[X] My Assistant

[Wildivlax]

Exploring Demalr Cave has died away, but has over 15 posts.

RPers:
Felisha Roke (Pibbler)
Branwys "Tinkertot" Muphenz (Master Houndoom) and Lysander Kirby Doyle (Umbrae Calamitus) dropped out.

Characters come from various ways, Felisha from home, Branwys from a schooner and Kirby from a bus. Felisha encounters Kirby, knocking him over. Before Branwys's entry, Kirby's Shinx, Lionheart pukes on Felisha. Branwys explodes (though not literally) after be mistaken for a young child due to her height and storms off to the Pokemon Center, where Kirby follows. After having a check-up of Watcher (a Duskull) and Lionheart, Kirby and Branwys go to the Pokemart to get a Pamphlet to locate Demalr Cave. Meanwhile, after leaving the city, Felisha is jumped by a wild Dustox. After a hit of Confusion, Terry, Felisha's Shinx attacked her, knocking her out for several minutes. At this, Terry went into a rage and nearly defeated the Dustox and would have, had Felisha not woken up and called Terry back. With that, Felisha sent out Jamie, her Mankey, and had her use Covet. With the Dustox on the ground and near fainting, Felisha caught and healed the Dustox, dubbed Trouble, and went south until reaching the cave. She went down into the cave, scared three times by Numel scurrying past. Felisha stopped and pondered what to do. But before she could decide, an Onix tunneled by. This was the last event of the last post.

Important Events:
Felish obtains a new Pokegear.
Branwys drops her phone into the sea.
Lionheart pukes on Felisha.
Branwys gets very mad and embarrases herself in front of a lot of people.
Felisha is knocked out by her own Pokemon.
Felisha catches Trouble the Dustox.

This post has been edited by Pibbler: Feb 13 2011, 04:53 PM

[stbyleth]

Ranch Sitters has concluded! 

Players:

• Celino Molenaro — Current Levels
• Eron Ingress — Current Levels

Summary:
Eron Ingress finds himself helping out at Loch Ranch — albeit doing it unwillingly. Seemingly unable to give up his glamourous life, he dreads the mud and the heavy rain, especially when a man clad in orange runs into him and gets the wet dirt all over him. Enter Celino Molenaro — deaf man that's unable to speak. 

Eron begrudgingly tries to be nice to the creepy man and they end up bonding slightly. Celino, having recognised the rockstar, cuts his hair to make him less recognisable. Even their pokemon bond — Celino's stuck up Pichu named Pride finds himself caring for the sick Runner, another Pichu. They place Runner near the generator in the egg incubator, where they've been storing unique eggs that the two have never seen before, and go eat...

...when an explosion sounds, sending tremors through the farm house. It turns out, Team Deception, disguised as farmhands, has caused the generator to explode, and they quickly take as many eggs as they can. With Runner still in the now aflame incubator, the two dive into action, attempting to stop the team whilst the farmhands' water pokemon try to halt the fire. In the end, they get Runner and a majority of the eggs out. However, Team Deception has taken some rare ones. Angered at this, Eron leads Celino to them and they take them out. Although, Eron's dad has been alerted to Eron's whereabouts... 

Important Happenings:

• Celino acquires a Sewaddle egg, whilst Eron gets a Blitzle egg. 
• Team Deception is spotted near Loch Ranch

This post has been edited by Cavalcade: Feb 14 2011, 04:54 PM

[Kamaitachi]

Never Eat Boardwalk Nachos

I want to thank you all for your patience. There are some of you that have been purged from PANE, but you still get grades anyways, in case you one day decide to return and collect them.

The build in the rp was very slow. Since you had so many characters, it took FOREVER to get everyone to even meet. There was a lot of interaction, but I'm surprised no one took the time to talk to one another. "Where are you from? What pokemon do you have?", etc, until much later. Since all of the characters were starting their journeys, wouldn't that be the sort of thing to talk about?

A technical aspects: Houndour evolves into Houndoom at Level 24. Most of your pokemon were at least ten levels lower by comparison, if not more. Combine this with three other Houndour, it's borderline ridiculous. At least the Muk was taken out by an Empoleon.

I know it's hard to create an interesting story when characters are dropping out left and right, but I appreciate your work in pushing through.

