42 PM

This is a debate I'm willing to get into.
I've discussed this many times in my classes, such as Psychology.
I do not believe you can be placed directly into 'Born' or 'Made' homosexual.
There are many factors that contribute to everybody's life.
Some people are born believing they are, for example; 'A man trapped in a woman's body' and the opposite way too.
However some people grow up believing they are heterosexual, however some factor, whether it be a night of drunken experimentation or the way your parents raised you, that could 'create' a homosexual.

It all adds to the nature/nurture debate really. I don't really believe in accepting just one view. It's all a tad reductionist if you ask me.
Somebody I know was in a relationship for almost a year, until recently when he broke up with the girlfriend, because he realised he was asexual. However now he seems conflicted with asexuality and homosexuality.
Was he born asexual, or did something change over time?

Posted by: Reyo Dec 4 2011, 05:47 PM

You're not too far off on your hypothalamus comment.

http://www.cerebromente.org.br/n03/mente/hormones_i.htm

Scientists have found, basically, that a larger hypothalamus is indicative of an attraction to women, and a smaller hypothalamus is indicative of an attraction to men. Not sure if this is discussed by the same topic, but that specific attraction is to female urine and male sweat. (I may have just got that off of animal planet...somehow)

Posted by: Chayan Jan 3 2012, 01:42 AM

well i think everyone's got a choice.......

what matters is how you choose.....

you can be happy with anyone you love and you can fall in love with anyone you want.....

for some it happens at the first sight and for some the same lov comes after years of understanding eachother.......

so u always have a choice.....

Posted by: Grey Warden Jan 3 2012, 08:58 AM

It's our state of mind. As we develope, so does our own perspective. Our surroundings depict our initial perspective and we mature believing what we grew up with is true. I will admit that I idolized my mother when I was younger, her view on everything became mine. 'Twas not only until in the past years that I found all the things I onced believed to be false, thus reinforcing my point.

I don't believe it comes down to a matter of choice and genes, because I cannot simply believed that someone 'decides' one day that they are attracted to the opposite sex. Nor will I accept that your genetics depict your sexuality. My best friend is the youngest of three sisters. The eldest is a lesbian, the middle child is bisexual and she is straight until proven wrong. Does mean that she carries the 'gay gene'? No. Both her sisters were brought up by a mother who has had many partners at that time, and were at an all-girls school.

So in conclusion, it's a matter of ones' perspective.


(-Sigh- I've written too many Philosphy essays last year)

Posted by: Lokiva Jan 20 2012, 02:12 PM

I agree with the fact that one is born gay, but with how people are pressured to /not be gay/ throughout their childhood years I believe people can get confused halfway through life. Right now, I cannot tell whether or not I am attracted to girls or guys because I have been pressured by my society (Catholic schools/family) to like men, but there are some women who I think I might be attracted to. I am confused, but I know that I would accept either path should that prove to be what I actually am.

Posted by: Black Ice Jan 28 2012, 10:37 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_and_sexual_orientation

tl;dr there are a lot of factors, and studies have strongly suggested genetics is a part of it, i.e. you dont choose

Posted by: Dazmi Jan 28 2012, 01:21 PM

I don`t choose my sexual orientation, my dick does. I get erect over guys, but not girls. There, simple as that.

Posted by: Deadchu Jan 31 2012, 10:54 AM

Lol, nicely put there.

Being gay is a mindset, a preference like many people had noted before me. Mindsets and preferences develop over time. Like that one time I used to hate salt and vinegar potato chips, but now I absolutely love them. Your mindset develops, so you can't really be born gay. You don't really have an actually mindset then, it just isn't possible. All your brain thinks of then is, food, drink, mommy's tits, sleep, shit, cry, piss, sleep, cry, shit, food, mommy's tits, drink, shit, cry. The environment in which someone is raised could have something to do with it, but my environment didn't make me like chips. You really just find out and decide that you find the same sex more appealing than the opposite, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Posted by: Halo the Executioner Feb 10 2012, 09:23 AM

I am gay myself, and I personally believe that it is not an option. Perhaps I could say that a contributing factor to me being gay is that I was brought up by my mother, as my father would never really be home. Even now, I prefer being with my mother than my father. Like the opening post stated, I do not understand why anyone would choose to be gay. I get so much crap for being who I am, and I am sick of it. Believe me, if I had the option right now to choose my sexuality I would choose heterosexual in an instant. But, unlike a lot of people, I have to just accept who I am and make the most of it. I don't want to waste my life pretending I'm straight to make my family or friends happy. If you cannot be yourself around them, then who can you be yourself around?

