[X] My Assistant

[Firefly77]

Name:Cheyenne Bakerson (often called Chey)
Age:12
Hometown:Viridian City

Appearance: Chey has straight, dark brown hair that reaches to her shoulders. She normally wears it in pigtails. She has light blue eyes that occasionally change to dark blue. She has a light tan from playing in the Viridian forest so much. She has clear skin with no acne, freckles, or scars.

Chey wears ripped-up jeans, a blue t-shirt with a Snivy on the back, and blue and white sneakers.

Personality: Chey likes to fling herself into battles she knows she can't win when she is mad. When she is super happy, she will start talking really fast. She is usually in a pretty good mood. When she is sad, she will talk to her Pokemon. She is a very likable person She also has a lot of Friends that live in Viridian City as well. Chey is not hot tempered but if she gets really mad she will get stressed out but that rarely happens.

Biography: Cheyenne was born in Palette Town, but she moved to Viridian City when she was one year old. She spent many happy days playing in the Viridian Forest. One day when she was three, she met a pidgey, which followed her home. Her parents allowed her to keep it as a pet. Two years later, she was playing in her yard with pidgey when she went inside the house for a few minutes. When she came out, the Pidgey was gone. It never came back. Two years later, Professor Oak gave Cheyenne a baby Snivy. The two became inseparable and were rarely seen without the other. Two years later Cheyenne was playing in the back yard a she saw a Spearow that had a broken wing. Chey and her parents nursed it back to health. When it was time to let Spearow go it did not fly away it stayed with Cheyenne and became her second Pokemon. Two years later Cheyenne got a baby Lillipup for her birthday.When Cheyenne was on vacation in Vermilion City she saw a flier that a boat was leaving for Furoh in a month.She asked her parents if she could go to Furoh to collect gym badges there. She wanted to go there instead of Kanto or Jhoto because her parents had already completed the Kanto and Johto gym challenges and she wanted to do something they hadn't. After thinking about it a lot, her parents finally decided to let her go. She packed her bags and off she went!

Class:Trainer.

Starting Pokemon:Snaky/Snivy/level 10/Brave nature/ likes to fight/ female

Wrap/vine whip/leer/tackle

professor Oak gave snaky to Cheyenne when she was seven years old. The two became inseparable and were rarely seen without each other.
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spear/Spearow/level 5/relaxed nature/likes to relax/male
leer/Growl/peck

Chey fond spear in the backyard with a broken wing. When it was time to let him go, Spear stayed with Chey.
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Lilly/lillipup/level 5/brave nature/ alert to sounds/male

Odor sleuth/tackle/leer

Cheyenne got Lilly for her eleventh birthday.
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Items:Pokeballs x10,potions x10, and antidotes x10

What is the biscuit's name? The answer is...Waldorf
Other Notes: none

[Kamaitachi]

You've got a great start to a profile. If you wouldn't mind expanding the personality section just a teensy bit more. Likewise, the biography could use a little tweak here and there. Snivy is not native to Kanto, yet she just found one chilling in her backyard. Why would Professor Oak ask her to go to Furoh to take the gym challenge there when she hadn't even attempted the one in Kanto, or even neighboring Johto. It seems a little irresponsible to send a child clear across the world to do something she could easily accomplish in her own native region.

Aside from that, if you wouldn't mind fixing the spelling and grammar errors you have here and there?

Once these are done, I'll gladly approve your profile.

[Firefly77]

I have finished editing my profile.

[Kamaitachi]

I would really like you to fix those spelling errors. They're very noticeable, and there's a spellchecker in the post box already. Mistakes like that will end up costing you points when you start roleplaying.

Do me a favour and expand just a little bit more on the personality. It's very basic, and there are a few more things you could try fleshing out. Try taking an online personality test, but fill out the answers as if you were Chey. That will help in giving her a bit more of a background. If you're really stumped, try reading some of the other profiles in PANE and Uprising to see if there are any bits you like.

Do these for me, and I'll approve for sure.

[Firefly77]

I have finished editing my profile again.

[Kamaitachi]

So, you're still missing some fixes. I'm sorry if I'm being hard on you. I'm just pointing out that if you consistently make mistakes, your scores will definitely suffer. (Then your pokemon won't level nearly as quickly as they could.)

If Chey talks at a rate of Fifty words per minuet, then how fast does she talk when she isn't singing? A minuet is a type of song/dance.

When you have a new sentence, don't forget to put a space between the old and the new.

Example: Chey likes pies.She really likes them. <----Wrong.
Chey likes pies. She really likes them. <---Correct.

Capitalize new sentences.
Capitalize proper nouns, notably Professor Oak.

If it seems Nit-picky, i apologize, but I would still like them fixed.

[Firefly77]

I have finished editing my profile once again.

[Kamaitachi]

Well, you've fixed what I asked you to fix, so.

Approved.

Post in the Current Levels thread and have fun.

Also, please feel free to edit your profile as you think up more things to add about Chey.