Alexander Wells - NES2

Participation: 1/3 You kinda stopped while still at the restaurant. You seem to have completely missed the major events in the rp.
Skill: 6/7. You had some very good posts, across the board. However, I noticed that you'd miss out on some of the conversational aspects. Most notably is when he meets Liz. "What brings you to Barley?" is responded to with "A Boat did." You, as the roleplayer, acknowledged the joke, but we never saw Alexander react to it.
Battle: 0/5 No battles, no points. Sorry.

Final Score: 7/15

Tyson Ealdwine - Tekno

Participation: 3/3. You stayed active until the end.

Skill: 5/7. Your grammar gets a little iffy here and there. Run-on sentences are your main trespasses. Sometimes a well placed semi-colon can save the day in that regard.

You tend to gloss over some details that would really heighten the rp. Notably lines like: "The waitress gave him a look, probably..." While you explain the motivation behind it, you never mention what kind of look it is.

Battle: 3/5

The battle to capture Tyrogue was really short. Was there any particular reason as to why Tyson thought to capture it? I understand that Tyrogue and Chikorita both have a very limited moveset at this stage, but in lieu of flashier attacks, perhaps more detailed description would help.

As for the grimer battle, just remember that Yawn is a delayed sleep inducer, not an immediate one. I'm also a little sad that you introduced an NPC before the Muk had done anything. It would've been fun to see the lot of new trainers attempt such a challenge.

I'm curious as to the mechanics of Sand Stream. Is it something that is 'activated', or is it something that is automatic upon appearance on the field, like the games.

Final Score: 11/15

Koryu Hiroki - knil1

Participation: 1/3. You disappeared before any of the major events. Koryu led them to the restaurant, but never made it inside.

Skill: 4/7. At least in the beginning, we could see Koryu's relationship with his pokemon. Koryu's personality is also pretty easy to pick out as well, due to your writing. There is so much more I want to see coming out of rp posts though. Koryu really doesn't react to anything that happens around him

For the most part, the posts were pretty short.

Do me a favour, please? When beginning dialogue that is not a continuation of the character's first line, please separate it by one margin.

"Blah Blah Blah", said Koryu, then as an afterthought: "Blah Blah"

"Blah", replied Bob Loblaw. It's a very minor grammatical fix.

Final Tally: 5/15

Drei-Annie Cernei Tri - Xatu Breeder

Participation: 1/3 You disappeared before the major story events took place.
Skill: 3/7 Short posts across the board. Most of them dealt with her interactions with Finnegan. While I do love me some Nincada, I really would've liked to see Drei taking Finn's advice and actually socialize with the boys.

Minor note: Your sentence structure is almost always the same. In order to play with this, you may want to try simply varying up the clause order. You get "She did this. She did that. Drei did this. Drei did that." It's easy to follow, sure, but it gets monotonous

Minor note: "Every once in a while", not "Every once and a while". That really bugged me for some reason.

Battles: 0/5 No Battles, no points.

Final Tally: 4/15

Elizabeth Nadira Shir - Dragonwish2

Participation: 3/3 You joined late, but you stayed until the end.
Skill: 4/7 The thing about being off on your own for a good portion of the rp is that you have absolutely no one to play off of. You're forced to create and respond to all of your own stimuli. Therefore, your posts will undoubtedly be very short. Likewise, since you're off in your own little world, your fellow rpers have nothing to respond to as well. I might suggest finding a way to meet up with the main rp crew much faster next time.

There were several short posts towards the end that could have been collaborative posts between you and Pinsir.

I enjoy Liz's sense of humor, by the way.

Same deal with Knil1, new paragraph each time there is a different person speaking, please.

As a waiter myself, I felt some sympathy for Aleena.

Battle: 3/5 The battle with growlithe was two turns long. I know that this can be the case in the games, but I'd like to see that expounded upon in the roleplaying universe. The battle to capture Oreo was much, much better. While I enjoyed the flashback to the Friend Ball memory, I have to wonder why Liz didn't remember it when she was capturing greg.

Final Score: 10/15

Zach Schmidt - Pinsir

Participation: 3/3 You joined REALLY late, but hey, you stayed through the end.

Skill: 4/7 In your second post, Zach is already in a rage, but he seems to keep his cool during the battle. It's a little contradictory to me. You also switch between present and past tense here and there, so please be mindful of that.

There were several posts on the last page that could've been avoided by utilizing a collaborative post with Dragonwish.

Please be mindful of things like "The Houndour took advantage of this by taking a large bite of Blaze's tale..." Spellcheck doesn't catch homophones, so it may be wise to proofread your post before submitting it.