In short; I believe it is not a choice.

Posted by: Jo Calderone Feb 10 2012, 09:31 AM

k so, agreed in here. I am bisexual and I most certainly wasn't born this way (haha Lady Gaga pun). But it's basically because of my surrounding - society as a whole tells you that it is normal to be in a relationship with a person of a different sex, it's normal to have a wife/husband and kids with them, and starting from you're just a child, you are thought that this is the way of living, and that there is no other way.
However, even if you don't have any gay influence around you, you can start to feel affection over people of the same sex - so, most likely, you didn't choose to just randomly start feeling emotions over them, your brain did it instead of you. So yes, genetics most likely have the affect in here.
But also, you can't say that you were born that way, because you didn't feel the affection over the same sex from since you were born. It struck you at some point of your life. So my opinion is that it's all very complicated and depends on the individual.

Posted by: Synx Itax Feb 18 2012, 02:14 AM

I'm lesbian and was born that way. I always liked women, never liked men... that's all there is to it.

Posted by: Magnificent Feb 18 2012, 05:12 AM

Totally gay, and I can never imagine being straight. I don't have that attraction to women and I never will (or at least I hope I never will).
I'd like to believe that your sexuality is determined through genetics, although I can see the argument for being gay based on influences.

Posted by: Gryphaena Feb 24 2012, 03:55 AM

I think a person is mostly born that way. I have a lesbian aunt who told my grandfather her kindergarten teacher was sexy.

Also, I think I remember something from biology about male mice/rats who preferred female mice/rats who didn't have male siblings because those females had less testosterone than females who did have male siblings. Though maybe that last sentence is off topic.

Posted by: Reyo Feb 25 2012, 03:42 AM

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7367881

I remember that in Bio class too, though I think it deals a lot more with aggression than it does sexuality. For example, male mice born between two male brothers will be super aggressive in adulthood, those born between a brother and a sister will behave "normally", and one born between two sisters will be under-aggressive. The problem is that, unless they're a set of twins, which wouldn't matter, humans are unaffected by this since humans don't breed in litters. It is tested, however, that fetal development could include fluctuations in the hypothalamus, which does control human sexuality, and can teeter someone towards homosexuality, or heterosexuality depending on the size.

Posted by: Starships Feb 25 2012, 06:14 AM

Probably the best way to put it aha.
also there's quite a lot of British gays I didn't notice o___o

Mmmm I don't think I've ever seen that mouse thing but it certainly looks... interesting.

Although I don't think you're "born gay". Honestly... I used to like girls back in the day. Shocking isn't it? I used to be friends with this girl in primary school and I grew up my entire primary school life imagining having a wife + kids with this girl. Of course that all changed when I hit secondary school, or rather towards the end of primary. I didn't notice them at the time but as time went on I noticed it more and more. So whether having more female friends had an influence on me, I don't know, but I'm convinced it's a combination of the two (Nature and Nurture)

Also what Dazmi said I guess. Erect over guys but not girls.

Posted by: Galahawk Feb 28 2012, 04:45 PM

I don't think anybody is born with a sexuality, and that we develop our sexualities as we age due to certain factors such as our surroundings and how we were raised. Though I also believe, in the end, whether we are straight, gay, or bi is not a decision, and that it's completely out of our control.

Posted by: Dubbleyew Apr 11 2012, 07:06 PM

Well, there’s a difference between attraction and acting on your attractions. Attraction itself isn’t a choice, only acting on it is. Sexual orientation usually refers to one’s inner attractions, so no, sexual orientation is not a choice. You don't choose what you're attracted to, you just choose who you have sex with/who you enter relationships with. A man who is only attracted to other men can very well be in a relationship with a woman if he's trying to lie to himself and others about his true sexuality. It happens all the time. I've known a few lesbian women who've been in sexual relationships with men, and they didn't enjoy it much, but they wrongly believed that ALL women don't enjoy sex with men and so they themselves didn't even realize they were gay until later on in their lives...

Sexuality is much more complex than people tend to realize. It's rarely ever something anyone consciously chooses, but it can be fluid and it can change, but if it does change it usually does so against your will, not because of it. People can be born either gay, bi, pan, straight, whatever, and later in life they might find that their attractions shift and change. It happens to some and doesn't happen to others. Human beings are very sexual creatures that use sex as a social bonding tool, it's not just a reproductive instinct like it is with dogs and cats and stuff, so our sexuality is a LOT more complex than most other animals.

Best thing to do is just go with the flow, don't try to change your sexuality, but if it changes on its own, that's okay. Nothing abnormal or shameful about that.

Now that that's out of the way... I don’t think it matters if it is a choice or isn’t. Religion is a choice, and yet there’s all sorts of rights and protections for religious people. Contraception is a choice people make to use, and it can be considered “unnatural,” its purpose is having non-procreative sex just like homosexual sex, and yet very few people are against that.

Let’s pretend that sexuality is absolutely, 100% a choice. Okay, so what? Shouldn’t two consenting adults have the right to be together if they want to regardless?

One thing I find problematic about the whole thing, is, what if race was a choice? Would it then be wrong to be black if you could choose to be black? It feels a bit like saying that being gay or black or whatever is some horrible fate and we should only tolerate them because they didn't choose it, those poor dears...but no, we should be accepting because there's nothing wrong with these things, not just because they didn't choose it.

Posted by: Disgracik Jun 10 2012, 11:48 AM

Have same situation, having only friends girls have its influence (at least it has on me)... And that Dazmi words are also true... So, personally, I think there is 2 in 1... In some way you're born that way, but influence also plays it role and you become who you are...

I like girls, but i also like guys (more then girls), this is nature and I can't go against it, understanding it makes me even happy and proud of it

Posted by: Tartii Dec 12 2012, 06:32 PM

Born straight.

Posted by: Chrome Dec 12 2012, 08:39 PM

I think I was turned gay since I had a severe traumatic experience when I was 7-8. So I think that influenced my sexual orientation since that was a critical period for me. Or maybe I was born gay and that trauma made me realize it early, I don't know...

Posted by: Mussolini the Party Genie Aug 5 2013, 09:57 AM

i believe it depends on the person. some people end up being born a different sexuality. for others, it sort of just grows on them after a while. for me, i never even wondered if i was bisexual until probably the past 8 months to about a year. [then again up until now i didn't really give a rat's ass about dating].

Posted by: Anarchy Aug 5 2013, 07:57 PM

Honestly this is a very troubling question. I personally am attracted to most people. But when aroused, I prefer thinking about women. I have had previous experiences with women when I was a bit younger, but my first love is indeed a man. I thought about what Dubbleyew said how being attracted to someone and acting on it are different, so I thought "Oh yeah I'm not too into women because I haven't acted on my attraction" but I did think about it and as I said I had a few experiences, which I did enjoy, even at a young age I was developing my attraction towards women, yet I had never tried to be one. I do not know whether it is because there are no bisexual or homosexual girls in my region, or because I am more comfortable with men. But I don't remember a time when I wasn't curious about kissing or hugging a girl instead of a boy so I would say I was born the way I am.

Posted by: ZizanChan Aug 16 2013, 01:57 PM

No one is born anything. A baby has no sexuality. Like someone else said before, their life consists of eat, shit, sleep, cry and repeat.
Just like a newborn is not capable of falling in love yet (parent/sibling love does not count), they don't have a preference of who they can like or fall in love with. Therefore everyone is born sexuality-less.

Sexuality is chosen either. It's not developed by anyone on purpose (you can't turn anyone/yourself gay/straight/anything else). It just develops by itself. It's kinda like.. you can't chose what flavors you like. Some people love mint, some people hate milk, some love both apple and strawberry, and none of them can forcefully change this (well, they might sometimes, if they, for example, drink too much milk and end up getting sick of it. This does not happen sexuality wise, though). If it's a choice, then why don't you chose to be the opposite of what you are for a while? You can't do that without lying to yourself.

I like to compare this with eye color.
The majority of babies are born with blue eyes. For the sake of this comparison I'll say blue eyes=no sexual preference.
As they grow up and more melanin deposits in their irises, their eyes often change color. Green, brown, hazel or anything in between.. Similar thing happens with sexuality as we mature. We notice that we like some people and not others, sometimes we like everyone equally, or no one at all. Though unlike eye color, this has nothing to do with genes. I don't think it has anything to do with the way we are brought up either, after all, in loads of christian (I mean the anti-gay kind) households the parents end up having gay/bi/pan children, even though they teach their children that being non-straight is wrong.