Battle: 4/5 The battles were pretty good. I like that Zach isn't completely set in his battle skills and still makes a rookie mistake here or there (notably the Flash Fire activation before Blaze's evolution).

Final Score: 11/15

[Living Arrow]

Exploring Demalr Cave

Pibbler - Felisha Roke

So, despite having more than 15 posts, this RP did not meet the requirement to receive a full grading. I do, however, see that this was by no means within your control so have decided to make something of it, anyway.

Activity: 2/3 The full score was not given here due to the RP being so short.

Skill: 1/7 There was a near complate lack of description when it came to Felisha's surroundings, how she viewed her companions and there wasn't any sort of introduction for her character in her first post. You did, however, use a piece of decent internal dialogue (where Felisha thinks to herself) and correctly used itallics when doing so.
When writing from Terry the Shinx's point of view, you switched from the third person (he, she, it) to first person (I, me, my) which didn't seem to flow particularly well. In future, please only use the third person when writing your posts.
All posts were really short and lacked detail.

Battling: 1/5 The battle between Terry and Trouble had enough moves to be considered technically accurate for the capture to take place but lacked detail that would have gotten you more marks.

Total: 4/15

Since Master Houndoom and Umbrae Calamitas left the roleplay, their contributions will not be graded.

Ranch Sitters

Short but sweet, this roleplay was a pleasure to read. A shame luke39 dropped out after one post... but your scores have not suffered as a result. Clearly, Celino and Eron are a good team and I'm keen to see where they head next. As a pair, you were pretty even in my grading so I've lumped you together in the spoiler.

Cavalcade - Celino Molenaro
Ganymede - Eron Ingress

Activity: 3/3 Nothing to say here

Skill: 7/7 Both of you had me hooked after each post and I never felt like anything was missing. Both kept to profile and each character never seemed like they were running out of place. Smooth transitions between posts, appropriate responses to one another and really well thought-out dialogue. As far as skill goes, it will always be questionable to try and get any marks off either of you
A big plus for me, you used Team Deception perfectly. eight points to gryffindor!

Battling: 4/5 A bit of a traditionalist, I always like to see a standard portion of attack-calling from both pro- and antagonists across a makeshift battlefield or at least a standard battle between two Pokemon even if their trainers aren't around. That said, the pieces of battles that were written were well done and sufficiently controlled so I didn't end up thinking things like "Hey! shouldn't Shep be unconscious by now?" or "Heck, Blue is a God!"

Total: 14/15

[FirePower]

Banished Bugs Has been completed.

Kaya Rovera-FirePower
Willow Deacon-Jansen
James Stanley-luke39

Plot:A bug pokemon reserve near Artho town had been recently plagued with the mysterious disappearance of several tagged pokemon. In hopes to discover the source of the problem, the head researcher, Professor Peyton, decides to hire a few trainers to follow three pokemon around the reserve for a few hours and see what happens. After a while, some men in lab coats come and try to steal the weedle James was following, the Sewwadle Willow was following, and the caterrpie Kaya was following. Even though each of the scientists lost in a pokemon battle, they made off with said pokemon. The three of them ran after the thieves, eventually losing them when coming to a cave guarded by three deception grunts. After sneaking past the guards, they go though the cave until coming to a large chamber with a few more deception grunts. After beating the criminals in a battle, the trio learns that most of the pokemon have already been shipped to Deception HQ and the bad guys had pulled off by posting spies disguised as scientists in the facility. Eventually the bad guys got away, though they left behind two smoke balls, which went to Willow and James. After freeing the remaining bug pokemon, They went back to the building and told their story. As a reward for helping the scientists, Kaya, James, and Willow each got twenty dollars and were allowed to catch a pokemon on the reserve. After leaving, the three of them decided travel together to Barley.

This post has been edited by FirePower: Apr 4 2011, 08:02 PM

[Kamaitachi]

Banished Bugs:

With no real exposition, it’s kind of hard for the reader to follow what’s going on right away. If I hadn’t read the synopsis from your RP Grading post, I would’ve had no idea what was going on.

It’s a very battle heavy roleplay, which is okay. I would’ve liked to have seen more interaction between the three of you. It’s hard to believe that you became fast friends when you hardly talked to one another.

Overall, not a bad rp. There’s plenty of room for improvement, so I hope you guys do!

FirePower:

Participation: 3/3 You were active. Good job by you!

Skill: 3/7 Watch your sentences; you do tend to err in favour of run-on sentences. You have some nice detail here and there, however, you introduce Kaya and Manera with no exposition whatsoever. Exposition needn’t be lengthy, but you through us into the story right off the bat. It isn’t even in media res, (err…in the middle of action), so it didn’t make sense for such an abrupt start.

When a new character begins speaking, please denote as such by starting a new paragraph.

Your posts are pretty short. It needn’t be overtly lengthy, but I feel like there’s a lot more you could be showing with Kaya.

I don’t like how easily Kaya’s NPC namedrops Team Deception. This doesn’t affect your score, but Team Deception doesn’t really make the news that often. That’s more in the realm of Cult of Darkrai or the Sons of Lenoilia.

Watch the all caps. It’s silly.


Battles: 3/5 Even with a special ball, Flit only hit Pede-erpat once before it was captured. I would’ve liked to see a little more of the battle for that, especially since the Venipede knows Twineedle. The Scratch/Tackle battle between Flare and Pineco was fun to read.

Total: 9/15

Jansen:

Participation: 3/3 You kept going. Well done!

Skill: 6/7 You present Willow very nicely. Not overly done, but you do show us a good portion of what’s going on her mind. It’s a nice touch.

Be careful! You have a habit of switching tenses randomly. Try to stay in the past tense, as that’s the most commonly used tense. It also wouldn’t make sense as to use the wrong tense whilst everyone else is using the correct one.

Minor note: Watch “it’s” versus “its”. It’s a common mistake, so I’m not docking any points.

Battles: 5/5 Despite it being a tackle-only battle, it was nice to see you put some effort into the detail of it. It was certainly better than what I’d come up with. Your scientist battles were well written, despite limited movesets.



Total: 14/15

Luke39:

Participation: 3/3 You stayed to the end. Congrats!

Skill: 3/7 I see you’re attempting to write some detailed sentences, however, you tend to step into the realm of run-on sentences. Punctuation is your best friend here, especially commas and semi-colons. Small grammatical errors abounded as well, but you’re making them less frequently, which is a sign of improvement.

I would suggest working on your dialogue. When I read your speech, I assume that James and every NPC is a robot, simply because their sentence structure isn’t,..well…normal. While it’s grammatically fine, it would be a nice nuance to add things such as contractions, or even some flavouring. Yzarc Drowsman and Tymid are great rpers to study if you’re looking to naturalize your characters’ speech.

For instance:

“Hello again James, you are our third helper. Please take a seat and try to make some new friends.”

It’s a simple fix: “Hello again, James. You’re our third helper, so please take a seat and try to make some new friends.”

Please note as to when something is plural and when something is possessive. “They use their flashing manes” versus “They use their flashing mane’s.” The latter example implies that the mane is in possession of something, because lengthened it becomes: “They use their flashing mane is” which is very incorrect.

Be mindful of when you’re narrating and when you’re speaking as Kara. A few times you used “us” rather than “them” in the narration, and it kind of threw me off guard.

Battles: 3/5 It’s kind of hard to give you points for the Metapod battle, simply because the Metapod did nothing but harden. At least you played around with Frost a bit. Your battle with the Scientist was a bit better, and the battle was Joltik seemed a bit more exciting too. You’ve been improving here too.

Total: 9/15

Good work guys!

[Kamaitachi]

Arasam, That Toddling Town is complete.

Dramatis Personae:

Taggarty Lee - Played by Kamaitachi
Raven Amaranth - Played by Tymid

Otis of Arasam - Played by Bogart, then recast and played by Living Arrow

Summary:
Tag and Raven, fresh off of their ordeal in "When Crime Pays" spend the day in Arasam. Raven ends up purchasing a blind shiny Vulpix, whom she names A Capella. The two discuss Raven's past a bit, and it's revealed to the masses that Raven has been spotted in Arasam, drawing the attention of many people. Tag goes on to challenge the gym, earning himself an Emberwing badge. The duo leave Arasam.

This is mostly something of a set-up for the next rp. At least, it wasn't that way at first, but it totally is now.

Things of Consequence:
Raven acquires a Shiny, Blind Vulpix
Tag's Kyoko evolves into a Bellossom
Tag wins the Emberwing badge.

Tada.

[Toogee]

Toddle Tale: Review of “Arasam, That Toddling Town”

A very good RP from start to finish. In this RP, we see Tag and Raven getting closer to each other, without interference from kids and TD members :P. Let’s move on, shall we?