TL;DR Not born with it, nor a choice. More just.. developed over time regardless of anyones influence. Blame/thank nature! uvu

Posted by: diamondstark Oct 25 2013, 01:23 AM

From my personal experience, I believe that gay people are born the way they are and that it cannot be changed.

I have dated four girls before (I am a guy), and I always felt something was missing. My attraction was only moderate for them. I thought I was straight until I was 13.
When I was 13, I started accepting my sexuality. I labelled myself as bisexual, but later came out as full-on gay. I have dated 3 guys since then, and I am with a guy now. Him and I are more real than me and any girl could have been.
Since straight people tend to have an easier time getting married, if I could have chosen I would be straight. But I'm not.
Because of this, and because I always knew in my heart that I was gay, I don't think it's a choice. It certainly wasn't a choice for me.
And if anyone ever says it is a complete choice, ask them to switch their sexuality right that moment.
They'll say they can't.
Point proven!

Posted by: KatjadieTediz Nov 29 2013, 01:32 PM

To be fair, the whole choice-or-not thing varies among many different people.
It doesn't seem to be a one-size-fits-all deal.

Personally? I wasn't turned gay or chose to be that way. Just like I didn't choose to be white, cis, female, or have Asperger's. In fact, some people like myself discover who
they prefer very early in life. I've always liked women.

I also believe it is important to remember that sexuality is a spectrum, not just a set number of outfits
you happen to fit into at some point. Some people fit into straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual etc clothes
very well. Sometimes, they wear a mix of them. Some may like women, but be open to possibilities with men, too.
Some may only trust those who do not fit into the gender binary but have had past relationships with cis individuals.
Etc, etc, etc, etc. It's a big spectrum, after all!


I do believe, however, that in the end straight people shouldn't really have a final say in the matter.
Opinions are great and fine to have, but y'all shouldn't get to write the psychology books or teach the youth
in this matter. :>
It's not that you're bad, it's just that you don't know much about what LGBTQA+ folks go through when discovering
their lack of hetero.

Posted by: Quark Dec 7 2013, 07:12 PM

I only really realised I liked girls as well as boys when I was about 13, promptly freaked myself out and didn't think about it for about a year because I was so ashamed lmao

People at my school would be so horrendous about gay people, and it terrified me beyond belief- so why on earth would I choose to be bisexual? The majority of my school friends still don't know now, the fear of rejection is literally so rife within the lgbtqia+ community it's ridiculous.

Of course I know now it's fine not to be straight but yeah, I definitely don't think it's a choice. I didn't choose to be bi, it's a hell of a lot more stress to be queer.

Posted by: Mosica Dec 7 2013, 08:46 PM

I side with the "people are neither born gay, nor turned gay," or any sexuality for that matter. It's a very complicated thing to try and make sense of. Nature and nurture play a but part I believe, but it is also you as an individual. Nature and nurture's role could either help someone find themselves or completely throw them off track and make it even harder for the person.

As an example,

Is exactly what I am going through right now. I am a white, cis female who has never been in a relationship, so I have not been able to further figure out who I am attracted too most, if any. Perhaps I am pan-romanic, because I can find people of all genders, non-binary, gender-fluid, etc attracting (maybe?? because I cannot tell if I am acknowledging their outward beauty/personality/who they are or if it is something more) and be asexual, but who knows? I know for a fact that my family and friends are a very accepting bunch, several of them being gay or trans* themselves, yet for some reason I still deny myself.

Posted by: wildmanjesse Jan 29 2014, 12:32 PM

I think this is a huge debate maybe even bigger than Homosexuality itself and i am friends with a few gays and they are always bullied to the point where they almost committed suicide so I don't think anyone would purposefully choose a lifestyle that is always look down upon. So I think they are born gay because it makes no sense why people would choose the road that leaves to bullying and being hated. I am a christian and I support Gay marriage because Christians now days miss interpret the Bible when it comes to homosexuality thinking that being gay is a sing when that is not true the sin is marrying the same sex or sleeping with them but at the end I still think that people are born gay.

Posted by: Erens Mar 11 2014, 09:27 PM

sexuality is very fluid. it can change at any point in life. but it is DEFINITELY not a "choice", it's something out of your control that you can't help but feel. there's no such thing as "choosing" to be gay or straight. it just happens, whether it happens when you are born, or when you're 30, its different for every individual. people do change, people that are attracted to males may grow to be attracted to females, or people that are attracted to everyone may end up being attracted to no one (asexuality). i think this because of my personal experience.