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 7/7

This RP is another example of how tough guy Tag doesn’t want to be alone without a few friends around. Though he’s usually introverted around others, Tag is much more social around Raven and his pokemon. The contrast makes for a good weekend read.

Battle: 5/5

As a charizard fanboy, I can’t say I enjoyed seeing one of my favorites getting beaten by a nidorino. But it was handled well.

Total: 15/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3


Skill: 7/7

I like how Raven acts tough but then melts like butter when around Tag or around cute disabled pokemon. Like Tag, I like the contrast. And yet, they bond with their similarities. It’s as if you planned this from the start :P.

Battle: 5/5

Learning how to command deaf and blind pokemon was a nice insight. Perhaps the vibrations Raven used to communicate with Forte could be used for some rudimentary Morse code for more complicated communication.

You probably could have used another battle. Perhaps a crazy paparazzi could try and keep Raven from running with his pokemon's use of Mean Look or Block. As he took pictures at his own leisure, Raven's wrath is incurred. Cue battle. Something to think about for next time.

Total: 15/15

[Captain Combuske...]

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle has [finally] come to an end.

(V E R Y) B R I E F C O U R S E O F E V E N T S
This RP follows the course of events from Port Barley to Fidona, where Alex and Tikal have their gym battles (Tyson was meant to, but never did.) There are plenty of events occurring, such as a lot of activity on the boat and even more as we reach Fidona.

C H A R A C T E R S
Alex Slasher- Proby
Tom Hawk (Alex's Partner)- Proby
Tikal Faylen- rt117
Tyson Parker- Protoman
Nate Redwood (Now an dead profile)- Metal Nate

P R O B L E M S
Metal Nate left the RP quite early, and soon was cleared out in the Great Purge anyway. We tried to do this nicely, but saying they didn't notice that he hadn't left the boat.

Protoman, who we are desperately hoping will come back, has apparently, if I am correct, has password issues with both his Gts+ account and Yahoo mail, meaning there is no way of contacting him. He left just before we launched into the gym battles and hasn't come back since.

O T H E R N O T E S
Have Fun reading!

[Tymid]

In The Jungle, the Mighty Jungle Grading

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Hooray, you participated!

Skill: 5/7

Your posts were good, especially towards the beginning, but as I was reading, it seemed as though you were getting a little lazy with them in terms of description and grammatical correctness. You still managed to keep the story together, but next time, try to keep the energy that you put into the beginning of your posts throughout the entire RP.

Battle: 4/5

Your description of the battle with Maxi was admirable, but I would have liked to see more from your other battles. I can tell you've got it in your head, now you just need to write it out.


Total: 12/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 6/7

Good posts overall, but considering I've seen your writing style, I'm going to say the same thing I said to Proby: Don't get lazy just because it's the end of the RP. Whether or not it's dragged on forever, you and your character still need to have the same amount of energy you started with.

What I do, in that situation, is I go back a reread the RP, and put myself in the position of my character. I find that posts are WAY easier to come up with when I've hit a doldrum or writer's block.

Also, there were quite a few grammatical errors, but everyone makes those. Just be careful in the future.

Battle: 5/5

You battled and stuff. Good quality battles, although I feel there could be a wee bit more description.


Total: 14/15

Participation/Activity: 2/3

You almost made it to the end. Almost.

Skill: 3/7

Yet again, I'm seeing more "lazy" posting here. One of your posts had only 4 sentences. I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity, but in a role play, there has got to be some sort of substance. If you don't know what to say, no biggie! Just post in the discussion thread that you want to be skipped. I've done it loads of times.

Another reason your grade suffered here is because there were loads of grammatical errors. Little things like run on sentences and lack of capitalization can KILL your grade. I look over little things like that a lot of times, but when it's a constant in almost every post, I sadly have to dock points. Just try to be more careful.

Battle: 4/5

You battled, but the battles were lacking in description and quality. Next time, try to really get into your character's heads. It really does help.


Total: 9/15

I can't really grade Metal Nate's one post; most I could give him was a 1 in skill for the post that he wrote. If he decides to come back, he can have that one point.


It was a good read, guys! Don't take my advice in a negative manner, please. I've watched all of you RP before, and the advice I give is simply to help.

[Toogee]

Lopsided Leviathan of Languid Lenoilia is finally complete!

Pandora GIbbs- 2gamers
Douken Sota- Douken Sota
Justin Smart/Nate Guzman- Yzarc Drowsnam

In 4L, Pan and Douken arrive in Lenoilia, which had been briefly taken over by a biker gang. With the help of Justin Smart and Nate Guzman, they set out to overthrow the gang and set things right in Lenoilia. The twist: the biker gang was put in power by Team Deception as an experiment to test the power of a shadow pokemon. Knowing this, Justin and Nate continue to help Pan and Douken, risking their careers and possibly their lives. Everything ends happily, but Justin’s abrupt exit leaves Pan a bit heartbroken.

A few notes:

1. All bunnying was done with approval.
2. Concept of shadow zoroark was approved by Bogart

[Tymid]

OKAY. Sorry this took so ridiculously long. I just finished my finals. Woo! Figured I'd get this done before I move. Boo. If you have any questions, please PM me. Thank y'all for a good read!

Participation/Activity: 3/3

YOU DID A PARTICIPATE. Good job.

Skill: 7/7

Entry post was a great eye-catcher. I love journal entries. As per usual, your style of writing is fun to read. Maybe it's because I do the same thing with Raven, but I love to see good-quality interactions between Poke'mon and trainer. It's a very good way to show us who you and your poke'mon are. Well done.

Battle: 5/5

Good battle scenes. Again, good balance between what the poke'mon is thinking and what the trainer is planning, while still allowing an aura of "Oh! What's going to happen?"

I like it.


Total: 15/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3

A wild participation appeared! Yzarc used a Master Ball! SUCCESS.

Skill: 7/7

You, out of all the RPers I've encountered, possess the greatest skill with dialogue. It's hard not to make dialogue seem too overbearing, but you've successfully turned it into your trademark...and it is an art form. Very well done.

Battle: 5/5

You have a knack for making battles almost humorous, even in the most dire of circumstances. Again, I love the way you write during battles. I really have no negative comments, here.


Total: 15/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3

You also managed to participate! Yay!

Skill: 4/7

...Okay. Please don't be offended when I say this. Some of your posts sound...lazy. Like, you realize it's your turn and you simply throw something together for the sake of posting and being active. Was there a good bit of detail involved in most of them? Yes. However, the way they were put together made them slightly difficult to read.

Also, there's the matter of being a courteous roleplayer. None of your fellow roleplayers should have to even contemplate changing their previous posts because you edited yours later. It disrupts the storyline and is frustrating to those around you.

THAT BEING SAID, you've improved from the roleplays I've seen you in in the past. Your score suffered mainly because of the lackadaisical posting style, and because of mildly discourteous posting. Don't think I hate you or anything, please.

Battle: 5/5

You battled, and it was good. I could stand to see a little bit more detail and clarity, but other than that, I saw no problems.


Total: 12/15

[Angels Fall Firs...]

Going Bovine RP Topic
Going Bovine OOC Topic

Characters and Casts:

• Finn Oakley played by Angels Fall First
• Cesc Rojas played by Kamaitachi

Summary:
Finn missed his boat ride to the mainland. As he is waiting on a bench he meets Cesc, who is running and errand for his aunt and uncle. As any other trainer would, Finn asks for a battle. He gets a bit frustrated with his Pokemon and the battle gets cut short thanks to a raging bull.

Things get solved and cleared up in the end.

This post has been edited by Angels Fall First: May 11 2011, 04:14 PM

[Toogee]

The Cow Goes Moo: Review of “Going Bovine”

It meets the posting length, but I think the RP could have lasted a bit longer. Their interactions were a bit limited, but still pretty good. Let’s see what we can do.

Participation/Activity: 3/3

Skill: 6/7
The highlight of the RP was when Cesc called Finn out on yelling at his pokemon. Even when reprimanding his opponent, Cesc remained calm (but firm). My only complaint would be that I wished there were more opportunities to show off Cesc. It was a very battle-centric RP; I would have liked to have seen more stuff off the arena. He could have toured the various boutiques of Barley for ideas on popular fashions in Furoh. Perhaps he could have gotten past initial differences with Finn.

Battle: 4/5

The second battle could have been longer, especially since it was the main event of the RP. Maybe the tauros could have been running around all over Barley, with the two trainers having to put aside their tension from their battle to rein the bull in.

Total: 13/15

Participation/Activity: 3/3


Skill: 6/7
We see Finn’s calm clash with his desire to win, at his pokemon’s expense. We don’t see PC characters abuse pokemon too often (even if this is a less extreme case). Kudos on that . It was a nice change of pace, but before we get to see a real discussion between the two trainers, they’re swept into another battle, followed by the ending. I really wanted to see more interaction outside of battle.