Posted by: flamefiends Jun 6 2014, 06:06 PM

It's never a choice when one falls in love, regardless of gender. Your body creates a hormone that makes you feel in love based on the other person's physical features and their ferimones. If one is a guy and one feels attracted to another guy, that's because one's brain says that the other guy is worth loving. Now, why one's brain says that can be for a number of reasons, but it's NEVER a choice. One can't just tell their brain that one likes this person, their brain makes the choice for them, sometimes against their will. I have no respect for those who believe being <insert type of sexuality here> is a choice.

Posted by: Aberrant Mercutio Jun 10 2014, 02:59 AM

Well, I think that everybody's brain is completely different. While some people may easily know what sexuality they are, others may not. For those people that don't know what sexuality they are, it's probably a little less natural. And some people are not as good at tuning in to themselves as others. Those who are not as good at being in touch with their natural/true feelings may identify with a sexuality that isn't naturally how they are, and possibly never know. Also, there's the different levels of attraction and mistaking one level for another, and the whole "w0w i cld nv3r b gai w0w itz a sin aganste bibel w0w" complex that some Christians (well, there are probably some people of other faiths as well...) seem to have, so they suppress any natural feelings to the point where any thoughts are simply "temptations," or maybe they just pretend they aren't having those thoughts. Don't know.

So I guess what I'm saying is that while sexuality itself isn't really a choice, people can try to force themselves into another mold (I feel bad for those people), and for other people, their sexuality isn't as crystal clear. I actually kind of envy people who without a shadow of a doubt are one-hundred-and-ten-percent sure of their gender identity and sexuality, and have been for quite some time.

Posted by: Princess Daisy Jun 11 2014, 11:19 PM

Detesting and casting away homosexuals is the opposite of what Jesus would do, besides. His own group of Twelve included a terrorist, a national traitor, a sometimes uncouth sailor, and someone who doubted him ten ways from Sunday. The importance of homosexuality in the Bible is almost nothing - but it is blown up by American churches and used as a tool. Ironic - Jesus was the most scathing against the religious elites, those adding on more "thou shalts" and "thou shalt nots" than the original ten commandments.

Jesus himself never touched the subject, and what the Bible does mention about it was a few short passages addressed to the Jews.

Posted by: kumoku Apr 27 2016, 09:20 PM

No matter your sexual orientation, you can't wake up one day and say "I'm going to be straight today, asexual tomorrow, gay the next day". There's no conscious choice involved. You can choose to ACT or not on feelings/impulses/whatever, but you can't control those feelings cause of brain chemistry. You can't control who your brain deems attractive.

Posted by: pidge Apr 21 2017, 12:01 PM

i think this is a very tricky issue that people love to stick into a box. are you born gay or is it a choice? the answer is both yes and no to both, imo.

every person is an individual, and human sexuality is a fairly unknown issue. there simply hasn't been a lot of studies into it due to stigmas revolving around sex and sexuality. most things we know are theories or speculation, if not propaganda from both pro-lgbt and anti-lgbt.

the way i see it, sexual orientation is in fact a balance of nature and nurture. people can be born predisposed to being gay, and there can be the environmental trigger.

there are more folks identifying as being lgbt+ today than in the past. why? because of the environment. it is safer than it was before to openly be gay, which means more folks are more likely to accept being gay rather than hide it. this shows an environmental aspect. on the flipside, there has to be the predisposition to even feeling attraction to the same gender to become gay. this shows the biological/"born this way" aspect.

i also personally believe that a lot of human beings are actually born with a fluid sense of sexual orientation, and because of conditioning or even just later preference develop to become attracted to one gender.

and technically, yes, people can choose to be gay or straight for whatever reason (in the sense of consciously deciding), but i believe this is a fickle matter. someone can try to be something, and it might work and it might not. human sexuality and love is a very complex thing, and people often have romantic and sexual encounters outside of their typical orientation.

Posted by: TheWingedKetten Apr 30 2017, 07:52 AM

I actually disagree with this, because until I was about 11, I had never been introduced to anything close to LGBT+. Once I started watching more shows like anime, I started to ship gay ships, but there were no actual LGBT+ characters or relationships. Everything was cishet or unconfirmed. However, I am genderfluid and hetero/homoflexible.
And about what you said at the end- They were simply stating that homophobia is a much bigger issue than cisphobia/heterophobia. If they had said anything about cis/hetero/transphobia, it would not have fit into the topic at hand. That deserves a different thread.