Battle: 4/5
Same as Kamai. Seriously, there should have been a scene inside a china shop, where the two are trying to avoid breaking things while battling the tauros in the store. So much potential for “going bovine”. It’s a shame the RP was cut so short.

Total: 13/15

[Fei Fei]

After a massively long delay, Why Angry Gyaradoses Are Red has decidedly been declared as dead (after discussing it with Duck Tape and Charlie Piers). Honestly, I'm not sure if it can even be graded anymore since both Charlie and Duck's characters have been moved to the Dead Profile archive (though both have expressed interest in reviving their characters), and because it's so old, but I just wanted to get it up here so that Alex could have some closure for it, so that she can move on to another RP.

Players Include:
Alex Treinem
Dynh Ariani (Dead Profile)
Mercedes Dorian (Dead Profile)

Important Events:
Dynh's caterpie CC evolved into a poor, abused Metapod-turned-football.
Alex and Dynh battled, and Dynh proved that not every trainer instinctively knows what moves their pokemon can learn.
Kuchi, Alex's new Mawile, was a smug bastard.
Dynh captured a Feebas almost by accident.
An angry Gyarados attacked the troupe.
Alex almost drowned, and Ouji was a BAMF.

This post has been edited by Fei Fei: Jun 12 2011, 11:34 AM

[Delete This User...]

Fishing Anyone? has been inactive for a very long time now, and I'm pretty certain that the only other RPer from me who was posting in it has vanished from the site. Since the RP has 24 posts, I understand that it is eligible for grading.

DC Moriarty (Current Levels) - Red Kitten
Christopher Portnoy (Current Levels) - Arcyena

Summary: Chris and DC happen to meet each other at a small pond south of Arasam, both trainers hoping to find a valuable Water-Type Pokémon to fill a vital role in their teams. The two soon get to talking, however, the conversation is interrupted when Chris hooks a Sharpedo of all things, quite the phenomenon when one considers a Sharpedo's usual habitat. After a tussle with the shark-like Pokémon, resulting in Chris' wire snapping, the two are relieved to find that the Sharpedo has vanished from sight, and opt to take a gentle swim to relax a little, not to mention allow the previously calm ambiance to restore itself to the pond, in order to make future catches more likely. However, the two still find themselves being interrupted by another pair of trainers, seemingly keen on making sure that their relationship-status was know to the world, one of them with their eyes set on Chris' Houndoor, intending to purchase the Dark-Fire Canine from the Hoenn-born male, both the Pokémon and her trainer not really too fond of this idea. An argument soon breaks out, escalating into a double battle between them, which DC and Chris win relatively comfortably, resulting in the intimate pair blaming all but themselves as they leave Chris and DC to attempt to carry on with their fishing.

[Kamaitachi]

Cliffhanger! Angry Gyarados is still Red!

So, it's incomplete, obviously. I can't rightly give you full marks for them.

Participation: 2/3
You stayed until the end? Well. You disappeared for a few months, then tried to stay until the end. At least you put it up for grading.

Skill: 7/7
Alex is a very, very interesting character to read. Not as interesting as Dynh, per se, but still very compelling. I like her relationship with her pokemon, as well as her attempt at getting to know Kuchi better. It's atypical, but it proves to be a fun read. Your posts were good and descriptive, among the best I've seen here at PANE.

Battles: 3/5
I can't very well give you full marks with only one real battle. However, the internal monologue that Kuchi kept, as well as Alex figuring out how to work with her was definitely a new angle into battles that I particularly enjoyed.

Total: 12/15

Mercedes Dorian: 7/15
Dynh Ariani: 7/15

If they ever come back to Pane, I'll let them claim these points.

Go Fish! It's your turn!

This was also incomplete, so again, I can't feel compelled to give you full marks.

I'm glad to see that your character shares nothing in common with the eponymous character in "Portnoy's Complaint". I would've been a bit disturbed.

Participation: 2/3 It's incomplete, but you stayed to the end of its incompletion

Skill: 7/7 You're an excellent roleplayer, providing Chris with a very rich inner life, as well as acting quite logically and still in character.

Battle: 3/5 You had one major battle under your belt, and it was quite excellently done. I have no criticisms for it. I'm sure there would've been more battle had you finished the roleplay.

Total: 12/15

Participation: 1/3 You didn't quite stay until the end.

Skill: 7/7 I'm so happy that I got to read for two very skilled roleplayers. It made for a very compelling read. I wish you'd stuck around.

Battle: 3/5 Same as Arcyena

Total: 11/15

Had this roleplay completed, I would've had no qualms giving either of you perfect marks. If Red Kitten returns to PANE, she's welcome to pick up her points from here.

[LittleShadowPoke...]

Scarily close to a year, 20,000 Corsola Under the Sea has finally come to an end.

Joey J. Sweet - LittleShadowPokemon
Twila Reanne - SaphireShadows
Vincent Waters - Pumpkin King ....Archived.


Plot Summary:

Deciding to travel to Fidona together, Vincent and Joey board the S.S. Starlight Cruise ship and enjoy themselves. Before they reach their destination however, Joey meets a young girl by the name of Twila Reanne. They end up battling with Kimiko the Igglybuff versus Merle the Makuhita. As things got too heated for the baby Pokemon, Joey recalled her and forfeited the first round. Next, it was Babylon the Eevee versus Mai the Ralts. While both sides used some good strategies, Babylon ran back to his trainer and returned himself to his Pokeball after getting hit square on with a brutal Psychic attack. After a quick game of chase, Joey consented to get to know Twila better and during their conversation time, the boat strikes a wall of nesting Corsola who were having problems of their own. Problems with very sharp teeth.

Important Happenings:
The boat ends up docking at Petropolis.
Joey is now wheelchair bound, temporarily.
He has also lost his hearing, not so temporarily.

My apologies in advance for forgetting anything.

This post has been edited by LittleShadowPokemon: Jun 18 2011, 01:15 AM

[Living Arrow]

RP Grading – 20,000 Corsola Under The Sea

General Notes

Two introverted characters on a boat. Two characters unsure of their futures as trainers on a boat. Two characters… with awesome Roleplayers! Below are your grades (apologies for the wait) and I think you both deserve every point. I had been following this roleplay for a while and it’s not my first time grading you both either so I’m pleased to see you both taking on board comments from before and am keen to see Darryn or Lori come your way. ^__^
I love little Joey and Twila. They are a little naïve when it comes to being a trainers but they are beginners and it’s great to see that you haven’t lost sight of that just yet. Though, with the way they’re progressing, I’m sure Badges/Ribbons/Medals/Fame will be on their way soon!
Great use of PMs for your battle and everything was well written for the entire roleplay.

Activity: 3/3

Skill: 6/7 You tell Joey’s history brilliantly and I’m never really given chance to forget why he is in Furoh or why he has such determination to succeed in his training career, whatever he decides to choose!

I had a major quibble with his following of a random Raticate into the sea without knowing what was going on. I know he’s out for adventure but without telling anyone where he was going etc I felt that his character was slipping because of the exciting plotline you got going. And then when he thought something other than the ship was bothering the Corsola… I didn’t see where he found that reasoning (maybe I am blind and missed something) and thought that maybe finding the Sharpedo would have made a more effective shock for the reader rather than warning us something else was on its way prematurely. Only some minor issues so only 1 point docked.

Battling: 5/5
Joey did some great battling in this roleplay. I liked his respectful recall of Kimiko when battling Merle and frustration with Babylon when the Eevee gave up on battling. Some of the ideas he had using Kimiko and Claw to defend against the Sharpedo were good, too.

Total: 14/15

Activity: 3/3

Skill: 7/7 Twila’s speech, to me, is a bit easy-going for a shy girl but somehow Twila pulls it off. I liked the way you showed off her mix of inexperience and confidence with familiar actions (diving) without making it seem like she was being unrealistic with her actions. You paid great attention to detail from the reactions of the other people on the boat during the “issues” that they were being faced with and I was happy to see her character kept to throughout.

Battling: 4/5
The only battle for Twila was between herself and Joey but it was written perfectly. I only docked 1 point because she didn’t get to battle later on in the roleplay.

Total: 14/15

Thanks,

~LA

[FirePower]

The Wonders Of Port Barley has been completed.

Xepidental as James Stanley (left)

Jansen as Willow Deacon(left)

Asterna as Rose Fiore

FirePower as Kaya Rovera


IMPORTANT EVENTS
*Willow, James, and Kaya arrive in Port Barley and decide to eat in a pizzeria
*Rose arrives, goes to the same restaurant as the others, and joins their group.
*James sees a pokeathalon poster
*Kaya meets Luke
*A double battle is proposed, but it never got started. RP turned in for people dropping out and inactivity.